"Don't be afraid," said your mother. Blood formed beads on her face and her tears formed pools of agony. The image of war, the sudden urge to kill, has never been so potent. This is a story that informs you that not all stories have a happy ending. Based in Afghanistan, a story created for EndMaster's culture clash contest, and we intend to expand the story after that is over.

We apologize for the bad grammar, we ran out of time to proofread. Feel free to tear it apart and we hope you have fun reading it! (For fun you can try to guess which parts stargirl wrote and which parts Abgeofriends wrote)

Edit, I have fixed a few things but mainly want to re-post this because I want to.

You play as the new Empress Vira in the kingdom of Magnicollis with her horse Cupcake. Your mother has just died and you have to take the crown. Stay loyal to your horse and try not to kill everyone in your kingdom... or do. 

This is an entrey for Endmaster's prompt contest. I got the prompt "A story of a lunatic empress... with a fondness for horses." I didn't spend very much time writing it and I didn't have time to proofread, but hopefully it's still decent enough to be enjoyable. 

Edit: I fixed the horse pronouns because I was bored in class. 

Just writing things when I'm bored. Putting it here because it's the only good writing site, and I might change this into an actual story later. :)

Just a fun little project for when I'm bored. Experimenting with poetry.

I wish I could, but I neither have money, alcohol, or availability in the chosen time. :(

Ah, I see. It has been like two years since I was on there, and when I was it wasn't very exclusive. 

contribute and be likable

For once I agree with Bezro. This is my vote as well. 

I finally clicked the link. My username is unfoldedorigami because stargirl was already taken. 

It's honestly sad how many kids in my grade use AI to do all of their assignments. They're all so stupid. 

To prove your writing skills you would need to have some. 

If you want Mizal's approval, the last thing you should be doing is posting more stories. 

"I've never wrote anything passable in my time on the site"

First of all, it should be "written" and not "wrote". Second of all, if you wanted to prove yourself, why would you even include the last two? At leat the second one was bearable. (Well, I only read the first few sentances, but they didn't make me want to punch you in the face any more than I already do.)

"And most if not all were written after I joined"

There should be commas bracketing "if not all". The lack of grammar knowledge in just the intro paragraph doesn't bode well for the actual stories. I was going to critique all four of the stories actually, but after reading the first one I decided I didn't want to torture myself any longer. I will point out a few things in your first story though, if only because I already read it and don't want it to be a complete waste of my time. 

I forget where, but you used the wrong its. It's means it is. I know you're in middle school, but you learn this in like second grade. Also, you mangled up your comma usage. You seem like the kind of person who doesn't pay attention in school and then complains about not knowing anything, so I'll be nice and give you a few examples. 

"Looking down I see a shaft of wood sticking out of my stomach, and look for my assailant."

There are two mistakes here (three if you count you being born). I would put a comma after "looking down". That's an introductory phrase. "I see a shaft of wood sticking out of my stomach" would be a full sentance on its own. (see how I used the right form of its there? It's that easy.) I guess technically, according to a quick google search, you don't need a comma there, but I'm too lazy to delete all this. However, you should definitly take out the comma after "stomach". You would only need a comma there if the clause after "and" was indepandant. "look for my assailant" doesn't have a subject; therfore, no comma is needed. Additionally, you used a form of look twice in one sentance. Have you ever heard of a thesaurus? 

"No, the night had not set a close to bloodshed, it ushered in another round. A feeling of anxiety fills my heart and I draw my sword, preparing for another battle."

You switched tenses. Also, the gramar is atrocious. You can't just put a comma inbetween two independant clauses. Either use a semicolon or add one of the FANBOYS (for and nor but or yet so). You made the same mistake in the next sentance. Adding "and" between two indepandant clauses doesn't solve anything. You need a comma. 

I will admit, this story was bearable until paragraph three, but then it stopped being enertaining in the slightest. I went from "meh, this is okay" to "this is shit" to "huh?" to "What the actual fuck is going on?". For future refernce, you can't just rip an arrow out the way it came. The head will likey break off and be stuck in your body. 

"They were no longer the creatures that I saw first however, they were changing into… women?"

Again, you put two indepentat clauses together with a comma. To make it even worse, there should a comma in front of "however". You could then change the comma after however to a semicolon, and the sentance would work. Well, grammatically at least. I still have no idea why they're truning into women. 

At this point I would like to remind you that proofreading something exists. Even if you were just really bad at catching garmmar mistakes, you would've at least caught this: "I don;t find her hand".

You know what, I changed my mind. This story wasn't even bearable in the first paraghraph. There's literaly a grammatical error in almost every single sentance. That's impressively bad. It doesn't even read smoothly. The sentances are awkward and weird. Your tenses and tone are inconsistant. The writing itself is lazy and lacks anything that would make a good story. The idea and the exicution are both equally poor. I've not even sure what the idea was. This isn't a story. It's a poorly typed up fever dream. 

I like Ogre too.