Cyclonis, The Contributor
12/2/2023 10:02 AM
0 wins / 0 losses
It's time to launch myself into greatness here.
Step 1: get myself on the Sage's leaderboard.
Step 2: Get out of the SHAME PIT
Step 3: Write or something????
This is the SEASON OF CYCLONIS. WITNESS ME!
A Grand Life on Gert
Three games in one.
Furry Concentration Camp
Recent PostsRyder being a pretentious retarded faggot again on 11/23/2023 2:10:15 PM
I think there's some good lessons on character crafting to be found here. The OP, without using a lot of words, has managed to present himself as a truely funny but also deeply unlikeable and disturbing individual who is unable to restrain his mental illness, it spills out from behind the cracks of every sentence like a swarm of baby spiders from his mother's privates. Much like a demon possessed cleaver wielding clown, were he to approach my family in the flesh I would not hesitate a moment to protect them with lethal force. 8/8 for characters, 2/8 for plot. I give the guy a 4 overall.
Giant All Purpose IF Review Thread on 11/23/2023 2:02:26 PM
I looked this up and the UI and art style is pretty nice. Something about the title itself irritates me though, it's truly too hard to be poppy and modern which is at odds with a text based game about a centuries old legend with nice muted water color art. I'm not saying something generic like "Legends of Sherwood" would've been a great thing, but at least people would know what the game was about.
Obligatory Thanksgiving thread on 11/23/2023 1:59:01 PM
We are attending a shrimp boil with my uncle's family. I'm not a huge fan of a lot of the Thanksgiving sides anyway, and we get all those at Christmas when we journey to my grandma's house. Twice a year is just too much.
The Damned and the SHAMED on 11/8/2023 7:40:35 PM
I surrender. I've identified a real problem with getting excited about story ideas and then not following through past the first chunk or two of writing I do on them. I like to think I'll still finish this one since I was proud of the mystery I came up with and the way of discovering it, but it won't be for the contest.
THUNDERDOME on 10/28/2023 1:32:38 PM
Fair, I think I'd rather duel WizzyCat or Darkspawn for a real challenge anyway.
The Damned and the SHAMED on 10/28/2023 1:30:06 PM
A small thank you. on 10/28/2023 1:29:02 PM
She worked so hard for those points.
Thunderdome 9: Wizzy vs Darkspawn on 10/26/2023 6:28:12 PM
Good job to both of you and congrats to Darkspawn.
The Sands of Time on 10/26/2023 6:26:03 PM
Thanks for explaining what was supposed to be going on in your story! I’m aware you wrote it quickly, that's why most of my post was made up of suggestions for improvements on a second draft. I’m sorry you didn’t like that. I notice you just looked at someone else’s story and then just said you hated it with no other information, I guess that’s more your personal style. Who even are you. Hi, I’m Cyclonis! I’m a guy on a writing site where users and mods like to claim that blunt and detailed criticism is welcome, even encouraged. I don’t think I need permission to respond to things posted on a public forum. Who are you? And how old are you? I really don't care. The tone of your entire response speaks to the contrary. I'm just writing however I feel like writing, and if it's not how you would write a sentence well....big fucking deal. The Help section here actually has some really good articles that will tell you how to structure a sentence, you should read them sometime if you refuse to hear it from anyone else. But saying you know a story has problems and that you didn’t care enough to fix them doesn’t protect it from criticism. Not on this site. Sure you can type whatever words in whatever order you want, no one is stopping you. But it’s on the writer to communicate their ideas. You can’t “choose” your own “style” of punctuation and grammar or use unclear wording and then get mad when people who can’t read your mind don’t know what the fuck you’re trying to say. For the rest of the English speaking world, sentences DO have a structure by the way. The punctuation is there as a part of that and it's all based on rules, not your feelings. But since you obviously have a lot of those, I'll just say that at its simplest level, a sentence requires a subject and an action, and leave it at that. Jesus wept.
THUNDERDOME on 10/26/2023 6:21:39 PM
I won't be available this weekend, but I'd like to challenge @corgi213 for next time.