ran to far

class comment:
I thought the ending where I'm reunited with my family is a sweet ending. On one of my playthroughs where I got eaten by a bear which actually shocked me, but in a good way. I guess I just wasn't expecting an end like that.

class comment,
I think the story is cute. It has many endings that are sad but not too crazy. I felt like I had control and i think there was a good amount of information given.

Interesting idea! The story itself was pretty fun, I laughed a couple times. One area of improvement that I see is giving the choices more agency. Great job!

class comment here,
very cute concept, short but it follows the assignment guidelines. The early "wrong" choice I think ends a little bit too abruptly.

I'm going to unpublish this, again.

If you just want to show it to your friends or something, all you have to do is check Sneak Peek in Storygame features and share the URL. It doesn't meet minimum site standards however and so it just needs to stay in your profile.

What Chef said.

Actually I guess I'll just unpublished it now to protect the author since I think they're like, ten or something

Sorry kid, it wasn't a bad first effort and I'm sure you're very intelligent for your age, but this isn't going to be rated highly enough to meet minimum site standards.

Introduce yourself on the forum if you want, you can usually get some good advice there. But I think you should focus on reading some of other stories on the site, the ones that are rated highly, so that you can get an idea of what readers are looking for.

Thank you for the point. Sorry in advance for Mara's comment.