Player Comments on Courier 237

This story has a lot of potential. The concept is fairly simple but allows for so much variation in where this story can go. Unfortunately, the length of the story does not really let it explore all its possibilities. The story shows definite effort by the author and would be even better with some editing and additional narrative included.

The writing was ok, but suffered a bit from just telling the reader about things, instead of revealing things to the reader through action and dialogue.

The concept of the setting was decent and a bit more exploration of the city would have been fun. Many of the choices seemed to be fairly straightforward as for how to accomplish your task. So, throwing some twists or difficulty in those choices would provide for a bit more branching.

I liked the mystery of not knowing what was in the package. It might have been interesting for the courier to have an opinion on what he could have been carrying and why. Perhaps it is something that is not ethical to use/have - a virus, drugs, explosives, info - and if that is the case SHOULD the package be delivered, or should someone else get it. This type of info would have made the MC more interesting.

Overall, this is a decent story that with some work has the potential to be pretty good.

I enjoyed the story! It was short but super fun!

I got the good ending... cool I guess. Not as good as the previously commented meth squirrels, but still pretty good.

Ah, one tiny bug I spotted, after you are done with the pub and go to the alley, the option to go to the pub again is for some reason available (even though you already went through it one time) This could be fixed with a tiny variable.

Fairly simple story, really needed something more going for it plot-wise to attain a higher rating.

Eh, needs more substance. Well written, but it's pretty obvious which are bad choices and which are completely bad ideas.

I speed ran this, it goood

Short but enjoyable.

Actually, I change my mind about this game. It's GOOD....., but I feel like I'm being pushed in the right and only direction. As if there wasn't more ways this book went down.

Better than anything I'd make.

Would have liked to see more of the city, and maybe one more successful option for handling the thief and the stranger.

I loved how short, yet so intriguing and attention grabbing it was. Great descriptions that provided clear imagery, as if I was really feeling what the Courier was feeling!

This was pretty short, but I liked the death scenes. Feels like there's a lot that could be expanded upon.

The storygame is pretty short. It feels more like a quick glance at a setting than something exploratory and engaging. There was an effort made and the story didn't begin with waking up, so I gave it a 3. Some advice: make it longer, adding in characters to interact with, and a hefty dose of internal dialog since this is styled after a Noir setting with a "lone wolf" type of MC. You can reveal mystery, exposition, and foreshadowing in the thoughts of the main character that way, rather than telling the reader what their assignment is upfront. That secondary layer will make it much more interesting, I'd think.