Player Comments on Lost Keys
It's not that bad at all, though it is rather random toward some of the ending. It's pretty well known around here that random deaths that give no warning as to what may happen in the near future is annoying and not appreciated.
The grammar is terrible. As I've said in almost every review, proofreading is very important to any written work, and should be taken seriously. It's good to get help from some friends if needed, so that you can have more input and a better story overall. You could always just check out the links on my profile as well, which can help with your storygame immensely.
I think a bit more description is needed, because the story feels bland and isn't very interesting at all. Every story needs a backstory with information that's useful and enhances the experience for the reader. The pages are short and have only a few sentences and sometimes only a few words that's are harmful to the rating that will be received.
on 3/29/2017 6:29:15 PM with a score of 0
The grammar wasn't the worst in the world, but it also wasn't anything to necessarily applaud. The biggest problem was the syntax, most notably the overuse of the simple sentence. Simple sentences should be spread out in a piece of writing and used mostly for emphasis or when delivering a punchline. Using four to five of them in a row makes it feel like reading a children's book for beginner readers.
There were a couple good jokes in here, I'll admit that, but the majority of the humor relied on just being random. Randomness isn't funny, it's just...random. Sure, standing up in a lecture hall and yelling, "potted plant," at the top of your lungs might get you a few laughs, but if you kept jumping up and yelling random things, you would grate nearly everyone's nerves. It's the same when writing stories. Sure, a random event or two can be funny if used correctly, but otherwise it's just annoying.
Overall, grammar was mediocre, there was a massive overuse of simple sentences, and the humor was more annoying than funny. The author has potential, but I'm giving this story a 2/8
on 3/22/2017 6:12:25 PM with a score of 0
not the best
on 1/28/2019 1:46:12 PM with a score of 0
This is indeed quite a simple story, but there are certainly some things that can be learned from this story for those looking to write stories here on this site. Yes, this is a simple story, but even a simple story can be expanded and detailed. When people read stories here, they really want to be transported from their current life and into another place and sometimes another time. That’s why people read, in general. So to help them reach that place, rich, detailed descriptions can be included. Something as simple as the first page where you stop for gas could be over 1,000 words of detail. You could add information about the looks of the gas pumps, the dust on the pumps, the spinning of the dials if it is an old pump, or the brand-new digits on the new pump. You could add information about the number of pumps and what other cars might be at the pumps. There could be smells of oil and gas. You could describe the signs in the windows and the current sale on “the coldest beer in town.” Even in very simple instances, there is always more that you can describe and show, and the more detail like that you can include, the more the reader will be transported into the story and out of their boring life.
on 7/30/2018 10:06:50 AM with a score of 0
- Stole a car
- Broke into a store which wasn't locked
- Beat up a guy I'd never seen before
- Drove around in a Ferrari like a boss
- Never found my fucking keys.
on 8/3/2017 8:26:07 AM with a score of 0
on 10/15/2016 9:20:58 PM with a score of 0
There really is no way to win this game without committing a crime. The locksmith ate me for some reason.
on 6/18/2016 11:28:15 PM with a score of 0
The randomness of life is present in this game.
on 5/23/2016 10:51:39 AM with a score of 0
Random and funny.
on 7/18/2015 7:01:42 PM with a score of 0
it was jst too weird for me
-- damon on 11/1/2014 4:50:39 PM with a score of 0
Story is linear and well, I sort of got a meh feeling from it.
on 3/27/2014 7:18:53 PM with a score of 0
I loved the random humor at points, but it could be longer.
I liked it!
on 12/11/2013 10:43:14 AM with a score of 0
on 6/23/2013 9:42:59 AM with a score of 0
witty randomness and really funny... i loved it. Also, i won, which makes me like the game more. i cant imagine why
on 5/16/2013 10:34:07 PM with a score of 0
on 2/23/2013 11:31:30 AM with a score of 0
on 2/6/2013 6:57:38 PM with a score of 0
Way too short. WAY too short. Yeah...
on 1/29/2013 6:35:40 PM with a score of 0
Lol the ending I got was pretty funny and made up for anything else I was going to say xD
on 12/27/2012 2:14:08 PM with a score of 0
Seth says MEH!!! Random, but I find myself starting to like random stories. Nice story. 3/8
on 11/5/2012 11:34:27 AM with a score of 0
Aww man, I love your sense of humor, you have a direct line to my funny bone!^_^ The flagpole option really made me laugh, and when you decide to " scuba" dive.8 out of 8!!! Here, have a cookie!^_^ Now eat it before it turns into a radioactive monster. DX
on 8/27/2012 12:38:25 AM with a score of 0
Very witty,the writing style is weak.....You got 5 points for wit....
-- Muse. on 8/5/2012 10:20:37 AM with a score of 0
...if he is an olympic medalist then why he works as a locksmith...?...?
on 7/31/2012 12:34:35 AM with a score of 0
on 9/7/2011 5:19:45 PM with a score of 0
Just had to add, the witty randomness grew on me quickly! Some of the writing and choices are so ridiculous, I laughed until it hurt! Good job!
-- Leo on 2/20/2010 10:08:59 PM with a score of 0
Wow, pretty darn random, but I enjoyed myself regardless!
-- Leo on 2/20/2010 9:35:48 PM with a score of 0
not that funny
on 3/22/2009 11:45:36 AM with a score of 0
Remember kids, when you have a problem solve it with violence. You'll be driving a new ferrari in no time. Why is it I laugh at the stupidest random things? Maze Man, you never fail to make me laugh.
on 1/1/2009 8:06:28 AM with a score of 0
8/8 for me! This was great, I think I tried everything in it, including the two different ways to win (kind of the same, but a bit different) and all of the choices, including the death ones. It was really fun and funny as hell I had a great time reading this, thanks!
on 11/7/2007 2:23:39 AM with a score of 0
on 3/24/2007 6:57:01 PM with a score of 0
Linear, but a very funny and entertaining story.
By the way, why does the Locksmith eat me?
on 3/23/2007 10:27:33 PM with a score of 0
lol, this story is hilarious.
on 3/1/2007 9:16:15 PM with a score of 0
He ATE me?
on 1/2/2007 11:48:37 AM with a score of 0
Strange, but kinda fun. Extremely random, this would work better if the writing were more descriptive.
on 11/4/2006 3:17:30 PM with a score of 0
If you didn't have superpowers, how'd you get up there in the first place?
on 11/2/2006 4:41:45 AM with a score of 0
Very strange, but reasonably fun. Could work on some writing and more descriptions, as well as story.
on 9/22/2006 8:06:25 PM with a score of 0
I don't get the keys part.
on 9/17/2006 6:43:45 PM with a score of 0
he ate my keys?!?! lol funny. not too varied but still good.
-- nate on 7/9/2006 2:25:21 AM with a score of 0
Pretty good. Mildly entertaining.
-- weedy on 5/5/2006 5:16:32 PM with a score of 0
-- java on 11/7/2005 1:07:55 PM with a score of 0
Crapidoodledoo this game is more fun then poo!
-- Wayne on 10/19/2005 4:42:08 PM with a score of 0
Awesome, but not as good as your others!
-- Al on 6/3/2005 10:36:43 PM with a score of 0
Hilarious. (Danm I said that. Stop being funny, I dont like giving out good scores but you forced me to) Fine: an amazing score of 8/10
-- JJJ on 6/3/2005 12:42:23 AM with a score of 0
MAKE MORE! MAKE MORE!
-- Badger on 5/31/2005 8:44:07 AM with a score of 0
Joseph Fetchen bites. The mall is better(I love my new car).
-- Asha on 4/23/2005 1:42:05 AM with a score of 0
No real way too win. I don't want a Ferrari!!!!!
-- Havacoman on 3/22/2005 9:42:58 PM with a score of 0
Truly awesome! Make it longer!
-- Satisfied customer on 2/18/2005 11:57:22 AM with a score of 0
Hey Victor,great game it was very pleasurable.
-- Andy Barnes on 9/6/2004 5:05:45 PM with a score of 0
yeah i won! i won! the real way.
-- leon101 on 8/30/2004 10:47:51 PM with a score of 0
man are your games good and funny.
-- leon101 on 8/30/2004 10:44:37 PM with a score of 0
Fun game. I enjoyed playing it.
-- Doyle on 7/26/2004 3:21:26 PM with a score of 0
lol. great game! you should make another about the guy who lost his ferrari. and so the cycle continues...
-- caleb on 7/3/2004 4:11:31 PM with a score of 0
I got shot in the head with a Magnum. Just like real life...
-- Freebooter on 5/13/2004 4:44:21 AM with a score of 0
Mazeman! COMIC GENIUS. I love the way you have those weird and wacky endings and sneak in celebrity insults. This game should be featured, just to show what creative minds can whip up with this.
-- Carl Ed on 3/2/2004 11:03:44 PM with a score of 0
Pretty funny. By the way, if anyone has a green fence, could I borrow it? I need to tie my shoe.<br>
-- Paul Scott on 2/24/2004 9:20:39 PM with a score of 0
u can win the game by dying, omg
-- trinity on 2/14/2004 11:56:45 AM with a score of 0
Not bad, but not gta.<br>Fast paced and good length, but seems to lack coheison and real thought (except for the bit with your ex)
-- PaulTheGameBookCritic on 12/9/2003 5:40:50 PM with a score of 0
I liked this game. Long and funny. How could you mistake a scuba suit for a sousaphone?
-- Pete. on 10/5/2003 6:08:29 PM with a score of 0
yey. a ferrari.
-- bulldogface on 8/30/2003 4:04:56 PM with a score of 0
I own two bears.<br>One is pink?
-- Josh on 7/20/2003 7:30:27 PM with a score of 0
THAT GAME WAS SO COOL
-- Derrick on 5/25/2003 10:04:11 PM with a score of 0
Ok I really beat the game this time but. Disreagurd what i say below. This is why Mazeman is cool. Even though the end is...damn
-- Billy on 5/3/2003 8:53:46 PM with a score of 0
Solostrike this is why I hold you in high regaurd
-- Billy on 5/3/2003 8:50:01 PM with a score of 0
quick and funny read. Thanks for the laughs.
-- the dude on 4/20/2003 1:45:16 AM with a score of 0
And variety! Sweet, got the ferarri.
-- thatguy on 3/12/2003 9:26:51 AM with a score of 0
Gahh! I got eaten by the locksmith. hehehe
-- thatguy on 3/12/2003 9:22:54 AM with a score of 0
The game was funny, reminds me of Tommy Boy when he broke in(:
-- James Lawrance on 3/11/2003 6:09:16 PM with a score of 0
Fun game! HOw about another?
-- march5th00 on 3/10/2003 2:38:11 AM with a score of 0
I had fun with this one. Many different routes. Mazeman is a genius.
-- GusserMAN on 3/9/2003 8:16:30 PM with a score of 0
this is a cool game. there are many different ways to play--some long, otheres short. Mazeman's games are funny and fun to play. keep it up mazeman!
-- Keith on 3/9/2003 11:29:11 AM with a score of 0
-- solostrike on 3/8/2003 11:32:05 PM with a score of 0
Hey Rob i'm glad you liked the game, how old are you and why are you here?
-- Cole on 3/8/2003 10:54:18 PM with a score of 0
it was cool
-- Cole on 3/8/2003 10:49:08 PM with a score of 0
this game will leave you laughing till the end. many differnet endings, none of which are boring
-- Rob on 3/8/2003 10:39:22 PM with a score of 0
This game rocked! I recommend it!
-- Stephen on 3/8/2003 10:38:20 PM with a score of 0