Party of the Year
, #59 for
played 849 times (finished 117)
"walk in the park"
"A well spent lunch break"
"must be at least this tall to play"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 10. If this were a movie, it would probably be between G and PG.
You go on an adventure to a party that is completely appropriate! But is still a lot of fun
I really disliked this story for many reasons.
There was some awkward wording here and there throughout this storygame, for example...
"You walk in the party & the party is in full swing"
I find the fact that you said "party" two times a bit awkward for this sentence. It would sound better if phrased like this, perhaps.
"You walk inside, and the party is in full swing."
There were also a few grammar and spelling errors, such as "rol" and not "roll."
This also had little branching and nearly no character development at all. Remember: this is chooseyourstory.com. This storygame felt as if I just kept repeating over and over again until I choose a certain path.
There's also no reason why the police attacked the party. Even of there was, it wasn't mentioned.
But hey, it's not warrior cats or anything I suppose. And it's better then a lot I see around here. There's also a half decent plot, even if it's a bit cliche.
on 3/24/2017 1:01:54 AM with a score of 0
Feels like the fact my cousin was tagging along was forgotten about in the conclusion of the story.
"YOU JUMPED THE FENCE AND MADE IT HOME SAFELY! YAY!"
"But what about my cuz, and his roaches? Did they jump the fence with me? Get arrested?"
*narrator profusely sweating*
Story was pretty meh. I'd advise describing the characters and locations in more detail. You can still use the images, just have some text to back them up with.
on 8/19/2015 10:08:30 AM with a score of 0
Contained many grammatical errors, wasn't amusing in any shape or form and you lacked details on each page.
on 1/11/2018 9:15:37 AM with a score of 0
I would like to say, this story is weird, why?
1. There's some wrong letters in the words.
2. The story is a little bit mixed up. (Didn't understand much of what your goal was in this story and the story himself)
3. In the party, same results to the sandwich situation and maybe more situations, no progress or effect in the story...
I would recommend to see top rated stories and read them, and learn how to write in the story.
Final rating: 2/8
on 11/14/2017 2:36:13 PM with a score of 0
Where's the story? Where's the game?
What's the point of everything?
I think you could have developed the plot a bit more.
I like how you used pictures, though; not a lot of games around here do that.
on 6/5/2017 12:47:05 PM with a score of 0
Normally I'd give a story like this a 1 or a 2. But I found this mildly entertaining. 3/8.
on 3/5/2017 11:20:45 PM with a score of 0
i thought the game was very long but i5t wasnt what i thought so yea i gave it a four stars so hope you make a longer story
-- Eva G. Dumaguit on 2/8/2017 3:06:25 AM with a score of 0
-- Jackie on 4/22/2016 10:01:23 AM with a score of 0
It was ok, but had random pictures that had nothing to do with the story plot. It could be a lot better.
on 4/7/2016 2:00:43 PM with a score of 0
Too many useless pictures. If you write a good storygame, then pictures would help, but your story lacked a plot and character development, so all the pictures did was piss me off
on 3/22/2016 11:58:13 AM with a score of 0
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