Player Comments on Ever Been Chased By A Dinosaur

What's up guys, it's ya boi Siyu back at it again with another review!

(Spoiler warning)

I found this story to quite an enjoyable read.

The puzzles I felt could've been a little bit harder so as to not simply be 'Go to Point A then Point B' but they were competently scripted and had the story deftly woven into them. My favourite joke was the blackmail one, right at the end. Characterisation of the MC was well-done, he's sufficiently annoying and the lines where he's thinking of how to make the video more appealing is a nice touch, it really helps to sell that this guy is a vlogger who's been doing this since childhood. I liked that there were multiple ways to complete certain dares in ways that made sense, such as the capture a dinosaur sleeping one. Regardless of how you completed each dare, the author takes the time to make it feel rewarding and considering this story is the second contest entry you've submitted in a 2(?) month period, impressive work.

Now, onto the negatives.

As I mentioned earlier, the MC is meant to be a caricature of a YouTuber, so the story will parody and somewhat exaggerate a YouTuber's commentary throughout to make fun of them. However, the amount of times this happens in the story is excessive to the point where it goes from mildly amusing to grating as you're essentially forced to sit through segments of a YouTube vlog multiple times. I think a better way to do this would either to exaggerate the dialogue more or to reduce the amount you write these sections into the story.

Speaking more on the humour, this story relies heavily on meta humour most notably in the part where Juras 'infodumps' onto the reader. I get that he thinks he's speaking to his daughter and that it's part of the intended humour here, but to get to this page I already have to read a book where he tells me all this info anyway. It's both a joke that goes on too long and makes you go through something you already know, it could've benefited from being shorter is what I'm saying.

I didn't notice any SPAG errors and it's a decent length. Definitely worth a read. 5/8.

Best game i've seen so far. Maybe give a secret "L is for Loser" ending to those who just keep waiting?

For the second story written by the same author for Endmaster's Prompt contest 5, this is a particularly impressive wordcount and technical complexity. While Evan, the protag gets a little annoying, and it is possible to fall into endless loops, the story itself is engaging and impressive.

The secrets of the island are well hidden enough that even after finding the keycard and wallet, I still could not find a way across the quicksand, which is where I presume the secret lab must be located. There is clever usage of items, although this storygame has the same issue as many with heavy item use. It is too tempting to simply try to use every item on every page.

There are few SPAG issues, although there are some missing words scattered here and there, but not enough to really impact readability. The hashtag line on the Awards page seems to be doubled for no reason. The story would benefit from another editing/proofreading pass, but really remarkable for being the second story written during the contest by the same author.

Spoilers ahead. Read at your own risk.

PROS: I did find the YouTuber reference to be amusing, and in line with the "tryhard" entertainment a lot of these content creators exhibit. Watching Jurassic park as a kid, I've always wondered what it would be like to be on a island with dinosaurs. The "dare" task list was an amusing way to set goals, and I did find the "touch grass" option to be amusing. Finding the wallet and keys and exploring other areas made this feel like a genuine exploration game, to the extent where I was curious to see where it would lead next. This is the type of interactive adventure I could see as being an amusement park of some kind.

CONS: So there were a couple of links that felt unnecessary, for example on the front page when it says "I need hints!" and then says there are none. Why even have the link then? Spamming the "keep waiting" simply leads to passive aggressive responses like "seriously you're still here, stop wasting your time, ect." Generally speaking sometimes clicking the same link a couple of times does lead to an amusing conclusion, so did it occur to you to simply not waste the readers time or your own, say something like "you get bored and wander off deciding this isn't the dinosaur to spend your time on" with a previous page link? Some of the "dares" such as eating leaves, could be seen as pointless when he item could have been obtained simply by picking the leaf due to how pretty it is.

I would have rated this a five, given the quality was very good for a newcomer. However, in part due to having higher expectations after your previous storygame and in part due to SoecialOlympic's desperation rivaling that of a paraplegic prostitute in the comments section, my final rating is 4/8

The points literally do nothing, lmao.

This should be featured.