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Hey guys,

I'm quite new to writing stories on here, and I've read various articles recommending to use the forums to get input on stories, so I thought I would start a new thread to check if I'm going in a decent direction with my story without giving the entire plot away. 

When I was losing my enthusiasm for my update of 'Sleepless Passion' (where I was struggling to make certain advanced game features work as I would like), I decided that I should probably move on to a different writing project for now, especially as I had so many ideas in my notepad. However none of them really seemed punchy or powerful enough for a full story on their own (not without a lot of story development in any case). Just for amusement I merged all my ideas into one story, but I found that the resulting story really intrigued me, with a lot going on and plenty of room to add some depth. 

'From Scratch' is essentially a post-apocalyptic story (I love this film genre so I thought it would be a logical subject to write about), where the protagonist (a man who lost everything in his old life) has to thrive in the post-apocalyptic world, handling a small group of survivors in the right way and making the right decisions using his survival skills, for not just his survival but the survival of humanity. 

I have a lot of twists in mind to make the story unique and a lot more engaging, the central theme however is on the man having to do everything 'from scratch' in his life, and I go into an exposition on his old life at the start and how he relives that life in his mind each day to build up the characterisation. At this stage I don't want to reveal more than that, but at the moment I have finished Chapter 1 (which is effectively an introduction as there are no choices at this stage), but I wanted to make Chapter 2 more game than story, where you have to pick up various items, solve different puzzles and avoid certain dangers to survive. 

So basically my question is, how do you go about incorporating this sort of game into a story without making the reader feel like they went into a completely different story within a story? I worked the plot in so the game fits with the story, although it might feel a bit forced to some. I considered ditching the game altogether and going straight to what was originally Chapter 3, however I didn't want the protagonist to just be 'lucky' to survive what caused the Apocalypse, I wanted to make it so he has to earn that survival as he has done through his life, so the reader feels more attached to him, and that he is capable of directing and saving the 'new humanity'. 

Also, it will be hard to avoid my 'game' (Chapter 2) being similar to a computer game on a different website, is it a copyright issue to do a similar sort of game in the CYS format? I couldn't think of a different version that would fit with the story direction I have at the moment. 

One thing directing these questions was that the two things I felt let down my first story was a lack of characterisation and trying too hard to make the game end cleanly (making the story's changes very sudden and a bit unrealistic in places), so I really want to craft the main character to make them memorable but draw the readers into their vulnerabilities/idiosyncracies and how he overcomes them, as well as his attributes. I also want to show the significance of the other characters from the perspective of the main character, using his experiences with those characters to shape how they changed him and enabled him to function relatively normally in the world.

I'll probably have some more questions when I get to Chapter 3, where I have a twist on the survival element I am very excited about executing, but one thing that is clear to me is that this is going to be a pretty long story and, given how busy I am in real life, it could be a long time before it's finally done. I realised that as far as Advanced Game Features go, I should probably write the story out first and then incorporate the advanced features into it, rather than the other way around. 

PS Actually I do have one other question. For Chapter 1 the protagonist ends up surviving in the outdoors on his own (far away from civilisation), but how important would it be to provide choices to determine whether he survives or not? I was tempted by this after seeing how well 'The Martian' executed such a concept, but I was concerned it would be hard to make it realistic in a game setting. While people do get killed in the wild by 'random events', that doesn't fit well for a story mode, however I know I'd have to explain any event using the proper scientific reasoning, and even then it would probably still feel a bit random. So any thoughts on how such a story could work or if I'm right to scrap it for now as being 'too big a story within a story' would be good to hear. 

This sounds like a massive undertaking.

When you say you're starting with exposition, how much exposition are we talking about exactly? Since most CYOAs are 2nd person, I'm willing to go along with more exposition in the beginning than I would in a novel, since I want to know the basis of who I am, but I still want the action to start on the first page. As a follow up, how many pages are in Chapter 1? I think an entire chapter without a choice is really stretching it for a CYOA. We don't need a ton of backstory, unless it's crucial to the plot. And in such a case, it should be woven in as needed, not dumped on the reader at the start. Give the reader the bare minimum he/she needs to know.

As far as incorporating the game elements, you could create puzzles or strategical based choices that allow the player to successful complete some sort of scavenging mission or whatnot. If you did research into survival skills and navigation, I bet you could come up with some intriguing strategical decisions.

In another take, I can see how losing a member of your party to injury would force you to choose between bringing back the fire axe and food cache vs. dragging the cripple's broken body back to camp. There are many perks and negatives to either choice, depending on how you want to take it as an author.

Many games share similar traits. Don't steal the other games' plot, characters, puzzles, etc. Berka did a great Dungeon RPG in Dungeon Stompage, but that doesn't mean someone else couldn't make one with their own special flair. EndMaster and Steve both how stories that put a large focus on Necromancy. Similar elements, entirely different stories and experiences.

Well... no one really wants to run into an End Game link before page five or so. In five pages you can go on a nice short little adventure, and that gives the author enough time to hopefully peak the reader's interest enough that they go back and keep reading on a longer path. For all the work you put in as an author, you want people to read as much as possible, hence why I never understand the stories that let you die on page two or three.

When you say you're starting with exposition, how much exposition are we talking about exactly?

It's 11 average-length pages at the moment, however I'll take your advice and make it very interactive with a choice on every page. The first five or so choices won't affect the outcome but the character has a slightly different experience depending on those choices, then it gets into the critical decisions for survival. 

As far as incorporating the game elements, you could create puzzles or strategical based choices that allow the player to successful complete some sort of scavenging mission or whatnot.

Sure, I've come up with some good ideas where the player has to incorporate some sort of knowledge to get to the next stage, without the frustration of dying whenever the puzzle isn't solved right away. I was thinking of making it item-based, so you need to find certain items in the day to do important things at night to survive or otherwise gain an 'advantage' going into a later stage of the story. Naturally this is likely to change a bit as I write it all up.

Many games share similar traits.

I came up with a game I'm pretty happy with, I think it could even be a quite unique one for the site once it is all done (assuming no one independently comes up with and publishes my game idea before I've published my story!)

For all the work you put in as an author, you want people to read as much as possible, hence why I never understand the stories that let you die on page two or three.

Sure, that especially makes sense for a long story. 

@Ogre11

Actually that's more or less how my structure runs so far, however I might change it so the reader begins with the protagonist's childhood and makes decisions for the child so they can understand where the character is coming from when they exposit on their problems. The danger with this is handling the big jumps in time, but I think it fits well with my vision of showing how the protagonist changes with each person he comes into contact with. 

 

On another note, it's funny how often I come up with lots of ideas just after writing a post with questions! Maybe it's something about actually explaining the issue (so another person can understand it) that makes the solution come out. I have the whole structure for the first two chapters fleshed out page by page (as opposed to the general direction) so I'm keen to execute it when I have more free time! 

 

An idea for the game elements -- would it make sense to write Chapter 1 as past tense, then Chapter 2 brings the reader to present day?