The Swan Lake

Player Rating4.00/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 16 ratings since 12/03/2020
played 109 times (finished 21)

Story Difficulty3/8

"trek through the forest"

Play Length3/8

"A nice jog down the driveway"

Maturity Level6/8

"I'll need to see some identification"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 16. If this were a movie, it would probably between PG-13 and R.

Inspired by the ballet; "Swan Lake".

 

A homeless man recovering from addiction meets a woman, Odette, in tears outside a brothel.
Together, they decide to find a treasure that could help them make a life for themselves. But they soon learn that there was a reason that the treasure had gone unclaimed for so long, and find that they may just lose themselves along the way...

Auhor's note:  This story has a narrative that is heavily dependent on the choices you make; there is a total of 7 endings that are decided by your final choice, and the set of final choices you have is in turn determined by the decisions you took early on in the story. This was inspired by the fact that the ballet has been performed with a vast number of alternate endings (the Wikipedia page lists around 12, though some of them heavily overlap with each other), a fact which seems to make this story fit the "interactive genere" well.

 

While this is primarily influenced by the story "Swan Lake", it also takes inspiration from these sources:

 

-Supernatural

-A Canterlot Wedding

 

Maturity : While I have tried not to be overly graphic, this story does involve some dark topics, such as suicide. I would give it a 16+ year age rating, though viewer discretion regardless of age is advised.

Player Comments

I’m kinda on the fence for this one. On one side, I like the style of the writing and the general “feel” of the story, it really has that old school fairy tale thing going on for it. I realize this might be partly due to the source material, which I admit I am ignorant of. On the other hand, I feel like this story would have immensely benefitted from much more detail and exposition. I feel like a lot of things, including potentially important ones, were glossed over in favor of keeping up a brisk pace due to time constraints or some other reason.

I genuinely knew nothing of Odelle other than her parents died and yet I was willing to give my life for her and perform acts of true love for her. Similarly, I would have liked to know more about the world other than the castle and surrounding lands where the story mostly takes place. In some places, it almost feels like a kid’s story, only it clearly isn’t.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed it in parts and overall it was good. I thought the twists and general narrative were pretty creative and interesting, but then they fell slightly short because of the length and lack of detail. All in all, I’d recommend focusing more on developing the relationships between your characters so the reader actually shares some of the feelings and sentiments for the characters with the protagonist. I, for one, would have had no problem reading through a couple of pages of conversations and experiences with Odelle if it meant getting a clearer picture of who she was and why exactly the protagonist was so into her in such a short time. A single paragraph glossing over their conversation does them little justice.

Finally, I would recommend not only trying to write more and branch more, but to go in heavy with more detail. The world seemed promising and interesting, but ultimately failed to captivate me because there simply was nothing there of substance.
-- DarkSpawn on 12/22/2020 11:14:10 AM with a score of 0
Hard to follow at parts. Basically enjoyable and fun.
-- Quorrah on 12/27/2020 10:42:51 AM with a score of 0
I LOVE IT!
-- anneisin on 12/15/2020 5:50:27 PM with a score of 0
While not being familiar at all with the ballet that this is inspired from apparently, I must say that this is written well. At least in my opinion, I felt this story to be one that didn't leave me feeling like there was a lack of choices or anything that prevented enjoyment.

A nice little sprint of a story. Perhaps it could have used a bit more development of the themes of the main narrative. But for what it's worth, this is not a bad entry for the Fan Fiction section of the site.

Kudos.
-- TharaApples on 12/11/2020 4:51:36 PM with a score of 0
I enjoyed it, but I wanted more development in the relationship
-- Kytty on 12/6/2020 9:47:51 PM with a score of 0
I don't know much about the source material, but it seemed a little random to meet this girl on the street and then to immediately go traipsing off to a castle in the woods, I felt like there were a few scenes missing here to develop their relationship or y'know, at least ask around to figure out the castle really exists outside her mom's stories.

And it does feel sort of lightweight, so a couple more pages would've helped in any case. Much like with the author's other stories I find myself wishing it was a little longer, that there was a bit more branching or at least a puzzle to solve. The choice regarding the sword felt especially pointless, and did not later lead to the option to say you didn't know who the heck Odile even was when you didn't meet her but got routed back onto the same path anyway.

But otherwise it's a nicely written little fairy tale, and for what it is I can't find too much fault with it except wishing there was more. There's definitely room on the site for stories like this however.
-- mizal on 12/6/2020 4:11:32 PM with a score of 0
The story is not bad, However, all is pure telling and there is no show at all. The game is triggered to choose "good" guy choices as the rest are bad ends. However, you don't give any reason to want to save Odette that my character just met. It also feels really rushed in the pace as if we were jumping from the castle to the city... It is not bad for a first story
-- poison_mara on 12/3/2020 6:10:56 PM with a score of 0
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