You Are A Disc In My Dad's Spinal Cord. Can You Make His Back Stop Hurting In Time For Christmas?

Player Rating4.33/8

"#386 overall, #36 for 2018"
based on 70 ratings since 05/24/2018
played 878 times (finished 89)

Story Difficulty4/8

"march in the swamp"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level4/8

"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.


You Are A Disc In My Dad's Spinal Cord. Can You Make His Back Stop Hurting In Time For Christmas?

Player Comments

Usually when you start out with a title so long that the play button goes off the screen, you’re in for something pretty bad on this site. However, that’s certainly not the case for this story! This is a great little story that’s absolutely hilarious.

I’m really not sure what’s up with the commercial fishing boat. I just don’t even know what to say there. At least it comes with a nice warning about what’s going to happen. I’m wondering if that’s a medical problem that some people have where their discs turn into commercial fishing boats under certain conditions. I’m betting there’s a medication for that (but it probably has a side effect of turning into commercial fishing boats).

Indeed, this was random at times, but the clear path was always there. But also the side paths were fun. I liked becoming the mayor of Florida, sorry about that, dad. There were also many other options and lots of fun times for the reader. This is a very well done short story that should entertain any reader with a sense of humor…but I still don’t really get the commercial fishing boat, though it is clearly quite powerful. And hey, why didn’t I get to be a commercial fishing boat when I was singing with the walruses? Nicely done, thank you for sharing this with the site!
-- Ogre11 on 6/19/2018 4:22:44 PM with a score of 0
I...actually liked this? But I hate lolrandom games, how can this be??

Just have to chalk this one up to a Christmas miracle, five months late I guess.

Anyway, this was short but probably just about the exact right length to keep the jokes from wearing thin. The premise is uh, unique, and the dedication and commitment to transforming into a commercial fishing boat was truly impressive. I laughed out loud at the Santa twist there.

You have good taste in music as well.

Several of the choices were fake, in that they took you to identical pages regardless of the link itself being named something wildly different, so that was a little disappointing. The game still had a decent amount of options though, and it was nice there was more than one way to get to Santa once I got tired of impressing geese. (If you hadn't dropped quite so many fucks in the yeti segment you'd be able to lower the maturity rating on this btw, it's the only section that had a bunch of four letter words all at once and it stood out a bit.)

I really hope you're a genuine newbie and not someone's alt doing weird performance art, but either way this was a lot of fun and I definitely wouldn't mind seeing more like it. The title though...yes it's eye catching but the way it messes up the button is deeply upsetting to me, any chance you could shorten it?

Oh, and I hope your dad's back gets to feeling better in time to save Christmas.
-- mizal on 5/25/2018 7:07:59 AM with a score of 0
I had to completely ignore the rubric I usually use to rate story games. "Did it make me laugh until I cried" was not one of the criterion I usually use. Honestly the best review I could give this would have been a video of me laughing until my abs cramped, then laughing more when I finally opened the next page.

If this had been made in 2004 or earlier, the founders would have lauded this as perhaps one of the greatest works of fiction of all time. tsmpaul would have probably given you his trophy and this would have made the top games list. Trust me, I read the games on that list at that time. This beats more than one of them.

Fortunately, we've crawled far out of the Primordial Ooze. It's 2018 and we have standards now. Standards that this called into question! Linearity usually locks stories into poor ratings, lolrandom death pages usually end in me checking a box for a score penalty in my stupid little notebook.

For this game, I deliberately clicked on game ending links because I wanted to see with what you would present me. This stuff was gold.

It's short, it's funny, it's refreshing, it's well edited, it is absolutely worth playing!
-- ugilick on 5/25/2018 3:02:37 AM with a score of 0
I found this extraordinarily funny. I probably rated it far too high, but this game contained my sense of humor and I had to respect that.
Obviously the game was pretty simple. It had a 'yes or no' type ending option (give or take some boats). You either won or you didn't, but since winning and not were both funny it didn't matter as much. The game itself is mildly linear but contains a surprising amount of choices that each have their own charming quirks.
-- bilbo on 12/29/2019 7:50:08 PM with a score of 0

I quite liked this! The writing was polished; the sentences flowed well, and there were no broken links and few immediate death scenes. The "game over" scenes that were available simply led back to a checkpoint, rather than to an "End Game" screen, which was a nice feature.

Most of these 'bad' endings were quite humorous, and I found myself trying to obtain as many of them as possible. I loved how I could become the mayor of Florida, burn alive next to the sun, and tell the Christmas Elf to shove it. My only regret is that I could not do these things while also healing the dad's back.

The quip about "becoming a commercial fishing boat, killing everyone instantly," which was nearly constantly available throughout the story, was humorous. I loved how if you threatened to do this to Santa, he turned into a boat in self defense. It was so random that it was funny.

There was a decent amount of interactivity. Most scenes had anywhere between two - four links. I especially loved the scene with the seals; I chose to progress by screaming my lungs off like a banshee and singing horrendously. Even the elf liked the song. It was quite fun.

As many other commentators have mentioned, you may want to fix the title. It's far too long, and makes the 'play game' link stretch all the way off the page. It may cause some readers to take pause before playing your game.

Keep up the good work. I've rated this 5/8. May give this a higher rating if the title was fixed and the length were longer.
-- Reader82 on 12/21/2019 7:11:44 AM with a score of 0
"You become a 126 foot long commercial fishing boat. My dad and all of the people who live in the houses on either side of my dad's house are dead. My dad's back will still hurt when he joins God in heaven because he was never able to solve his back pain while he was on earth. Christmas is illegal for a thousand years"

Here's a great example of the dry, humorous narration throughout this story. Really, that and the fact that nothing about it is painful to read really save it.
I loved the narration, and the way it was so matter of fact really fit well with the absurdity of this story.

However, I have a lot of issues with the branching in this story. Several times there were multiple choices on a page that led to the exact same result. If you are going to have there be not even the difference of a single paragraph, why give me the choice between saying "Deal" and "Ok"?
There is also a potential infinite choice loop, and whenever you don't save Christmas, you are directed back to a checkpoint rather than given an end game link, which I disapprove of.

This was an amusing story, and I can't say it wasn't enjoyable, but the issues with the structure were too big to rate it very highly.
-- Cricket on 12/16/2019 12:14:25 PM with a score of 0
It started out interesting, but towards the end it got boring. It was really funny though!
-- StupidManatee on 9/29/2019 5:42:17 PM with a score of 0
Pretty good, I saw a few mistakes here and there but thought that the story was pretty funny. I would say that this gets a 6/8
-- Unkindcrab on 3/11/2019 5:08:31 PM with a score of 0
I love the storyline. Funny, and definitely not a waste of my time ;) ! Thanks for the good laugh!
-- Clydesdale on 1/18/2019 9:42:28 PM with a score of 0
The most sophisticated game I have ever played. If you need to be educated in back pain relief, this is a great resource.
-- Pineapple_gumdrop on 12/19/2018 10:03:43 AM with a score of 0
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