, #58 for
played 3,814 times (finished 202)
"run through the jungle"
"A well spent lunch break"
"choking hazard for children under 4"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 6. To compare to the movie rating system, this would be G.
This is a game where you choose if you go to college, what job you want, if you are going to get a significant other ,and how hard you work. There is no certain gender in this game. You can be a girl or boy if you want. I hope that makes sense. Anyways, will you succeed? This is only my second game, my first game wasn't a hit. But I'm trying again! Thanks for playing!(:
I'd like to say I enjoyed myself, but this may have been the worst story i've read in a while.
Ok, listen, I understand the occasional "your," and "you're," screw up and maybe a few misspelled words throughout a storygame, but the grammar in this was horrible. Come on, did you even try? There was even a link that had an exclamation mark, with a comma and a space before it. Grammar matters.
Also, you screwed up with the branching. In one path, you can barely try, but somehow you still end up having a ton of money. Many paths led to the same ending.
Transitions were choppy, and sloppy. Neither of those words are good, as silly as they sound when used in a sentence together. You were pretty much saying a sentence, then somehow leap to another sentence with almost no relation to the other. That's not how you write a good storygame. It makes it very linear.
Character development was almost nonexistant. Work harder on your plot, branching, spelling, characters, and effort.
on 5/10/2017 9:16:27 PM
Decent, but much too short.
on 5/21/2018 7:26:05 PM
needs slightly longer track and items
-- tyree on 4/19/2018 1:56:10 PM
-- billy on 3/16/2018 9:41:21 PM
on 4/24/2017 3:38:46 PM
Cute, short story.
on 1/23/2017 6:28:44 PM
its strangely short but its a good time waster
-- Feromount on 1/19/2017 6:14:39 PM
Cool, should be longer
on 11/28/2016 7:40:54 PM
That was really short.
on 7/15/2016 11:12:00 AM
A bit too short. Way tooo short
-- Jenniece on 6/2/2016 10:18:48 PM
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