Player Comments on Adventures of a Normal Man

This game is actually pretty good, despite having numerous errors.

Here's a tip of advice for you, let someone else proofread this game for you. If you're not good at English, it's alright. Still, each story has to be revised for quality, and you can ask for help from the wonderful members on this site for help.

Onto my review!

This game is a nice attempt for your first game, even though it suffers from errors. Your use of the advanced editor seems proficient enough, but you need more experience, particularly in scripting. You can exploit the game and get some things for free, without the necessary items to get them.

Your use of humor seems to be fine, although it's still random and randomness usually doesn't work in stories. This story is no exception, as there was an instance where if you don't follow the narrator, you get killed by random reasons.

The problem is... although this story was of decent length, it ended abruptly. That makes this storygame a part 1 or a demo essentially, but it seems complete enough to not be qualified as an incomplete game.

If you were to make a part 2, make sure it's proofread for quality and is complete. There is a path I took that is incomplete, which is the Fine path, and I hope that you complete it.

My rating is 4 for fine.

The fact that English is not your native language is quite clear. "After all, you told him that when he suggested you to girlfriend Casey." <--huh? Also, tommorow is the incorrect spelling of tomorrow. There are many grammar mistakes, and they did disrupt my reading of the storygame a little.

I applaud you. You managed to put humor and game and story (well, that lacked a little) and decent writing skills together to form a good storygame!

But. That was basically a demo. No demos please. It ended too soon, even though the story was of medium length... Now I want to read the next part!!!

A solid 3/8.

I think I played a version of this a while ago, maybe a before version because I didn't remember any of the adulthood, but I did remember the childhood. Or I just didn't finish it. Anyways, it was good game, just wish we got a bit more closure on the endings.

path in Nodnol is too short

I will praise its humour

What an amazing game, I gave it an 8/8 and praiseed it's amazing humour.

This story was pretty good, aside from the numerous grammar errors. I probably rated this more than I should have but, 5/8.

This was pretty good. Pretty underrated if you ask me. I like the humor in it. The long description on the stick was amusing. Wish the author was still around. Curuois what he could have made.

good

good for a first story

I was a total bad***

Worth it playing this!

"Now, player, this is the place where we part ways. I like to keep these story's short, and have more of them. Don't worry, there will probably be a sequel for the story. If you don't want to wait, go all the way back to the start and go to Nondol instead of Fine.


Farewell player, I hope our paths cross soon...

HEALTH is 1.
LOGICALITY is 1.
MELEE is 5.
What an amazing game! Time to give it an 8/8 and praise it's humor"

Seriously, the game is written in humor, but 8/8 is too much to ask so here you have 6/8!

I found it funny and a good bit of entertainment. As for your spelling and grammar, I find that you not having an English origin gave it a bit of character.

Fun

A great story just very unfinished.

Ending is not satisfaing...

I do not like that this game is unfinished. I didn't have 4 melee, but I was still able to fight those guys at the market. I enjoyed the humor though.

Good Humour

This definitely has potential, but I don't think Nondol is London backwards :P

I ment to click better than resses cups but i missed, liked the story, kinda liked the rpg aspects, didnt like that it wasnt done, it brought a tear to my balls

Great and amusing! Feliz Navidad you filthy animal!

Hilarious. LOVE IT!!!!

He kept the stick for over a decade. I like that

Relationships did nothing, monetary system pointless, stat items didn't do anything either, and you admitted you got lazy when writing the story! Either finish a segment, or remove it! This had the potential to be a very good game... It's a sshame you wasted it.

Enjoyed some of the humor, but I would suggest not making the game so linear, and working on your grammar and writing skills.

I liked it a lot....
Sure did give it a 8/8.

Fun...

"Nondol" isn't "London" backwards. Sorry.

I liked the humour but I'm not a big fan of those let's-remind-the-reader-it's-not-a-real-adventure-on-every-page postmodern styles of writing. The premise was interesting but my scores didn't really do anything and after a while the getting spoken to directly by the author made it seem less like my adventure than one that happened to you that you're telling me about. Still: good writing, good item use and a tangible enough plot but as has been stated you should not publish unfinished stories or ones with broken links because it wastes our time, especially when the story-game has good potential like this one. :) 6/8

Uhh, yeah. I think you should know that, if you straight up tell your audience, in big, bolded letters, exactly where and what the easter eggs are in a game... Well, then they're really not easter eggs...

PRAISE THE HUMOR!

There's a lot of dead ends but it is okay.

First, I consider a link broken if it A, literally does not function, or B, takes you to a dead end--which, by the way, is a page that has no links. The page "Houses" is one of those dead-ends.

Second, why did you post here AND in a PM? :P

Third, what do you mean "If you really have seen broken pages/links" or "I don't think it has broken links"? You're admitting in your comment, the PM, and the summary that it would be somewhat broken and that the game as a whole has glitches and is unfinished. You even said in your summary that using one of your items ... "will insert a virus" which should be impossible, but whatever.

So, why deny it now? -_- Don't act like I'm making baseless comments, it makes you look like a liar. xD

As for the request in second part of your PM, I don't owe you a beta-reading session, nor do I feel like offering one if you're going to contradict yourself to argue with me, lol. This is your story, not mine. If you're going to admit in the summary itself that it's got issues, you should've fixed them before publishing, period.

@Kiel_Farren
I don't think it has broken links and/or pages
maybe you took the way to Nondol, which, I said that it would be somewhat broken

This is incomplete with empty pages and broken links. You shouldn't have published it, you're going to get poor reviews this way. I'd advise that you take it down and republish when you're finished. It, like your other game, has potential, I just want to see it finished before giving it a thorough review.