Aloe's Disappearance

Player Rating3.13/8

"#779 overall, #94 for 2013"
based on 116 ratings since 10/27/2013
played 752 times (finished 113)

Story Difficulty7/8

"wade in shark infested water"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level4/8

"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.

Africa, The African Stars Pack. A few weeks before Blythe joined this wonderful pack, there has been a little discussion about Aloe's disappearance. You are new to the pack and is willing to investigate the mystery, not only to discover what really happened, but to be accepted as a Kuangalia, Tafuria, Swala or Vakooja.

Player Comments

Interesting, but I couldn't help but be a bit confused as I read through this story. Although I guess that could be attributed to my lack of insight about the source material that this story is based on, but this certainly wasn't a bad read.

I just wish that more effort was put forth to make me as a reader feel for these characters, which I ultimately struggled with doing. Weird phrasing and grammar were both issues as I read. Such things did not do well in improving my enjoyment of this game. Polish and proofreading is always essential and should be at the forefront of your agenda before publishing something.

This game also had the issue of being quite linear, because when you weren't picking the 'correct' choice you were either dying or meeting an unfortunate end. I usually don't have a problem with that, but with the length of this game it made certain ends come rather abruptly in this already short story.

Still, the potential is there and with all of its faults, this was a game that I found myself wanting to leave no page unread. My advice is to better proofread and check your work, because it comes a long way in making your story more enjoyable in the long run.
-- TharaApples on 2/17/2017 11:35:20 PM with a score of 0
it was good for what i got out of it. i didn't really under stand it because i could not focuse
-- Reese on 9/2/2016 11:24:17 AM with a score of 0
Was there no happy ending?
-- BigRonn77 on 8/31/2016 1:16:45 PM with a score of 0
Well that was short...
-- kawaii_kitty on 5/3/2015 7:16:25 PM with a score of 0
It was written fine, but I just couldn't connect with the characters.
-- MythicBowman on 11/17/2013 9:54:21 AM with a score of 0
good job
-- Il_Maestro on 11/3/2013 11:24:53 AM with a score of 0
well the story was good, short but good, kinda need one more page and its long.

-Star The Vakooja from ASP
-- Wolfdudemuder on 10/27/2013 7:58:34 PM with a score of 0
Wow the story looks nice! loved it
-- Wolfdudemuder on 10/27/2013 7:54:23 PM with a score of 0
its pretty short, and should have maybe a couple dif endings... but it was pretty good ^_^
-- superwaffles65 on 10/27/2013 7:43:47 PM with a score of 0
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