Adventures of a Cute Cat: A Poem
, #50 for
Played 689 times (finished 103)
"Walk in the park"
"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"
"Choking hazard for children under 4"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 6. To compare to the movie rating system, this would be G.
A poetic and innocent journey of a cute cat through time. Her life would be so much easier if her name was Sue. Please rate and comment. :-)
The idea is certainly novel and ambitious, even if the execution leaves something more to be desired. There aren't really any rules to poetry, but for something like this, some tweaking to make the verses sound more natural rather than shoehorned in would have helped.
Also, it was still too short to really be a storygame, even if it is understandable that the format makes it more forgiveable.
on 2/29/2016 11:44:19 AM with a score of 0
... I'm beginning to think I should start charging folks for unauthorized cameos. ;) (Kidding, the only one I ever really minded was by a certain Spiderman fanboy.) While this combines two lovable things, cats and poetry, I can't rate it very high.
The flow is too awkward. It's not enough to just make the last word of a sentence match up with the last word of another sentence. I've written a lot of rhyming poetry, and its ability to roll off the tongue naturally and keep a consistent rhythm is its true charm.
To accomplish that and make most of a minimalistic form of expression like poetry, careful word selection (quality and quantity) is so, so important. You had extra words where they weren't needed, but in other places, they were sorely missed, and some parts just could've been phrased better. I also noted a few general mistakes. (Like spelling "anger" as "angre")
The content of the poetry is kinda random, which I don't normally find too compelling unless it's very funny or very, very creative.
The length of my play through was acceptable given the format, though you abandoned your rhyme-scheme a bit jarringly less than halfway through the last page of that one. I think you may have gotten caught up in telling the story instead of writing a poem--which, we are here for a story, but if you're going to make a gimmick the main feature _of_ a story, I'd strongly recommend consistency. And if you can't multitask with enough effort given to both, I'd recommend just telling the story straightforward.
That said, I am not calling this bad. It's better than about half the games I've subjected myself to on here, but I'm very fond of poetry and thus, very critical of it. I'd recommend reading/re-reading works like "The Raven" when studying flow--personally, I can't read it without wanting to read aloud because of its rhythm.
on 2/21/2016 1:40:31 AM with a score of 0
You lied to me Negative! At the beginning of the poem, you stated that the cat barked instead of meowing, but later on in the poem, there's a verse that mentions the cat meowing! This game forged of trickery and deceit I tell you!!!
... With that out of the way, it was cute. I thought it was fun that the game was written in the form of a poem, though some of the rhymes did seem a little forced to me, (like the bit where she didn't want change in her life because it would be like walking on a knife. There are other words that rhyme with life you know?) :p
on 2/20/2016 11:57:52 AM with a score of 0
This story is cute, funny and fantastic!
— Michal and Lena on 6/14/2021 1:44:09 PM with a score of 0
:3 cute cat
— eva on 1/31/2021 3:56:25 PM with a score of 0
I LOVE IT
— Dumi on 7/24/2020 5:29:33 AM with a score of 0
"Face the dreaded pirate
His face was terrifying,
his filthy beard tangled like a nest,
his voice was like thunder,
proclaiming he was the best,
He challenged her to a game,
of wits, brawn and not pain,
her prize would be glorious,
for it was freedom she would gain,
there he was lying,
sprawled in his tears,
having lost not once, but a dozen times,
He jumped off the ship,
not in pride but in shame,
promising he would return,
till then she could be the captian of his Queen Ann,
and so she became the queen,
of a crew and a Queen!
uH... AM i missing something? ;)
on 11/22/2017 8:52:17 PM with a score of 0
Briar-Rose, it's a game of time-travel and alternate universes, in one she would bark, but another she would meow. Alternate universes work like that, one the evil ambitious magic old-person likes dragons and in the alternate universe she hates them! I played again just to explain this to you (hope it helps).
on 3/27/2017 7:26:10 PM with a score of 0
It was funny and entertaining, though not my style so I can't really rate it well, it's also very original! Never seen another like it I give it about a five.
on 3/27/2017 7:20:53 PM with a score of 0
It was fun. Funny and some else put "Ambitious" I think that suits it. I would like to see more.
— Natalie on 2/18/2017 3:14:48 PM with a score of 0
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