tmanaking, The Reader
Hello I am a new author working on my first serious attempt at a game. I prefer a small amount of choices that greatly impact the story instead of many smaller ones. I love this site and there is some amazing stories here. I hope to soon add my contribution to to the middle class of stories.
This is a story of love, regret and how magic might not be able to fix everything.
This story will have only a handful of choices but each one will carry massive weight.
Recent PostsMoral Quandaries on 4/15/2017 11:57:33 PM
I would light a cigarette off the burning building and say something about rebuilding on the ashes, then probably feel like a dumbass and walk away knowing I ruined a great chance at a memeroble one liner.
Really? on 4/10/2017 9:56:21 PM
As many cool uncles there are there is just as many if not more you were never allowed to be alone with.
Writing Prompts Week #13 on 4/9/2017 11:19:26 PM
Josh felt as if his heart had been torn out his chest. Laying comatose in the hospital bed before him was his 7 year old daughter, Alice. She had been sick for a long time and Josh had always known this moment would come, but he still felt devastated. Alice only had a few hours left on this planet according to the doctor. This was his last chance to see his daughters face. It wasn’t fair, what kind of sick twisted God would let such an innocent child suffer? Alice had done nothing wrong so why was she being tortured likes this. Josh then begin to wonder if it was his fault, wondering if God was doing this just to hurt him. Josh thought God had punished enough when he had taken his wife a few years back. Josh felt his thoughts rampaging through his mind colliding against one another before shattering apart. Suddenly despite the El Paso heat filtering through a window Josh felt a chill run down his spine. Nervously Josh slowly turned away from the form of his prone daughter.
WhatJosh saw scared him beyond words, he was no longer alone in his daughters room. Standing behind him was a woman in a dark robe. The most defining features of the woman was the long handled sickle in her right hand. The other stand out feature was that woman only had a skull on her shoulders. With a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, Josh remembered those stories he had heard oh so long ago from his grandmother. The woman before him was none other than Santa Muerte, the Lady of Death herself.
After feeling the initial shock wear off Josh felt himself growing more and more frantic. There was only one reason why the Lady would be here, she had come for his daughters soul plain and simple. Taking a timid step forward Josh chose to try to convince the Lady that she was here prematurely.
“I know what you are and I know why you are here, but if you want to so much as lay of finger on Alice you have to go through me.” Josh exclaimed, sounding more confident then he felt.”
The Lady looked at him and let out a low chuckle that destroyed what little confidence Josh had left. “Why do you humans struggle so much against what you know to be inevitable.”
“Why you ask? Alice is an innocent child and it is a parents duty to protect them from cold hearted monsters like you.” Josh spat out with all of the contempt and hatred he could muster.
Taking to a moment to let Josh calm down the Lady spoke once more. “You call me a monster but exactly what do I do that is so evil in the minds of you mortals?” This caused Josh to stare at the Lady in a mix of shock and repulsion.
“You tear families apart, you go after the innocent with no mercy or remorse and you dare ask why you are viewed as a monster? You are the one who took my wife from me, and now you have come to take my only family away from me. Us ‘mortals’ as you refer to us as, we have something that an unfeeling force of evil such as yourself will never understand, we love.” Josh had to admit he felt a little better getting that off of his chest.
“Let me ask you something, is this precious love what makes life worth living? When you breathe your last breath will love keep your family from feeling the pain of loss?” The Lady inquired in a flat tone of voice.
“Love is the most powerful emotion. With it we can walk through hell with a smile so our loved ones may find bliss in heaven. I don’t get why the hell you asking about that but I’m sure you are incapable of understanding what a great motivator love is.”
The Lady without missing a beat simply said, “see that is where humans are wrong. Love does help but it isn’t why life is precious. Life is precious because I am always lurking in the shadows ready to end it in a heartbeat.” Josh merely looked at the Lady as if she had grown a third arm.
“Do you hear the stupidity that is coming out of your mouth right now? What kind of demented, sick lie are you trying to force on to me.” Josh was still glaring at the Lady in a mix of hatted and disgust.
“Tell me then through out history what do all the great figures have in common? What is the one thing that is the same regardless of when or where? The answer is quite simply, that one thing is they dedicated their one and only life for the sake of others. What makes life their life special is that they used up the most valuable resource they had in the pursuit of helping others. They used what little time they had to make an impact on history. Another point is that, you say I hunt down the innocent with no mercy or regret. I will be honest I do, but what you are forgetting is that I go after all mortals with the same ‘coldhearted’ efficiency. It doesn’t matter; rich, poor, saint, and sinner. I come for all when their time here is at an end. I came for your wife the same way I came for Osama Bin Laden.”
Josh had listened through the speech and he had felt something in his heart change. The Lady was right. Life had meaning because it had an end. While it might be true that Alice had only been on this planet of a brief time, she had been here. Josh realized that if he denied the end then the time she had been here would be disgraced. Taking a deep breath Josh spoke up, saying the only thing that he could. “Please let me say goodbye then you can do what you need to do .” The Lady merely nodded.
Josh felt tears start to stream down his face. With a shaky voice Josh began to say goodbye to his daughter. “Hey sweetie it’s me, daddy.” Josh felt his voice catch in his throat, pushing through it he continued to speak. “I just want to let you know how much I love and care for you. You are the center of my universe, but it’s time for you to take a trip. A nice Lady will pick you up soon and I promise you’ll love where you two are going. As much as it pains me to say this, I won’t be able to join you for awhile. Don’t worry though,” by this point Josh was struggling to keep his words coherent through the grief.
“Mama will be there to wait with you so don’t worry about being lonely.” Josh took a moment to look at his precious daughter before he leaned in and kissed her gently on the forehead. “Goodbye sweetie.” A moment after he had said goodbye he heard the sound that he was dreading, she had flat lined.
Amongst the wails full of pain and the constant buzzing from the machine a gentle sigh went by unnoticed. The Lady looked at the pair of broken humans, one had her body broken and the other with a broken soul. This job never got easier no matter how many times she had to do it.
“Rest easy my child, you have finished your journey.” With that The Lady used her sickle to reap the soul of the young girl. Taking her spirit by the hand they walked off together, the sick little girl and The Lady of Death
Love and Hate on 4/9/2017 12:47:13 PM
I was trying for a little bit of humor. I thought it was a good line myself.
Love and Hate on 4/9/2017 12:34:07 PM
The man actually appears for the first time in the page before that one so all that is explained. I was trying to go for he is an insecure person who tries to cover it up since he believes if his bullies sense weakness it'll be worse . And don't feel bad if I wanted someone to just be super nice about it I would've showed it to my family or something:)
Love and Hate on 4/9/2017 12:50:33 AM
Thank you for your feedback. I understand what you are saying about little things having a major impact. I was aiming for a under the rough exterior Tyler is actually kind of wise beyond his years moment but I can see how that comment came off as sounding a bit off the mark. I wasn't quite aware that my punctuation was all that bad I thought I did I decent job but I guess that's why I wanted an unbiased opinion in case something like this happened thank you for the helpful comment.
Love and Hate on 4/9/2017 12:04:55 AM
Here is a bit not so dialogue heavy part. Since I know my dialogue is iffy I want to see if there is any other major problems.
The next morning
Tyler woke with a start, and to his surprise found himself in his bed at home. Laying there Tyler took a moment to check his surroundings. The same old white roof that greeted him every day was still above him. Tyler held his breath, intently listening. Nothing, no sounds of life or happiness could be heard from the structure. Letting out his breath Tyler relaxed, that lack of sound was confirmation he was home. He didn't quite live alone but his house was never filled with sounds. Probably because just he and his older sister were the only ones to live there. The last Tyler had heard of his mother she was on some corner trying to get enough money for her next hit of heroin. His father had pulled a smash and dash on his mother, so he was never a part of his life. Apparently though he was the one who paid the bills, something about a deal with his mother.
"No more vodka before bed that was a crazy ass dream." Tyler muttered to himself. As he got up and prepared to get ready for the day one thought kept bothering him. Tyler had no memories of getting home at all. Shrugging it off Tyler hopped into the shower. About halfway through he heard the front door open, great his sister was home. After drying him self off and pulling on a pair of pants he wandered into the kitchen looking for some breakfast. Sitting there obviously hung over smelling like sex was his sister.
"Lisa." Tyler barely acknowledged her. "Shut the fuck up, your voice is hurting my head." Lisa growled at Tyler. "You know if you keep missing school your ass is gonna get held back, again." Tyler added in a dry tone of voice. " Fuck you my grades are good, so what if I miss a couple of days? Besides that of course you talk about my ass. It's the only one you ever see you sick fuck." Tyler just sighed, gave up on food and went to go finish getting ready for school. After an uneventful journey Tyler found himself self sitting in first period waiting to start another day of bullshit. Surprisingly the teacher had an announcement to make, "Class today we have a new transfer student joining us. Come on in Sunny." The teacher stated in his boring monotonous voice.
Love and Hate on 4/8/2017 11:46:49 PM
Negative I'm just using my height because it is a good way to plunge into him being bullied. I know back in school I was picked on for being short and skinny. So I'm trying to have that be my writing from experience part. The name is just something I use in most of my stories as a tribute to my late uncle who was pretty much the only male role model in my life for quite a while. My name is actually Ted. Hope that helped to clear some things up
Love and Hate on 4/8/2017 11:38:39 PM
Thank you I will try to work on the dialogue. Amy has a specific reason why she talks so formal like and I was trying to foreshadow something with him rejecting being called a hero but I also understand that dialogue is definitely not my strong point. Thank you for your feedback
Love and Hate on 4/8/2017 11:34:31 PM
No but him being short will definitely have an impact on how people around him treat him. Unfortunately some people are just short I should know that's how tall I am. :(