Love Triangle

This was a rather fascinating love story.

While the premise is certainly interesting, I can't say that the presentation of this was the best. There were numerous amounts of typos that were present in this story, and pages that lacked much in terms of text. I couldn't really see a reason as to why I should pick one love interest over the other, because both didn't really seem to do much in terms of standing out to me.

The romance in this just didn't feel very genuine, and the girls had their moments of being somewhat horrifying. I mean, wanting to kill themselves or the reader at times, but I guess that was supposed to make a point that love makes most people insane, or drives them to do crazy things.

Anyway, my advice would be to better proofread your story for grammatical errors and slip ups. Also learn how to flesh out your characters more and make them feel more realistic, add some depth to them. I can't help but feel that those two things would have went a long way in making this a more enjoyable and fulfilling storygame.

I can't say that this is the best love story that I've played, but this was certainly quite a interesting game.

This just lacks polish in many crucial areas.

Grammar and writing could really use some tidying up. There were typos on nearly every page, and a simple proofread could have eliminated them all. My favorite was "feel8ngs" when pulling back from kissing Jen in the car. I guess the story itself was okay, if not a little confusing in the beginning, at least for me as I got a very early and abrupt end. I feel like this could be fleshed out a little more to encompass more plotlines instead of one choice leading to end and another continuing the story. Furthermore there could be a little more build-up and history on the characters themselves, more than "your girlfriend" or "your best friend".

Being caught in a love triangle is VERY hard. But fixing the problem within just days is unbelievable. I mean, choosing between two girls in just days or weeks? It sounds like a womanizer to me.

The story is quite entertaining inspite the fact it's not very long or detailed. I picked the Natasha ending before the Jennifer ending because in real life, sadly, not everyone has the guts to admit that kind of thing to their crush. Especially if it's a childhood crush.
But despite all of that I think this is a pretty good story. It only needs more work, more detailing. I think this could be one of the finest love stories of all time.

Grammar and spelling needs polishing, I reccommend getting at least a few proofread checks before completely published. The characters are awful, they're manipulative and unpleasant at times (i.e one literally kills themself because the reader doesn't pick them.) that it made me wish for option 3 where I either go homo or leave both of them. I would like it if the characters' history with the reader was more fleshed out rather than just your friend or your girlfriend. Overall, the premise has potential, but the excecution leaves much to be desired. Please take this critique with a grain of salt and I hope to see you improve your stories in the future

... Both the girls sound like people I would want to stay far, far away from.

You asked which one I would pick, and honestly they both seem manipulative and overly jealous. This love triangle is just a generally bad place to be.

And also isn't a love triangle where all three parties love each other but nobody knows it and so they're all conflicted about who they can talk to, or am I dumb and thinking of something else?

I like it it's such a good story, and it's perfect length for me with lots of, like, plot twist-ey things

It's really goodif you get the right ending

Broken pic, not much effort into it, linear and kida boring. Um...sure...I died...because of a love triangle..wtf..
What should I say about a story with two lines in every page? Writing style isn't catchy either.