Well the way it’s going to work (refer to story description on my profile) is that that is the first page of the Prologue, which will be completely linear. Then you can start making choices in the second chapter (which takes place 200 years after the Purge), and each choice will have major repercussions in the story. Most of them anyway.

There will be no choices that lead directly to “death”, but there will be “bad endings”.

Holy crap Seto, it’s been a while!

P.S. I posted the rough draft of the first page of the story game I’m working on in the Writer’s Workshop. It would mean a lot if you checked it out for me!

Thanks for the input! These are some great points you brought up!

Hello fellow Cystians! A year ago when I used this site, I published 2 what you guys would call “s%#tpost stories”. At this point, whatever I publish will actually be of some quality.

Anyway...

I want to know your thoughts on the rough first page of my current work-in-progress. I don’t really have anyone to give writer’s feedback over here at my end, so I guess I’ll turn to the next best thing. Here it is:

==========================

July 22nd, 2020

Darrin sat on his couch, watching the television with intent, yet troubled eyes. 

"Channel 7 News here, reporting live on the planet-wide event taking place since Joshua Calvin's anti-Magik protest in Washington D.C. yesterday afternoon. Violent riots have been erupting all over the country and are even starting across the sea, with hordes of protestors ridding our world of these dangerous people. Calvin's inspiring words last afternoon have awoken the people to the fact that these people are the scourge of the earth. Here is an excerpt recorded from his speech-"

Joshua Calvin's arrogant face appeared on the screen. Calvin was not some crazy old man foaming at the mouth in a sweat-stained t-shirt, far from it. He was barely 23, with a smooth shaven face, blindingly white teeth, and with every fiber of his black hair slicked back against his scalp. He wore a black three-piece  suit, and his words flowed like honey through the speakers.

"Since the beginning of time, the Magiks have plagued our beautiful world. You've seen how dangerous they are! Joey Malga, the Magik who torched St. Jude, with hundreds of American lives being lost! The lycanthropes who bite our children, turning them into monsters! We believed the Salem Witch Trials were unjust, but our ancestors knew that Magiks are a threat to our families, our country! We must snuff them out before they snuff out u-"

Darrin shut off the television before Calvin could finish the sentence the rest of the world was repeating. His wife Wynn walked in from the kitchen with a mug of strong coffee in each hand. Handing one to Darrin, she sat down slowly on the couch. 

"How bad is it?" Wynn asked quietly. 

"They're saying that the entire northeast has been purged, along with the south and the Florida Keys," Darrin answered placidly.

"Some of the neighbors have been getting suspicious too..."

"I know. We have to get out of here as soon as we can."

"What about Mira? Her ‘friends’ have been texting her hate since yesterday. She's so young for something like this to happen.."

Darrin glanced towards his teen daughter's bedroom.

"That's why we have to get out as soon as we can."

============================

Thoughts?

Just trying to do my part in adding to this hellhole of an RG thread.

Honestly even if you did integrate a law making it illegal for financially unstable people to have children, you would only make it a bigger problem. Most people probably wouldn’t care about abiding a law like that. Do you honestly think that people you classify as “poor people” would be like “Oh crap I can’t get laid because of this law saying I can’t have sex because the risk of getting pregnant and overpopulating the world is too high”.

The Prohibition of the 1920’s which restricted the sale of alcohol caused booze-running gangs and over 700 underground saloons to be built. Honestly most people dont give a crap about laws restricting these kind of things.

Also just updated my profile. I replaced all the crap with slightly less rancid crap.

Profile picture is now much better.

Thanks! :-)

Reminds me of practically every tabloid article written about Elvis.