The Fox and The Fawn

Awesome Storyline & Plot (it really showed that ye put a lot of time, effort, & imagination into it). The story was so addicting that it made me want to keep reading (I chose the Fox Clan).

The bad parts of it though is that ye misspelled many words & some words had letters missing from them so a reader could understand what the word was meant to be, but shouldn't have to need to do that. I did not see any noticeable problems with grammar.

I rated it a 7 out of 8 (Mostly because of the story/plot & the informative background & descriptions. Though ye lost a point because of the many spelling errors).

Overall, it's a great work & I wouldn't be surprised if ye soon became a featured writer on here. Keep up the great work!

This was terrific.

As a story this was well-written, creative and detailed and as a game there were enough path branches and puzzles to interest and test the reader. The relationships were well-handled and the ending perfectly suited the reader's choices, all these little things adding up to a terrific story.

Animal Fiction has become a much-maligned genre on this site so it's good to have an example of how it can produce an excellent story-game in the hands of a talented author. 8/8.

I only played one of the paths, but from what I've seen it is a very good story. There were very few grammatical errors (maybe two or three in the path I took) and the story itself was great. I like how you gave us a second chance to not go back through the hole as I have a very sensitive mouse which tends to screw up clicking things. This story has received the Phoenix stamp of approval. Good job.

SO GOOD! I loved the heck out of this. With the different paths and everything, it's so so fun. Recommended to anyone :)

Great story!

My only qualms are that this is much too short and that it's either fox or fawn. This could be so interesting if there were multiple animals to choose from.

It's an interesting premise. The idea of the story itself felt far ahead of the writing quality though. Take that as a compliment or as constructive criticism, maybe a bit of both. It felt like every 2 out of 3 sentences began with "you." It's an easy trap to fall into, but it turns into a show & tell without the show. While this is no means a bottom tier storygame, there is much more I would like to see. A good start would be with unique characters and more diverse sentence structure.

Really neat, it would be awesome if you added a sequel or a RPG or even add more animals possible to turn into. This would also be a great chance for some artwork.

Great story and well written.

It has a very interesting premise and I enjoyed it a lot. The training in the fawn clan seemed a bit cliche/stereotypical, but honestly I loved the trial/journey and the message at the end of the tunnel!