Love Triangle

This was a rather fascinating love story.

While the premise is certainly interesting, I can't say that the presentation of this was the best. There were numerous amounts of typos that were present in this story, and pages that lacked much in terms of text. I couldn't really see a reason as to why I should pick one love interest over the other, because both didn't really seem to do much in terms of standing out to me.

The romance in this just didn't feel very genuine, and the girls had their moments of being somewhat horrifying. I mean, wanting to kill themselves or the reader at times, but I guess that was supposed to make a point that love makes most people insane, or drives them to do crazy things.

Anyway, my advice would be to better proofread your story for grammatical errors and slip ups. Also learn how to flesh out your characters more and make them feel more realistic, add some depth to them. I can't help but feel that those two things would have went a long way in making this a more enjoyable and fulfilling storygame.

I can't say that this is the best love story that I've played, but this was certainly quite a interesting game.

This just lacks polish in many crucial areas.

Grammar and writing could really use some tidying up. There were typos on nearly every page, and a simple proofread could have eliminated them all. My favorite was "feel8ngs" when pulling back from kissing Jen in the car. I guess the story itself was okay, if not a little confusing in the beginning, at least for me as I got a very early and abrupt end. I feel like this could be fleshed out a little more to encompass more plotlines instead of one choice leading to end and another continuing the story. Furthermore there could be a little more build-up and history on the characters themselves, more than "your girlfriend" or "your best friend".

Broken pic, not much effort into it, linear and kida boring. Um...sure...I died...because of a love triangle..wtf..
What should I say about a story with two lines in every page? Writing style isn't catchy either.

Love it if only there was more chapters????

so romantic

So it took me awhile to find the somewhat good ending. But it was worth it. It was short but enjoyable.

so romantic

Very nice done very well

Interesting story. Really, if you already have a girlfriend than your other friend should respect your boundaries and not try to get with you in the first place, surely? The scene where Jennifer just gets on a plane and dies just came out of nowhere though.

Well this was...interesting. The romances seemed forced at best, and the reader also doesn't get to see any personalities, let alone character development, throughout the story. This wouldn't be THAT bad if the two girls weren't completely insane. Note to everybody out there: if your significant other threatens suicide if you leave them, you are in a toxic and emotionally abusive relationship. It's not romantic! Both of these girls need thorough psychiatric help and the mc shouldn't have chosen between them, but rather called the suicide prevention line.

There was one other discrepancy that I cannot overlook. Why and how is this kid taking physics and algebra at the same time? Physics requires a strong understanding of upper level math classes. Maybe my high school was different, but it was required to have completed Pre-Calculus with a 'C' or better in order to enroll in physics. The mc is only in algebra and even if I give you the benefit of the doubt and say he's in algebra II, he's still not qualified for physics. Maybe I'm just way overthinking this small discrepancy, but I believe taking algebra and physics at the same time is, if not impossible, report card suicide.

Overall, it was a fun read because the bad endings and even the good endings were so overdone, they were funny. If this is really based off real life, please tell me that you got help for these mentally ill girls and didn't date them. 3/8