Forums » Writing Workshop » Read Thread

And as I mentioned in the Paradise Fortress update, here's the new story idea. The plan is to once again try to make a shorter story so I can get back to working on PF. Sometimes the ideas just compel you work on something immediately though. Plus, I want to release another story, its been awhile.

Soulless

With nothing to lose, only madness remains

TR 11 (Time of Reaping)

“Hey get up.”

“Go away, I’m fucking sleeping.” you answer.

“No you’re not, you haven’t been sleeping for days you mad bastard, and you’re awake enough to answer me. Now get the fuck up, someone’s screaming. I know you can hear it.”

You get up.

“And take your axe, who knows what the fuck is going on out there.”

You exit from your domicile with your axe in hand.

“Hm, those are some wonderful cries of pain, that really takes me back. Did I ever tell you about the time when that old degenerate Casimir approached me about the Eternal project? The women we had to…”

“Yes and shut up uncle.”

You’re assuming that it’s another undead attack, perhaps the final one given the screams coming from within the compound. You notice that the gates are open, but there aren’t hordes of corpses shambling around, so you aren’t sure what the hell is going on, though a few of your people are already gathered at the domicile where the screaming is coming from.

It’s Marzost’s home so you head over there immediately. Did the glorious leader finally go completely babbling mad? He’s still younger than the rest of you for that to be a major issue even if it can vary from dero to dero.

“Marzost huh? No wonder the screams sounded like a woman. He’s got that cursed svelk blood in him. All those babies you got are gonna be more feminine in general what with all the svelk fucking you lot were doing. I would weep for our future generations of male dero if there was a future.”

Meanwhile you get the pleasure of your dead uncle Marik talking to you all the time. Even though it’s just your mind steadily succumbing to the madness, you sometimes swear that he’s actually talking to you as a spirit.

But of course that’s quite impossible given that your race has no souls. You’re empty shells as it is, no wonder most of your race has already embraced the death consuming the world. Sometimes the madness is about the only way to tell you’re still alive.

“Madness ain’t all bad son, you get lots of insight that you might never have had before. For example, you got me to talk to, your always supportive uncle Marik to give you sound advice since we both know you’re not the brightest.”

You ignore your “uncle”’, after all he’s been dead for decades now ever since he got killed in a troll training accident shortly after he left working for the Empire. If he's so smart why is he dead?

When you finally get to Marzost’s house, you see Marzost on the floor holding on to what’s left of his cock that’s still attached to his body. The rest of it is lying nearby in puddle of blood mixed with other fluids.

He’s currently crying and bellowing something about his mom and doing a lot of apologizing and asking “Why?”

“Well, can’t say I was expecting that, but what an amusing surprise this is! Hah!”

You see Dakzat and a few others standing nearby just shaking their heads.

“What the hell happened?” you ask Dakzat.

“This dumb ass was thinking with his dick and lost it.” She answers.

“What? How?”

“Well considering I briefly saw a naked female svelk running her black ass out the front gate by the time I got out of the nursery, I’d say that Semra bitch did this to him. I knew dealing with her was a terrible idea.”

“Shit.”

“I told you that you should have took the opportunity to kill that bitch as soon as you saw her. Casimir was a fucking idiot for letting her into his inner circle. Looks like so was Marzost. Why the hell did you follow him again?”

Because you’re a rare idealistic dero that THOUGHT you might try to avoid death and he seemed to have a plan of how to do it. You’d chalk that delusion up to your encroaching madness as well, but really it’s just the disease of idiots.

“I’m actually more pissed that he left the fucking gate open the whole time. Damn horde could have marched in here and killed all of us.” Glastilda remarks.

“At this point would it matter? Obviously whatever deal Marzost had with the svelk is over. We can’t get off this world and we can’t survive the endless hordes of the dead. We might as well just go up to the surface and embrace the inevitable, our race is dead anyway.” Girsouk says.

“He’s got a point, but isn’t someone going to do something about that screaming? It was pleasant before, but now it’s just getting boring and annoying.”

“What?! We’ve managed to survive this long, there HAS to still be a way!” Dakzat shouts.

“HOW? Even if we did figure out something, there’s not enough of us left anymore!” Girsouk says.

“We have a nursery full of babies did you forget about them?”

“Yeah, about what twenty or so helpless sprogs that can’t contribute in any meaningful way and won’t get the chance to with death rapidly approaching. Shit, we don’t even know if any of them would be fertile and if they were, who fucking knows if they would pass on more dero blood or the svelk blood coursing through their veins! It was fucking over as soon as we started using svelk bitches as breeding stock.”

“Alright nephew, its obvious these lot aren’t going to take care of the most important thing first, so it’s up to you.”

“Pfft. If you felt that way Girs you sure didn’t say anything when you were enthusiastically volunteering to mate with said bitches on multiple occasions.” Dakzat snorts.

“I was doing my duty for the race, like a good dero! But I can see now that it was fucking pointless. Like I said, even if there’s some way of avoiding the inevitable, we won’t be able to achieve this impossible task with only eight of us left!”

Your axe splits Marzost’s skull in two finally shutting up his screaming as well as everyone else’s arguing. For a moment there’s a dead silence as the rest look at you pulling your axe out.

“Seven of us.” You say.

“Great. So how’s that help us?” Girsouk asks.

“It created a momentary period of silence so I could have clarity to think.”

“And?”

“Good question nephew, do you have any idea? No, of course you fucking don’t. You’re not a thinker. That’s why you always chose more of a warrior’s path like your dumbass father and didn’t listen when I TRIED to instill the importance of SCIENCE into your brain. Well your current situation can’t be resolved by just swinging an axe into its head.”

“And…Dakzat’s right, we’ve gotten this far. No reason now to just give up, maybe we can get that portal up and running somehow. We were the masters of technology on this world. Surely there’s something in one of those old manuals we got that has untested inventions, insane theories and all that shit. None of us has gone completely barmy yet that we can’t function within the time we DO have left, so I say put our heads together and try to figure out how to get off this fucking world.”

With that surprisingly inspiring speech, you manage to give some sort of…well “hope” might be too strong of a word, perhaps rededication to survival for the ones that were ready to just give up.

“Hm, well got beat down this long, might as well go out that way I guess. I’ll start looking through the big book of inventions before the collapse. Maybe there’s something there, I dunno. ” Girsouk says as most start leaving Marzost’s domicile to join him.

Dakzat stays behind to address you.

“Thanks for the assistance there. Pretty sure everyone here just wants to pack it in at this point and honestly I’d probably be on board with it too, but I just feel like with the sprogs…well just doesn’t seem right to not at least TRY to give them a chance at life, even if its going to shitty one.” She says.

“Yeah well, there’s no reason they shouldn’t suffer like the rest of us.” You reply.

“Heh. So…we should probably burn this dickless idiot before he returns as a corpse. I can help you carry him over to fire pit.”

“Yeah okay thanks.”

Dakzat picks up Marzost’s feet and you pick him up by the shoulders as part of his brain matter slops out of his axe sized head wound. Doesn’t take long before you both transport him to the pit and light him up.

Dakzat remarks that she’s going to go back to the nursery to check on the sprogs, meanwhile you decide to just watch Marzost burn for a bit. Enjoy the quiet again.

“Nice speech nephew, looks like they all believed it more than you actually do.”

“You can’t shut up for just a moment?”

“Of course not, insanity doesn’t take a break boy. Don’t worry, your torment will soon come to an end.”

“Not soon enough apparently.”

“Well you’re the stubborn one insisting on surviving to the bitter end. Oh all right, I’ll shut up for a bit, I’m enjoying watching Marzost’s carcass burn up too. Hey maybe we’ll get a surprise and he’ll reanimate before he burns up completely.”

You spend a lot of time watching Marzost burn, but he never reanimates. Eventually you get bored and finally go close the front gates, which despite having remained open all this time, no horde has come wandering in to finish you all off.

 “Of course I wouldn’t get that lucky.” You mutter.

Time passes…

I know it's traditional to never look at the forum, but I think even a few of the apathetic Discord faggots might get excited about this one.

The fact that nobody else on the site has written about derro despite them being ripe for edgy grimdark fantasy made me realize how many other races have gone untapped.

Also really have to wonder how many times derro have appeared anywhere at all as protagonists lol. A quick search on their status today and it seems like the official versions really didn't survive the update to 5e well, I see people complaining about how they removed a lot of their lore and made them really generic.

The commentary from the dead uncle seems like it's going to be fun.

Exciting stuff. Hopefully with End also starting a story the competitors (me included) will feel motivated to write.

How's it coming? Looking forward to another Endmasterpiece.

Unfortunately not as far along as I want due to real life. Nothing bad, just you know shit that must take priority. (The struggle) Though seeing as I mentioned this only a month ago, I'm probably ahead of the game more so than I usually am when writing a story.

Fortunately I've been forming the outline of the story branches in my head while at work, which is good since I needed to flesh out the concept more. Right now I got at least 3 different major storylines and more or less how they're going to go since I have been writing down concept notes as I come up with them. Actually planning to start binge writing today after I take care of some other stuff. (Hopefully)

I wasn't trying to make this one an overly long story (Though that always seems to happen to some degree) and my plan for this one was to finish it within this year at least. And THEN focus all my attention for the Paradise Violated sequel which I'm also semi-working on at the same time (Insanity!) since Paradise Fortress is definitely going to take awhile.

Nope, haven't forgotten and since it was brought up, here's a sample.

Tasteful

That troll is still between you and the exit and all it has to do is turn its head a bit to vomit on you because you probably won’t be fast enough to completely avoid it. Even if your armor protects you, that’s not going to stop the troll from following up its attack and you wouldn’t even have your axe anymore since it’s currently in the cage.

The only thing that can save you is that torch which you’re going to get. You force your way into the cage opening, breaking few more of the bone barriers in the process and immediately grab at the torch held by the creature.

It and a couple of the others all begin to scream at you and even hit at your armor with no effect. Having no time for this nonsense, you punch out the creature and take the torch from it. It falls unconscious to the ground.

About this time the troll has finished with his regurgitation process and unleashes its innards. Being in the cage there isn’t anywhere to really go, as exiting the way you came in will just have you bear the full brunt of this acidic substance. While your armor might protect you, you still need to protect the fire. Not much point in all this only for troll bile to put out your salvation.

Fortunately there’s extra protection to be found.

You quickly grab one of the creatures still screaming at you and lift it up as a literal meat shield while you attempt to keep the torch behind you.

The gout of vomit first melts through the bone cage easily, then proceeds to hit the creature you’re using a as shield.  The screams of the creature as it melts in your hand are pretty horrible. You can smell the burning flesh as the creature eventually loses so much internal cohesion that you can’t even hold it up anymore since it’s liquefied too much.

“Hah! That was a good one!”

While this certainly protected you for the most part, some of the vomit still hit you and you’ve definitely got more than a few holes in your armor now and a good portion of the armored arm that was holding up the goblin is mostly destroyed, to say nothing of your gauntlet. You’ve also got a wicked vomit burn up and down your hand and arm that’s never going to heal, but you’re alive at least.

The vomit was wide spread enough though that it also hit the other two creatures though not quite as badly to melt them into goo, but they’re certainly rolling on the ground in pain. One of them doesn’t have a face left and desperately trying to grab at it while making gurgling noises, but he also doesn’t have any hands left either to do that.

You grab that particular creature and exit the cage, using the torch you light him up and with all your strength you toss the burning bloody creature at the troll who is just recovering from his vomit attack.

The creature hits the troll and happily it’s enough to light him up as well. The troll’s demeanor has now completely changed to one of fear as it desperately attempts to put out the flames on its chest. Meanwhile the creature is now out of its misery having bounced off the troll and now burning in a mushy heap on the ground.

Wasting no time, you run back to get the other creature who is quietly dying from its severe wounds. It makes no attempt to stop you from picking it up and also lighting it on fire. There is no screaming from this one since it doesn’t have a jaw or vocal cords left.

This one only hits the troll’s legs, but between its upper and now lower body on fire, it’s all enough to cause the creature to run off bellowing in agony. You can only hope that the flames really do finish it off since you’re certainly not catching it.

With now two mushy heaps of burning flesh on the ground, you find a good place to prop up the torch and figure it’s enough fire that will keep the troll at bay in case it does survive and decide to wander back.

You head to the remains of the cage and retrieve your axe and then examine the creature you knocked out earlier. No burn marks, managed to avoid any vomit hitting it though that’s probably due to being low to the ground and you being in front of it when the troll spewed its guts out. Still breathing too. You also notice a couple pieces of flint near it. Must have been what it used to make the fire.

“Looks like this might be your lucky day nephew. Got yourself a female.”

“What?”

“A female boy! Can’t you see the tits? I mean granted they’re small, but then again this creature whatever it is, is also small. Though I suppose you should check the lower half since that would make a difference and all on the baby making part.”

In all the chaos you sort of failed to notice that the creature was topless (Probably used that bit of clothing to help create the torch) and now that your uncle has helpfully pointed out, you are noticing the creature does have breasts.

Following your uncle’s advice, you take the next step and strip off what little lower half clothing it’s wearing and soon learn that it is indeed female based on the anatomy.

“Whoa, that’s a lot of bushy green hair! Sprogs are gonna need scythes to get out of there! Hah! Guess we at least know its past puberty thankfully.”

And now you’re currently standing over an unconscious naked female. It’s been awhile since you’ve been in this situation. Usually they’re still awake and struggling. (And screaming)

Not that it really makes a difference the scheme of things, but what is different is that you’re completely alone with no help. There isn’t a system in place to keep this female in place during the whole pregnancy period which you don’t even know how long is going to take since this thing isn’t one of the races you’ve encountered before.

Also there’s nobody here to take care of the sprog after it’s born. If you’re lucky the female could survive the process and perform this task, but that’s a really risky endeavor that would require some conditioning to make sure she didn’t just try to run off with it or even kill it. (Svelks in particular were infamous for this when given the chance)

Normally communication wouldn’t even be an issue, you’d just do your thing and not think anymore of it, but if you’re going to have to have an extended period of interaction with this creature while it carries your offspring, you’re going to have to communicate since more direct physical methods of intimidation could endanger the offspring.

And this is just some of the issues going through your mind.

You shake your head at the logistics of all this.

“Shit.” You utter and kick some nearby bones.

“Well nobody said this was going to be easy nephew. You’re fathering the entire fucking race.”

Indeed.

You walk outside the remains of the cage and look around the troll’s lair. Not much here and it’s pretty terrible as a “base” of sorts, but it’ll have to do for now. You do find a few bits of broken equipment lying about that can at least get you started. And bones, so many bones.

First thing you need to do is build a new cage.

Time passes…

The creature wakes up rubbing its head and finds itself in a newly built and definitely more secure cage. It sees you sitting nearby the and immediately reacts with hostility, attempting to pull at the bones. You sigh a bit hoping it might be a little more scared, but this one’s going to take some breaking in. Still that might be a good sign that it might survive the birthing process if it has this much fight in it.

You enter the cage and give it a good backhand with your unarmored hand. You then grab it by the throat and look at it in the eyes.

“I know you can’t understand what I’m saying, but you will in time. You are also going to tell me everything about this world and act as a guide. There have to be more of your kind here so I will definitely need to know their whereabouts too.”

The creature despite probably believing that its life is about to be taken continues to struggle in vain. It tries to get free along with some weak punches at your head, which you don’t even bother to dodge most of the time.

“However, your main purpose for now is to be a vessel of sorts and I guarantee you WILL understand that process.”

You begin to explore the creature’s naked body with one of your hands. Now the creature looks genuinely shocked as if she wasn’t expecting THIS of all things. There’s a fear that is now definitely there that wasn’t before.

And then it disappears and you feel the splash of smelly saliva on your face and see a look of utter disgust on the creature’s face.

“Guess it’s the hard way huh?”

“It always is uncle. It always is. Well I’m not going to have it spit on me again while during it.”

You quickly flip the creature over and get it on all fours. It begins to cry out, but there’s nobody coming to the rescue.

There never is.

Years pass... (Next chapter)

It's coming along really well if I say so myself! The scene with the man with his genitals mutilated was comedic, I loved that bit. 

With the uncle being present, this scene is also good familial bonding, you can say.

Remember, no matter how grimdark the setting, the important thing is to just have fun with it.

Well, it's possible to have fun.

But for me, I have to then structure it into links.

Well, uh... I commended this excerpt before I finished reading it, lol. But this seems like a cool story concept, I always liked hearing more about the Derro, looking forward to reading a story focusing on them!