Forums » Writing Workshop » Read Thread

Hi people, I'm wondering what to work on for the site this year and as a tester put out the first of a series I might post on the site which has met praise and criticism (my favorite was the guy who complained it was "lots of reading". I apologize. Books have a ridiculous amount of words and I'll try to make them shorter and simpler next time :D ) and I was wondering whether to develop the first into a five part series or put it aside and try something different. I was wondering if anyone would be kind enough to give me their opinions on whether I should develop this or bin it?

(For some reason the link is not copying and pasting but it's the story Magellan 1: Race into the Great Unknown in the New Storygames box :) )

Will, you are a very good writer. Whatever you want to write, write it. We will read it.

If you insist on less generic opinions, I haven't had a chance to read this story yet - been too busy on my contest entry. But I plan on taking a look later next week. Still, refer to paragraph one.

Thanks Bucky :) I want to write a 7/8 story but I think all these in the series are a 5/8 or maybe a 6/8 if I'm lucky... still they are fun to write :) Looking forward to your contest entry :D

Don't we all want a 7/8 story? :P

... I'd still like to collaborate with you on something, y'know.

We will have to do something interesting in the future :) I might not have time for a month or two though because I'm back to work in a few days :(

I really liked it, I though it was very entertaining and I'd definitely play more of it. The only thing I didn't love was the name, which I can't stress enough, was far too close to Cleopatra, and Cleo's a girl name.

Yeah I saw your comment and you make a good point, there's a very good explanation behind that name.

First, because I'm not very bright, I left the reader's character's gender ambiguous in the delusional belief that male and female readers would feel equally happy in the role. Later in the series (in number 2 in fact) when the reader has love interests I started leaving their gender roles ambigous too. By the time the romantic scenes came around the thing was downright bizarre so I scrapped that idea and made Cleo a boy but couldn't be bothered to delete all the names.

Second at the time I wrote it I was going out with a girl who I nicknamed Cleopatra because of her great love of snakes (not a  euphanism btw, she's just really into reptiles) and meant the character as a sort of homage dedication thing to her but apparently it turns out writing stories about strangely named characters in fantasy worlds DOESN'T help with getting laid :P

So yeah... in the next one I'm going to shorten it to Leo and work in a small explanation of how he changed his name and faked his death for tax reasons...

I say go for it. I'll love to offer a more thorough review, but I don't trust my sleepy brain to do so right now. Once I'm done dealing with some things, I will try to come back to this.

While the first story was fine, I think to turn it into a series, the first story needs to be a little stronger - maybe you could have some backdrop of the sailor and crew getting their boat (and the better choices you make, the better you are placed at the start). Then you might expand certain decisions so that you lose a varying number of crew/food depending on your next choices to escape. 

Having said that, the only series I really read on here is the Homo Perfectus one, so maybe I've just been spoiled, heh. Still, to have a good sequel you usually need a very strong starting story, unless of course you write it so the sequel can be read as a separate story without having read the first.

Personally, I do like the idea of a series. I like the recurring characters and the chances for further character development. I like new characters showing up and interacting with the main character.

Oh, and I like words... :)

Ok, I think I'm going to work on the series :) Thanks for all the very helpful feedback everyone :D

Yay!