, #36 for
played 3,024 times (finished 287)
"march in the swamp"
"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"
"must be at least this tall to play"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 10. If this were a movie, it would probably be between G and PG.
THIS GAME IS IN NO WAY CONNECTED WITH CAPCOM
Following the incident in Racoon city,the virus has spread to another city,a new city called Carolinopast,it is in the middle of the pacific ocean and you are just a cafe manager,and your hobbies include :Shooting targets with guns and workouts,many policemen have offered you a spot on the SWAT team,but you refused them all......Its now 7'o clock,Present day......
The grammAR in this game is so apparent that it was hard to read through almost any of it.
Not that it took all that long given the linear pathing and no plot. I've played the last three resident evil games pretty recently and I still so almost no connection anywhere except for just ZOMBIES given the complete lack of plot.
The endings were so random and bare that it brought nothing except more endgame links to get through it faster.
on 3/15/2021 7:56:39 PM with a score of 0
on 4/11/2018 5:17:21 PM with a score of 0
This is quite possibly one of the most atrocious things I've ever read. Everything is wrong with this, so let's break down, piece by piece.
PLOT- There was none. I know about the resident evil games, but there was little to no detail about much of anything here. I couldn't find character motivation or any resemblance to the RE games at all.
GRAMMAR- You lacked spaces, capitalization, paragraphs, and basically everything else. I found it hard to understand even the pages with two sentences on them. Speaking of which, don't have pages with two sentences on them.
ENDINGS-Random death endings. This story was linear, so linear that there is literally only one path. This barely counts as a CYOA story.
Whatever the original idea was is completely indiscernible from the terrible writing. Whatever hope I had for a good RE fanfic was lost under a mountain of garbage. I had hope, and lost it quickly. If you care about the story, I would start fresh next time.
on 2/11/2018 7:58:16 PM with a score of 0
U should really work on your game seriously
on 11/21/2017 4:05:18 PM with a score of 0
you really should make another one
on 4/19/2017 10:06:09 AM with a score of 0
i like this, its really good
on 4/18/2017 10:39:06 AM with a score of 0
You need some more detail in this. The deaths seem too subtle.
on 3/16/2017 6:36:14 AM with a score of 0
This story was... at best, boring.
Alright, i'll give you the negatives first.
The first thing that you need to know is to use the capital key on the first letter for names. There was an instance in the game where you didn't use the shift key for a name. I believe it was the name Daniel.
Second, I don't know much about Resident Evil but... this game takes the entire story and names from the resident evil series. I'll give you a tip when making some fan-fiction. Try to add your own unique content in the story. It would be boring if you copy everything that happened in the story itself. Add your own taste!
Third, put more description! Adjectives are the foundation of a story. Which of these sentences sound better to you? Oh no! There's a zombie trying to eat you or Oh poop. There's a bloody zombie slowly crawling towards you! The second sentences has adjectives and adverbs. That makes a reader picture an image in their heads!
Fourth, put more details in your story. Use the 6 W's! If you don't know what they are, it's Who, When, Why, Where, What, and How. These questions can really help out in your story making it more interesting. Mix this with the third one and you create stunning imagery.
Fifth, so linear and short. The longest path in this story is about 10 pages long and the others are about 4 pages long. The deaths don't make sense or are so surreal. I understand that Resident Evil is a horror story but really? Please try to put more pages next time.
Lastly, the first page is too short. Seriously, the first page is the page that attracts attention on your story. Please do the 4th and 3rd tips to make me get hooked to the story. It's the attention grabber or your story, you know?
Now, here are the positives.
The use of images make this story makes this story a tiny bit more interesting. I just had to pull away because of the lack of detail and I wasn't hooked.
You seem to be a determined writer if you put effort into your stories. Sadly, it appears that you only made 1 story on this site and shown no effort into ever improving. Maybe that's because you just made a game in a hurry and then stopped logging on.
on 1/21/2017 10:35:54 AM with a score of 0
I liked it. Scary and fanny at the same moment. Please continue this story.
-- MrnE on 12/2/2016 5:16:59 AM with a score of 0
Ever heard of spacing?
Overall, very bad story, needs a mega-improvement
-- Deadly Lion on 7/20/2016 3:30:49 PM with a score of 0
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