A Confused Criminal!

Okay, so...aside from the fact that you never find out why the police are after you (they just are), almost every path leads to a bad end. Or if it doesn't lead there, it leads to a junction where EVERY path is bad. It doesn't matter whether you fight the security guard or not. Every path in the corresponding 6 links is bad.

The character's behaviour seemed a bit out of place as well. You've just managed to escape the rock concert, you immediately tell a stranger that the police are after you? Why would you do that? And it turns out that the stranger wants you to rob a bank for him? You just told him that the police are after you and he asks you to commit a real crime? It just doesn't make any sense.

There's a lot of decisions but most of them are on the same linear path. That's my biggest gripe, really. They pretended to lead somewhere, and they just ended up with you being captured. That definitely needs improvement.

'Your standing in the middle of a rock concert. Your getting pushed and shoved into people.' Errors in the first two sentences, a huge red flag and indicator that a story received no proofreading whatsoever.

And if you're running from the police, why do you have to sit there and think a few minutes to remember that? Did the character have some head injury you forgot to mention?

Rough start aside, this wasn't terrible or anything and the writing is pretty decent (though I'd appreciate it if there weren't quite so many sentences starting with 'You'...) I feel like a reasonable amount of effort was put in, and all the pictures were a nice touch.

A few more details about the character, their thoughts, anything would have gone a long way to flesh this out though. In the paths I saw at least, the entire plot was just one long chase jumping from one escape to another without any explanation.

And then 50 police officers jumped out of no where and all pointed guns at me. Okay. I'd have appreciated the story at least continuing to the actual arrest so I'd know what the character is supposed to have done...

The story had great visuals, and that's about it. The plot had no sense of urgency. It was just one moment you're being chased by police, and in the next you're deciding to do other random and pointless things. It's disappointing too, because the character that you come across could've really been developed further if you took the time to write more. This story felt underdeveloped and while better than other stories on the site, it really needs improvement.

BEST GAME EVRRRRRRRR

bitch you suck

it needs to be more exciting and not every battyfish person likes rese

"The limo is filled with soda, colorful lights, televisions, computers, and even a jacuzzi!"

Only a 10-year-old would think a limo would be filled with soda. Although this was written eight years ago, so perhaps now the author is just starting to figure this out.

This story was straight up whack yo. Me and my girlfriend can’t sleep and it’s 5am and this story was worse than staring at a wall and pretending a movie was playing

Well, I got caught! But it was good

Overall, the game was ok