TheChef, The Wordsmith

Member Since


Last Activity

12/7/2019 10:29 PM

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Duel Stats

1 win / 0 losses





Yo, I'm the Chef.  I like to write gruesome, gory, gnarly stuff.  I also have a soft spot for adventure, just ask Edmond.  


Chef's Book list as of September 2019:

Ready Player One (2011)       

80 pages of I Capture the Castle (1949)

All of MicroPen's Reviews (2019)



Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points


Land of the Setting Sun

My entry for Gower's Contest: Battle in the Ruins of a Dead Civilization

Explore the not-so-uninhabited ruins of Japan, after it had been completely annihilated in World War Two.  Fifty years later, the travel ban is lifted, and James and his crew may be the first people to get a peek into this relic of a country.  However, expect the unexpected, for James and his crew are not the only residents of the Land of the Setting Sun!

Hope y'all enjoy it!  Please leave a comment, any feedback would be much appreciated!

V.2 - 183% less POV and tense errors, partly in thanks to the help of Shadowdrake27 and Mizal.  Thank you both!

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Recent Posts

The Doctor is In (Maybe) on 12/5/2019 9:32:25 AM

That's good!  That's exactly what's meant to grab the reader's attention.  Disney+ is the fad right now as far as streaming services go, and I'd personally say afterwards, especially if we're talking about Tyler.  Not a good chance he's doing anything after this.

The Doctor is In (Maybe) on 12/5/2019 12:33:37 AM

The first page of my story.  A bit mundane and difficult to start, but hopefully that'll play out in my favor later on when the story takes a turn.

[Brad]: hey man, u up? got a present for u, lmk

The lukewarm light from Tyler's phone lit up his room, followed by a cheery chime that signaled the arrival of a text message.  Tyler had already been awake, shifting in the sheets uncomfortably for about an hour. He reached over, grabbing his phone from his nightstand.

[Tyler]: Yeah I'm up dude. What is it?

[Brad]: u heard about the Disney plus thing right?  bitches are crazy over this shit man, so I got an account

[Tyler]: And?

[Brad]: here... email: and password: 0123jxbr, pick up some of those hoes on ur tinder dude

[Tyler]: Where tf did you get the money for a Disney+ man, that isnt even your email.

[Brad]: don’t worry about it dude, its free. just make ur own profile tho, dont want ur shit clogging mine

[Tyler]: Alright, I’ll try it, whatever

Tyler turned toward his alarm clock, which read 10:37 in crisp red letters.  It was a Saturday, thankfully, which meant some other fool was slaving away at Denny’s, instead of him.  

He kept scrolling through his phone, eyes glancing at Tinder’s little “fire” logo; three notifications shone in the corner of the app.  With a sigh, he kicked off the rest of his covers and entered the rest of his small apartment. Living in San Jose hadn’t given him much in the way of free space, but he was used to it.  A bedroom, kitchenette, and small living area were all he had, but that was fine.

It was cozy.

The suspense was killing him, active notifications were like buzzing flies.  He had to swat them. As he poured a bowl of cereal, he browsed through his potential matches.

Chef's Kitchen: Year's End Contest on 12/3/2019 6:43:19 PM

Thanks for the feedback!  I was switching the movies around earlier between them, it was a bit difficult to gather 6 Disney stories with snowy scenes that ALSO matched their personalities.  If you happen to think of anything I forgot, that'd be cool.  

And it's going to split into 6 branches very very early on, I'm trying to make it manageable so it doesn't achieve the "wide as the ocean, deep as a puddle" effect.  Hopefully it works lol.

The Silver Ghost-Corgis Contest Thread on 12/2/2019 11:29:42 PM

So this guy's an anti-villain!  Makes sense, I couldn't imagine a collective of space richies doing anything good for the universe.  As with anything sci-fi, the other alien races immediately spark intrigue, so I'm eager to see what you'll come up with to make them distinct.  I did, however, fully expect his cigar to actually be used as a weapon.  Dammit.  

Anyways, I'm intrigued as to what will come next.

Chef's Kitchen: Year's End Contest on 12/2/2019 11:09:27 PM

Setting up the story with some characters.  I liked the idea of scrolling through Tinder to choose your date, and then having the eventual movie that you watch be directly correlated with their personality.  These are obviously pretty basic characters, I don't really anticipate anyone going through radical character development apart from maybe the MC.  

Main Character

Tyler Berwick: A 22-year-old looking for Real Love™, so naturally, he chooses to use Tinder.  Inspired by his friend, Bradley, he adapts the Netflix and Chill dating method, even though it doesn’t really line up with what he actually wants.  Nerdy and nervous, but pretty average looking.  

Side Characters

Bradley: Tyler’s best friend and also a massive douche.  Cares for his friend enough to give him really bad dating advice, and is the whole reason this story gets going in the first place, sparked by Bradley giving Tyler the email and username to his Disney+ account.  

Stella: Tyler’s first option while swiping on Tinder, and by far the sweetest of the girls available.  A bright, conventionally attractive smile, and a girly personality. Bubbly, but potentially grating and annoying.  She prefers the movies Frozen and Beauty and the Beast.

Rachel:  Resident bad bitch.  Presumably swiped right on Tyler by accident, only for him to accidentally garner her interest.  Color in her hair, numerous piercings, this she’s going to be a bit of a challenge for Tyler to deal with.  She prefers the movies Monsters, Inc. and One Hundred and One Dalmatians.

Erin: Typical nerdy girl.  Impressed by pop culture references and memes, and probably Tyler’s most natural fit.  No particularly distinguishing physical features, she’s got glasses, cause nerds have glasses.  She prefers the movies Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Alice Through The Looking Glass (2016).

Storyteller Pilgrim - contest (Camelon) on 12/1/2019 9:53:31 PM

This story is gonna be hype, and I love this prompt, almost picked it myself.  I like the idea of picking specific members of your audience based on their appearance.  Gives an element of control, but not complete control over the path you take.  

Infinite Story's New Toys on 12/1/2019 6:47:45 PM

Going around and making powerful enemies is not usually my style.

Chef's Kitchen: Year's End Contest on 12/1/2019 12:02:45 PM

Oh yeah.  Headed back via greyhound again, but way better stocked this time.  Gonna plan to grab an aisle seat too.

Chef's Kitchen: Year's End Contest on 11/29/2019 11:11:58 PM

Not a story update, but important nonetheless!

This is the tale of the Greyhound from Hell.  

You see, once upon a time, a foolish motherfucker decided to take a trip on a bus.  Not his usual fare, the short bus, but rather a Greyhound.  Typically, this motherfucker had pretty good luck with his travels, slight delays at most.  But he was in for it, oh yes he was.  For he was about to take the San Bernardino Hellhound.

What was once a hopeful trip, sparked by the consumption of edibles, turned into a dastardly and nasty affair.  Black ice plagued the roads, and the people on the bus began to grow reckless.  Cars crashed, and drew the freeway to a grinding halt.

The poor motherfucker tapped his foot impatiently, as his stomach began to grumble.

intercom crackles 

The motherfucker heard the cheery voice of the driver, and hoped for the best.

"Well, I don't know what to say, folks, but if you're in the industry as long as I've been, then you know the people who have it the worst out here are the truck drivers, who can't meet their mileage quotas because of the black ice."

The motherfucker rolled his eyes, as the guy next to him complained loudly on the phone.

"This driver nigga keeps talking about shit we don't care about.  I wanna hear about detours and shit."

The bus shuddered to a complete stop, and remained that way for fifteen minutes, while the men who'd consumed the edibles in the backseat began to shake.  The poor motherfucker realized he was now trapped between a mountain and edible crazed men, with no discernable way out.  Another thirty minutes passed before he came to his senses, and realized that he had been cannibalizing his own thumb.

The bus began moving slowly again, and the motherfucker got his hopes up again.  He released the grip on the man who was unlucky enough to be sitting next to him, leaving the man dead in the bus aisle, bruises on his throat.  Despite having committed murder, everyone else on the bus was so frustrated that they turned a blind eye.  The bus was moving slowly, but more consistently now, and the motherfucker couldn't help but wonder whether his personal hellhound was finally finished.  But as they slowed down to a stop again, he knew the truth.

The motherfucker spotted a lone car sitting on the side of the road, having slipped off the icy path.  He wished them a swift death. 

As the bus crept its way past the first mile marker in nearly an hour, the dead body in the aisle began to look rather appetizing.  He considered walking to a nearby gas station, but when he looked out his window, he realized he was beyond the point of return.  The snow and ice was far to treacherous to traverse.

The motherfucker began to fantasize now, about taking over the bus and barreling through the traffic, taking the driver's skullcap and turning it inside out to use it as his new beanie.  He imagined all the other cars exploding on impact with the bus at his command, and their inhabitants being sent straight to hell.  It helped pass the time.

The bus began to move again, and the motherfucker finally seemed to be home free.  As the hellhound rolled up to the bus station, the motherfucker stepped off, glad to be rid of the infernal trap.  He checked his phone.  A four hour journey had turned into an eleven hour one.

Chef's Kitchen: Year's End Contest on 11/29/2019 10:40:08 PM

BUT I was just in time to force you into this contest!  So I see it as a net gain.