Following Orders

Player Rating3.45/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 14 ratings since 07/05/2020
played 97 times (finished 14)

Story Difficulty4/8

"march in the swamp"

Play Length4/8

"A well spent lunch break"

Maturity Level4/8

"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.

                                                      Welcome to the Jungle

It is February 1519 and you stand among many Spaniards watching as the only ship left sails home. Hernan Cortes gave the command to have all but the one ship destroyed so that we must survive on this land or die.

You stand a young man, full of life and wonder. You saw an open spot aboard an expedition that was going to lands of wild, overgrown, and mysterious lands. Will you be one of those that returns home to Spain or one that finds a new home here?

 

The new world is filled with death and destruction. 

This is not historically accurate, just a forewarning.

 

Note: Pressed for time like many others.

Player Comments

Honestly, I'm not the biggest fan. I'd be lying if I said that this was really that enjoyable. The whole story just feels so... boring. I'm not sure any other way to put that. I would prefer some goofy mess, that is awful to something that is boring. Boredom in fact is the worst thing you can do as a writer.

The whole story was so bland. I didn't really care about the characters. I didn't care about the world, though that might be because I'm not a huge fan of the setting. It's just hard for me to say really anything about this game. It exists. I will probally forget everything that has happened in it within a days time. Hell, some of the characters don't even have names.

Now another major issue for me is the writing itself. The descriptions are bland, and the writing feels so forced. Like you thought of something then wrote it. If I want to have a, "Mountain that seems impossible to cross," I'm not going to say, "They looked at the mountain, impossible to cross." I'll instead say something like, "They gazed upon the mountain. With the snow piling up, their wagons stand no chance if they were to attempt to cross." Now that isn't the best descriptions, but you see how it's better. You want to be painting a picture in your readers mind. You want to transport them to that world, because that is what reading is about.

Now the branching is okay I guess. I don't see a real problem with it. It seems to be kind of liner, but that's fine. This is the most fine thing about the story.

In conculsion this story is very forgetable. I didn't really enjoy reading it to be honest. Now there is consederable effort, and it isn't garbage, so I'll rate it a 4 out of 8.
-- MicroPen on 7/26/2020 12:30:12 AM with a score of 0
This game’s setting and core concept provides much potential. However, it suffers from poor execution in many areas. The prose needs to tightened up, as other comments mentioned it gets very repetitive and doesn’t flow very naturally.
This also interferes with the atmosphere and mood. For example, in the opening page the protagonist watches a ship sail away from him. This is a great opportunity to explore his emotions, put forth some exposition, and describe the setting. However, the clunky descriptions failed to make an impression, even more so when several grammar mistakes started to pop up.
Overall, it needs much more polish. Much of the game is a dry list of events that fails to pop out. I understand this was written on a dead line, but you have much more room for improvement.
-- Deer89 on 7/18/2020 5:18:37 PM with a score of 0
Spoilers ahead!

Very interesting game, I enjoyed the idea of being the aggressors and invading strange lands, especially since the protaganist is naturally peace-loving. Diego was a intruiging character, and I liked the different sides to him; he could be very friendly towards you, however he's not somebody you'd like as an enemy.

I think this game could be developed a lot further. For example, I thought the mystery eagle carved into trees and people's backs could have been much more drawn out, and I think in one of the endings it mentions Diego with some painted men (possibly the Aztecs?)... Although it's understandable with the competition deadline.

Also, some of the deaths seemed unrealistic, e.g. soldiers killing you because you complained about them laughing at you.
But I'm being picky, and I actually thought this was a great game!
-- ApprenticePortentous on 7/13/2020 9:27:54 AM with a score of 0
The premise of being a soldier forced to follow order whether you like it or not is definitely an interesting one. Still, there were quite a few problems with the game that kept me from rating it higher.

The text could get extremely repetitive and was generally a very basic relay of information with no flair behind it. For instance; “A soldier nods towards the man who is sitting on the stump. It looks like he is praying on the stump. As you walk around the stump you see what has caught all the soldiers’ attention and stopped the laughing. The man was not sitting on the stump.” … You just used the word “Stump” four times in the same paragraph. Just by changing a few words around here and there and restructuring the format a little, you could’ve made that paragraph less repetitive and a lot more engaging.

Also, some of the choices were really confusing. For instance, at some point in the game, I came across this choice:

“The two of you walk together for a while until Diego ducks back and vanishes behind you.

- Attack the Man
- Wait”

… Got no idea who the man is, but I guess I’ll wait.

“You wait and watch as the man closes the distance and stands on the other side of the fire. The light reveals that the man is Diego.”

…Wait… What? But Diego just ducked behind me! I assumed he was hiding from the man. How do I suddenly have the option to attack him? I’m so confused! >.<

Also, the actions of the other soldiers are just… Bizarre. I mean, I’m pretty sure if you started a fight with another soldier and killed them for no reason, you’d be court-marshalled pretty quickly.

All that aside, I did enjoy the premise, and I do really like the fact that the game didn't have any "happy" endings (or at east not that I could find.) Definitely not bad for your first game, but could definitely do with some improvement.
-- Avery_Moore on 7/7/2020 12:14:37 PM with a score of 0
Well written and interesting :)
-- Will11 on 7/6/2020 1:06:38 AM with a score of 0
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