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JANE

The rain rattled softly against the window pane as Jane snuggled down into a deep arm chair and prepared to read her book. Flicking through the pages, she reached her bookmark and had just begun to read when she thought she heard a tapping on the window. Thinking she was hearing things, Jane just ignored it and kept on reading. The next time, however, there was a definite tapping on the window and so, replacing her book mark, she went to investigate.

Opening the front door, which was just next to the window in question, Jane peered out into the cold, wet garden, which was lit up intermittently by flashes of lightning from the dark sky. Finding no one there, she turned and walked back into the warmth of her home, putting it down as a figment of her imagination.

Jane had just sat down and curled herself into a cat-like ball, to recommence reading, when from the kitchen window at the back of the house came another soft tapping. Slowly she rose to her feet and, arming herself with a poker from the fire place, she crept towards the back door.

As the lightning flashed and the thunder roared, Jane slid her way across the vinyl like a ghost over the ground. Trying to stay calm, Jane slowly turned the door handle and peeped out through the crack of the slightly open door. All she could see, however, were the dark shadows of trees blowing in the wind, which had become quite strong, and began to lash the rain against the side of the house.

Closing the door, Jane returned to the lounge room, but instead of continuing with her book, she just sat - huddled up - and listened. There it was again, this time back at the front again. Jane was hit by a sudden cold flash.

Leaping from her chair, she ran throughout the house. She locked every door and bolted every window. She turned on all the lights and drew all the curtains. Jane returned to the lounge, and wiping the cold sweat from her palms, glanced around the room for other means of self-defence beside the poker. She found a long-handled letter opener on her desk and, with that and the poker, she proceeded slowly toward the door.

A couple of metres from the entry, Jane panicked, flew at the door and flung it open. There stood before her a figure. Dropping to her knees, she let out a shriek and, covering her face with one hand, swung the poker wildly with the other.

"Evening, ma'am," said the figure. "Constable Davis from the local CIB. We've had reports of prowlers in the area. Just checking to see you were alright. Didn't think anyone was home, no-one would answer my tapping."

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Horror seems to be on the agenda so this is my first little foray into it - by that, I mean this is the first bit of writing directly intended to make someone uneasy. I'd like to draw particular attention to the ending and the weather. I've tried to make it as too the point and stripped down as possible - I feel like that in itself should contribute to the atmosphere. In addition, I don't think flowery language really helps.

1. Is it scary/unnerving?
2. What's some advice for horror writing?
3. What would you recommend as a truly scary/disturbing read? Not talking about edgy shit.
^some general guiding questions

Here's some general suggestions I would offer for writing horror:

1) Stakes

A reader wants to know why they care.  Who is this woman, and why is her fear meaningful to me?  I care just as a fellow human being, but all I know is that she likes to do some snuggly-reading.  It's hard to get buy-in from a reader, period; getting a reader to care about a fictional person's fear is even harder, possibly the hardest.

Therefore, we need to answer the "who cares?' question.  We could answer it by showing us more about her, showing what makes her interesting.  We could have more emotional information about her fears and hopes and anxieties and desires, if we want to go that way. 

2) Vulnerability and anxiety.

A reader wants to perceive where weaknesses are.  We'll see them, and get anxious about it.  Show us the broken door lock. Show us her weak shoulder joint.  Show us her addiction to pain medication.  Show us that she forgot to put batteries in the smoke detector.

If you watch movies carefully, sometimes you'll see that a writer will, during a scene of an argument, create an effect that raises the anxiety level--a teapot starts boiling and whistling for a long time.  A phone will ring over and over.   A dog starts whining.  A baby will cry.  These tap into primal anxiety, and they create anxiety in a reader or viewer.

3)  Go on an adjective/adverb diet.

In horror, see what happens if you omit "cold" sweat; "cat-like ball"; "dark" shadows, and replace with "sweat"; "ball;" "shadows"; etc.  Sometimes the pace can flag if you don't let the nouns and verbs propel you and you get caught up in adjective/adverb land.  The reader can sometimes bounce of the surface of the text, when what you want is a bit more narrative momentum.  Not saying don't describe, just that sometimes adjectives and adverbs can bog.