A New Prophecy

Hey! Nice try for your first story game. I can see that you did put some effort in. I have a few things for you to improve on for your next game.

Firstly, I recommend you do not make your story game in parts. Games like this are kind of annoying, and from what I've seen, almost none of the members promising a second part have actually followed through. If you want some feedback on your game early, how about private messaging an experienced member and ask them to read it?

Secondly, you should always proofread your work. There were a few grammar mistakes and I'm certain if you had read through your work some more or even asked someone else to you would be able to improve the quality of the story drastically. You might even get some more inspiration by reading over your work again.

Lastly, your story game was rather linear. There were not many choices, and adding more was hindered by the shortness of your story. A linear story can get very tedious and it is far more fun to read a story that lets you decide quite a lot of the events. You can even make it look like the person is choosing a majority of the story when in reality it all joins to the same page in the end, although I don't recommend that.

Congrats on making your story game, and I hope you are able to take my advice into consideration! :D

Hm, a good level of detail here but it's a bit linear until we get to the five cats option and you really like capitalisation but overall it's quite a well written story.

I would suggest not splitting it into parts but instead just taking the time to work through all of them together, it's a bit off-putting when as soon as the story starts to branch out it suddenly ends :) If you can maintain this level of quality and keep working on it this could be a really great story, what you've got so far is great but it's incomplete. 5/8

An ok introduction but what it leads to is a choice of what character you want to play as, which doesn't effect the game at all then after that it gives you two choices which both end the game. Decent idea but needs to be longer 2/8

Nay. 2/8

Yay