Player Comments on No Man`s Land (Zombie Survival)
Wow. This was definitely good! I enjoyed reading this the first time through, and going through again, and again. Multiple paths and stories to take. This was well thought out and well written (despite a few, minor spelling mistakes).
There are some issues in continuity and plot that I had. Like, 'how long was I passed out in that car'? You stated that the surrounding structures were in various states of disrepair, which made me wonder how long I was out. Was it for a few hours? If so, then those zombies flooded that city faster than a tsunami. Was it a few days? If so, that's understandable, when looking back at Telltale's The Walking Dead, when Lee was unconscious for a few days in the Police Car. Was it for a couple months? If so, no. Not even Rick could have survived that long (luckily a doctor stayed behind and took care of him.)
But my issues aren't quantitative, as this story is well executed, and makes sense. You say this is your first story, so I'm excited to see what else you can conjure up!
on 12/5/2017 12:04:19 PM with a score of 0
I must say that this was a pretty fantastic storygame overall. I've experienced many games with this exact setting, but I believe that you've done a pretty decent job with making sure that your story was both intuitive and interesting at the end of the day. There were a fair bit of choices and paths to be taken, so hats off to you on that front of things. I definitely see much promise and growth from you as a writer with what you displayed in your writing in this piece.
The idea for having achievements to be earned throughout the story was a concept that I found to be rather fascinating. While I do believe that maybe such at thing could have been better implemented, such as possibly having achievements with a bit more difficulty in achieving, and perhaps having all of the achievements that a reader was able to get displayed at whichever ending they received would have made the conclusion to a path more fulfilling.
While I did have my fair share of enjoyment with this story, I feel that some improvement could have been made with fleshing out the dialogue and giving it some more depth. I feel that such a decision would have made the choices feel more impactful, and the story as well by extension. Sometimes it simply felt that the emotional aspect of things took a backseat to other facets of this story, though those aspects that I feel that were given more focus weren't done poorly.
In conclusion, good work. This was a zombie game that I found myself enjoying with each achievement and ending that I received.
on 11/6/2017 10:58:24 PM with a score of 0
I liked it but.. what about about the kids? It's like you completely forgotten that they exist.
-- Bob on 2/14/2019 10:48:32 PM with a score of 0
military rescue, product placement, out on a limb
on 9/30/2018 1:24:28 AM with a score of 0
Enjoyable. Making it longer and more diverse, I believe, would increase the rating.
on 9/15/2018 5:20:46 PM with a score of 0
This is a solid zombie survival. Good endings, funny scenes. overall good, grammar is a bit messed up but, minor detail.
-- reed on 8/24/2018 7:45:26 PM with a score of 0
Great story! I liked all the different paths! My first ending was Dehydration, my favourite ending was Wastelanders! There were a few typos here and there, but it didn’t affect the story much. I rate this a 7/8
-- Storyplayer147 on 4/22/2018 8:50:23 PM with a score of 0
Wasn’t this interesting huh.Now we all know that zombie apocalypse story games aren’t exactly a new thing, but I loved it anyway.The achievements were a bit much and easy to get but then again it was a first game so you have an excuse.It was intriguing to see that you took a bit of time and effort with this, instead of rushing out your first game like most writers do.While the achievements were as numerous as bunny babies you still had that achievement twist that isn’t used normally on zombie story games, so a + on diversity.You also stuck to making zombie types, instead of them all being the same, I saw 2 from the walking dead series the metal head and the spitter from Left 4 Dead games.(I don’t keep up to much with zombie games or shows, so forgive me if i’m wrong)Another + on diversity.(Man your killing me with the diversity)I really am just gonna stop the diverse stuff and cut closer to the point.While I only got 1 blue ending(And whole lot of red) I can tell you took time to think this through and get the endings.While I found that going to school was a fucked-zone which is interesting since a school ending would be a great, then again I didn’t take all paths so you might have one.
I also wanna take the time to show you how many fucking achievements you can get :). I got the Product Placement,MEGA KILL, WELCOME ABORD and SLY FOX in 1 path.Kinda funny and random now that I think about it, and I love random.Altogether I loved this game as a First game 5/8 for sheer effort and randomness.-Sincerely Mistery
on 3/9/2018 4:05:01 PM with a score of 0
on 2/9/2018 12:15:53 PM with a score of 0
Ha ha, I got the cafeteria food ending on my first try. Just couldn’t leave my kids to die! The writing of this story is excellent. Athough the choices are somewhat linear (you only save yourself and your wife in the end), the plot will definitely interest anyone who likes a zombie setting.
on 2/4/2018 9:23:57 PM with a score of 0
again Very good!
on 1/24/2018 4:23:14 PM with a score of 0
So far I have played 5 times.
PRODUCT PLACEMENT achievement
WELCOME ABOARD achievement
BETTER TOGETHER ending
GAS STATION ending
PRODUCT PLACEMENT achievement
FOREST WHISPERER achievement
SO CLOSE ending
SUPER SECRET achievement
PRODUCT PLACEMENT achievement
AT LEAST IT'S SOMETHING ending
PRODUCT PLACEMENT achievement
LUNCH RUSH ending
on 1/13/2018 12:12:26 PM with a score of 0
Better than the average story on here (particularly zombie stories). However I think writing should be a bit more descriptive and detailed to create more atmosphere & involvement with characters
on 12/27/2017 3:50:12 PM with a score of 0
I suggest in future stories like this you use the items system to help players organize and make it so you can go down the same path with different items
on 12/26/2017 3:27:19 AM with a score of 0
Wow. To start off, I'd just like to say that the inspiration you took from Dead Man Walking is very abundant here, and most players should be able to pin it down from about a mile away.
Now, onto the actual story. It has its flaws, and comes off as a fairly generic post-apocalyptic storyline. I particularly found it ridiculous when, after four pages of clicking, I received the 'dehydration' ending.
But, it does its job as a zombie CYOA. It has zombies and a generic apocalypse, and your writing is certainly decent, albeit somewhat primitive.
This is actually a solid entry/game. Definitely not a feature-worthy adventure, but nothing in it is so bad that it justifies a removal from the site.
on 12/18/2017 8:19:11 PM with a score of 0
hi this is great
-- en on 12/14/2017 1:27:40 PM with a score of 0
That was really cool, I did not die LOL best ending ever
on 12/6/2017 5:11:01 PM with a score of 0
i do wish it would be longer
-- eh on 11/18/2017 2:21:17 AM with a score of 0
it is realy good the details are very good, one thing missing is lenght it should be longer and instead of doing 30 years later you should have like clips a few pages of years overall very good
on 11/17/2017 1:06:08 PM with a score of 0
I enjoyed the story. What happened to the kids?
on 11/16/2017 6:35:10 AM with a score of 0
Super. Easy and fun. A great first story! I liked the addition of the achievements, made it more interesting and rewarding.
on 11/13/2017 2:03:47 PM with a score of 0
Sorry for the double post; I'm commenting from a phone. I just want to add that there are a few problems that I've noticed so far. Firstly, there's no reason a company would talk about a small disease outbreak over the loudspeaker. Secondly, your children seem to disappear from the story even though it's implied that they probably went home. Third, your wife isn't mentioned again if you go to the railroads. The latter 2 problems seem to be more about a lack of effort put into the details.
on 11/10/2017 10:17:19 PM with a score of 0
Pretty good for a first game. I see a lot of people got the military rescue ending. I got the Better Together ending.
on 11/10/2017 10:04:39 PM with a score of 0
Fun, but too short and the decisions were a bit obvious... still pretty good, much better than may I have tried.
-- RandomRedHead on 11/1/2017 2:02:58 PM with a score of 0
Fun... it seemed a bit short, but I ended up getting the military rescue ending. How high up the food chain is that? The sniper made everything easier, but yeah, this was definitely not utterly amazing, but a good story- I can see you put probably hours of work into it.
As for level of difficulty... I would give it a five maybe six. There were a few questionable decisions I made that unbelievably did not affect my survival. There was a bit more narrator-choosing-for-me than I’d like, but overall I’d give this a six rating- worth every cent.
on 10/27/2017 5:13:06 PM with a score of 0
Military Rescue ending
Found secret page
and some other achievement towards the beginning
All in all good story. It would be nice if it was longer though.
on 10/26/2017 8:36:48 PM with a score of 0
Well, for a first story, it's not bad. I got the military rescue ending. I like the idea of achievements that you put in your story. However, the story is a little linear, it kind of goes in one direction. I saw a few errors but nothing significant. All in all, it's an enjoyable read. 6/10
on 10/26/2017 5:33:32 PM with a score of 0