Your Adventure in Wonderland

Player Rating4.14/8

"#405 overall, #32 for 2012"
based on 103 ratings since 06/24/2012
played 4,276 times (finished 123)

Story Difficulty3/8

"trek through the forest"

Play Length5/8

"Not going to lose any sleep"

Maturity Level4/8

"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.

I originally have this on fanfiction and have now decided to post it here. This is only the first half of your adventure, but I'll like to see what people think of it. Flames will be used to roast my marsh mellows and will be ignored, but I rather them not be there at all. Below I will paste and copy the introduction that I have for it on fanfiction.com.

Author's Note and Disclaimer

READ ALL OF THIS BEFORE GOING ON. VERY IMPORTANT.

Girl-of-Action- Greetings readers, what up? This is my newest story, one of the few that I plan to finish. And don't worry if you don't know about this twisted version of Alice and Wonderland, its no problem! Well, this is less my story and more your story than anything else. I'll explain what I am mean in just a moment, but first, let me tell you what this story is about. Have you ever gone to the book store and picked up one that has the words 'choose your own adventure' written on it in bold? It usually has 100-200 pages and has an "adventures log" in the very back. If so, than you know how this type of thing works and you can skip the paragraph below. If not, then read on.

After reading each "page" in this "book", there will be words written with bold print and in parentheses at the very bottom. These will be your "choices". It will go along like this. (IF YOU WISH TO _ THEN TURN TO PAGE _. IF INSTEAD YOU WANT TO _ THEN GO TO PAGE _.) Get the idea? You are the main character in this story and will have a say in what happens to your character. Will you be merciful and free the prisoners, or will you leave them to rot for something they did to you earlier in the story? Be careful though, each choice has a consequence and one might even lead to death!

In since I can't very well give you an adventures log, you will have to make up your own. Now, this is not necessary, but it will very much help you. Every little detail could help you later on. If you don't want to do this, than at least take a piece of paper and right down the pages you went through in the order you did them. I will constantly be twicking and improving all of this, so I don't want you to go up to me and say, "What the heck? I don't remember doing this!" Anyways, I will also be giving you some pointers at the beginning of each page in these little things [ ]. It will say something like go to a room with dim light and play American McGee's Alice Dry Landing song. You will be able to find these songs if you go on to you tube. Again, this is not necessary but it will help you feel like you are really there.

Okay, now for the disclaimer. I do not own Alice in Wonderland or American McGee's Alice… Bloody hell! I don't even have enough money to buy the game! In the end I had watch someone else play it on YouTube… *Goes and pouts in a corner.* Go to page 2 and leave me to my misery!

Player Comments

I only gave you a 5 because my story was unfinished. You used very good description. If I could change anything I would use choices instead of page numbers. For me it would eliminate the need for keeping a log.
-- Faervel on 11/11/2018 3:24:00 PM with a score of 0
The grammar and spelling was absolutely horrible. It confused me sometimes to the point in which I couldn't even understand what was going on, and had to skip the paragraph.

Secondly, I couldn't even finish it with the "page" guiding. Unless I wrote down each page I went to, which would be an unnecessary hassle and I am unable to do as I am traveling, I had no idea which pages I had gone to. Did I go to page 11? Should I or should I not go to this page, if I don't know if I've gone to page 11? There are ways to do this, and it's not complicated. Or, instead of writing page numbers, you could have even used place names (ex. Hallway, stairs, kitchen, etc).

Lastly, details in the story didn't match up. How would you recognize yourself in a picture if you didn't remember what you looked like? Are you a girl, or a boy? Act as though you know, but never question it and memories suggest differently than current events. Also, little things like the doctors' actions. Wouldn't the doctor act surprised to see someone who has been asleep for years?

I'm sorry, but as far as I got in the story was enough for me to know it was put together atrociously. Maybe later on it got better, I wouldn't know, but I think you should go back over it and fix it before adding the rest if you were even going to do so.
-- Vitani on 9/9/2017 9:29:19 PM with a score of 0
Guess it's never getting finished as it was first published in 2012 ,which is a complete shame due to this story game being amazing.
-- _skye_ on 8/4/2017 3:11:55 PM with a score of 0
Amazing detail and format, many choices, very suspenseful, I love it!
-- RavenAsakura on 12/6/2016 8:02:31 PM with a score of 0
I keep losing -_-
-- chess303 on 9/5/2016 8:20:24 PM with a score of 0
this was the best book I've read out of all of them though I'm a bit confused as to who ash is
-- Destiny turner on 8/13/2016 6:51:15 AM with a score of 0
I had goosebumps while playing this. XD, I lost the game eventually.
-- Theasa on 1/16/2016 5:14:12 AM with a score of 0
Absolutely beautifully written - even though there are some grammar and spelling mistakes, though nothing major. I am completely hooked on the story and was quite disappointed when it ended - I expected this CYOA to be much shorter, reading the other comments, but it actually went quite far for me. It's completely mad, but I love it! The only reason I had to rate it lower than I wanted to was because it wasn't finished.
-- OliviaAdams on 7/20/2015 1:24:41 PM with a score of 0
Hi :) guess you have already notice that I just found out about your story game today... And well... I was hoping for a good ending not that it's not good or anything but... It's... Incomplete... But none the less amazing story and game :)
My first try was... Funny xD anyways... Great game story. Love it :)
-- Yuuki on 5/12/2015 9:11:34 AM with a score of 0
Really creative and in the style of an ACTUAL choose your own adventure story! 5/8
-- Creature on 3/23/2015 3:38:49 AM with a score of 0
Show All Comments