So while I am working on something entirely different, this that I present to you will likely not go anywhere. Still, it came to me suddenly and I wondered if it had been done here before, and if so if someone could point me in the direction of said thing. I've also seen the criticism going around in these forums and I want me a piece of that, because often finding ruthless, quality criticism is like finding a unicorn in the wild. Thanks.
A high pitched ringing hangs in your ears as you slowly realise the harsh, cold concrete that presses heavily into the right hand side of your face. Grimacing, you roll yourself against it before your closed eyes sense light and you flinch, your head pounding a steady rhythm in time with the heartbeat that floods your body. You grit your teeth and wait for the ebb and flow of discomfort to subside.
It takes several moments, but eventually you are able to plant your hands against the cold, hard ground and push yourself into a kneeling position. You rub your temples with both hands, trying to ease away the gritty remainders of haze that hangs before your mind. You feel around for a wall, one of which thankfully you find, and you sit against it upright as things slowly begin to swim into focus.
You are in a cubed room, measuring what you estimate to be around six metres in length, breadth and height. The walls are formed of the same material as the floor, a completely smooth, grey concrete that is remarkably cool to the touch. Hanging from centre of the ceiling by a half meter length of wire is a naked bulb which is sufficient to light every inch of the room effectively.
You are not alone in this room. You count six other people of varying descriptions lying in various states of unconsciousness around you. Nearest you is a well built man, with dark skin and hair shaved short, who like you appears to be suffering from head pains as he rests his head in his hands. Next you spot an old lady, her hair is curly and her clothes are floral. You are almost certain you can smell a potent perfume aroma wafting from her direction. She is yet to wake. Near her is a woman of Asian descent, dressed in a formal business-like suit. She too remains unconscious, though already something about her feels formidable.
On the other side of the room, another three people lie, two of whom are emerging from their rest. An oddly disproportional man is among their number, stubble lining his weak jaw line and two piggy eyes glinting in the harsh light of the room. His stomach is remarkably bloated while the rest of his body seems twig thin. He looks pale, as if about to vomit. The other is a woman, hair matted and greasy, nails chipped, teeth tea stained and crooked. She does not seem to have had the same painful experience as the rest of you are clearly displaying, in fact she is sitting relaxed in the corner of the room. In your half-awake state it takes a moment for you to process exactly what it is about this woman that puts your on edge. Then you realise: she is the only person in the room smiling.
The final occupant of the room cannot be much older than sixteen, maybe seventeen. She looks malnourished, her cheek bones stick out at such angles it's almost a concern that they might pierce the skin. She is far too thin, her clothing hanging like bags over her form. She isn't wearing any shoes, unlike everyone else, and the bottom of her feet are layered with calluses. A groan from your right draws your attention from your observations.
"Where the hell is this, man?" the large man you noted first asks wearily, clearly expecting you to have answers.
"I-" you stammer, trying to piece together some satisfactory answer, "I have no idea."
"Well shit," he leans his head back against the wall, and falls silent.
"Can someone here tell me where the goddamn mother lovin' fuck I am?"
The remark came from the pale man with the odd stature, his accent a thick, American drawl. He is sweating profusely, though seems to have no trouble making himself heard. You grimace as the impact of his volume strikes you like hammers.
"Could you keep it down?" the business-like lady murmurs, rolling herself into an uncomfortable sitting position.
"Oh, I am most sorry darlin', am I disturbing your pretty lil' beauty sleep there?" he growls, all too loud for your liking, before calling out "Wakey wakey all! Wake up you lazy fucks!"
"Man, seriously?" the man to your right sighs, "could you, just, not do that?"
"Well, I don't see no one in here reactin' to the immediate predicament with none of the, say, 'enthusiasm' I would be appreciatin' right about now, to answer your question 'Mr Black Man' in the corner there."
Despite your dislike of the method, the strategy achieved its goal. Everyone in the room is now awake.
"Look, everyone just shut up a minute." The business woman is now taking a step further than the rest of you and is trying to raise herself unsteadily against the wall. Her shoes lie at her feet, as she has clearly opted to try this feat without the high heels. She reaches full height has a look around. "Now, does anyone have any idea what is going on, or where we are?"
A wave of welcome silence envelops the room.
"Well, ain't that dandy," the American pouts.
The business woman sighs, "Well, can we at least put some names to faces? I'm Nori."
"Jack," the American states.
"Caleb," says the man to your right.
"My name is Joan," the elderly lady adds.
"I-I'm Lilac," the teen mumbles.
You throw your name into the heap too, "Simon."
"And you, crazy-in-the-corner?" Jack asks, turning to the grinning woman who has not yet spoken.
"You can't see how they see," she smiles, eyes bright with something resembling glee, "but they do, they always do, that's the game!"
"Alrighty then," he responds, turning back to the rest of you, "I think I'm gonna call her bat-shit."
Nori looks at him scathingly, but nonetheless offers no argument.
"Well," Caleb speaks up to break the new silence, "one thing's for sure. We aren't getting out of here any time soon without a door."
The words are simple, but the impact is great, and it resonates. He is right, there does not appear to be any doorway in or out of the room.
