Necromancer has chapters and it's one of the most cherished storygames on the site, so there's clearly nothing wrong with marking a major event as the turning of a chapter. This works because the storyline is big enough to affect the setting and characters whenever it evolves.

I'll assume when you say the link fails you mean it goes to a different page. I think CYScript has a way to do randomization and all you really need is to add a link based on a variable that you randomly set to 1 or 2. One of those links leads to the "success" page, the other leads to the failure page, and both should look the same. I don't know offhand what that script looks like.

Probably, but... why?

Good writing and a nice twist. Well done short story.

You can probably cut your wrist on the edginess of your own post whenever you're ready to go.

The pacing up to Ingram sitting down at the breakfast nook is in line with the length of a traditional novel, which could be shortened for the CYOA format, if it ends up in one. The remaining paragraphs are a little wordy with smaller details, otherwise this is fine. Ingram doesn't seem to have any lingering sadness over his daughter's condition once he walks away, so he comes off as a dude who prioritizes work pretty close to family. Interesting writing.

This is a good and reasonable suggestion that occurred to me, too. We've only got one person working on sleeping on feature requests, though, so I wouldn't count on this happening too soon.

Luckily, this problem is more or less solved if you install the CYS browser extension here. You'll see comments on your storygames on the "My Stuff" page if you click the tab itself. It doesn't handle notifications for those comments, but you won't miss comments as badly as you would if you had more than 1 storygame.

Welcome, and hope you enjoy the site.

Feel free to read some good articles between some outdated ones here, especially the timeless and informative advice from Gower, which probably won't take longer than an hour.

Interesting life story. The edgelord contest is already over, though. I think you could use some work on some of these things, maybe introduce a grand fight that leads up to a family murder or something. It was pretty linear, too. But I'm sure if you spruce up the story a bit, you can get a 3, maybe a 4 rating in a future contest.