Player Comments on Durwood Mansion

A sickening, twisted, spooky sensation! If you like horror, especially those with gore, then this is definitely the storygame for you. Like others, I too struggled with the intro to this storygame. It was a lot of background information thrown at you all at once, which was a lot to commit to memory once you started getting into the meat of the story and all the details started coming out. The first choice you *finally" get to make is how our main character, Arthur, deals with the death of his parents- either a media personality or a personal trainer. I played the media personality option through a few times to find an ending that wasn't just death (SPOILER: there isn't one) and I played the personal trainer option once. Honestly, there wasn't much a difference if any, so truly nothing worth elaborating on. I honestly think you could have omitted this choice entirely because the choice for either one has no impact on the actual storyline, and because the option that you chose never comes up again. Once you make your career choice, you very quickly get the flash of an image of Arthur's mom, Tamara, who spiritually calls to you and appeals to your childlike longing for your dead mother to return. After your curiosity and innocence leads you into the home and eventually the dining room, you are met with a literal feast from hell. Your entire (dead) family sits before you, yet the mirage of peace and home coming overtakes you. The illusion is quickly shattered as you continue to make your choices of who to speak to, and how to react to the rancid cooking from your mother, as their deathly state becomes the forefront of your dinner endeavors.

Speaking of your family’s now obvious decomposition, wow, are the descriptions unbelievable! They were so spot on that it’s like I could smell the putrid smell of rot and decay myself. Admittedly, it was not my best decision to try to read this story while enjoying my breakfast. The personal feelings of nausea mixed with the gory descriptions were captivating but should have come with some sort of warning for those with a weaker stomach. Additionally, the details that were put into describing the scenes around the characters, the word choices you used to convey the feelings they had, the metaphorical and literal imagery absolutely hit it all out of the park! A few grammar and sentence mistakes I noticed (Instead, I watch as I almost smash through the iron gate that I had forgotten sat at the beginning of our winding driveway at the halfway point of our driveway,” being one), but nothing too distracting or unruly. You are very comma happy, though, but I'm willing to overlook it given how much detail and time you put into this story.

The plot was a bit lost at times. I think more elaboration on what was actually consuming the family and chaining them to the house would have made for a better understanding. I also wish there would have been more of a true explanation as to why Arthur was chosen to be the chosen one. Lots of questions arose and not a whole lot of answers, but still a solid storygame none the less. I truly think the details are what won me over, though. If you are looking for more of a Splatter storygame, then this is definitely the one for you!

I did struggle with the first part of this storygame. The initial pages felt very much like a summary of what went before, and my eyes did glaze a bit by the time I reached the first choice. I'm not really sure that initial choice had any impact on the rest of the storygame, to be honest. The media personality choice seemed to offer Arthur, the player character, another family (though different) and the other path doesn't indicate any other close bonds formed. Both paths left me with the feeling of Arthur being entirely alone in the world, though.

The storygame definitely picked up when Arthur returned to his childhood home. There was no 'settling in' like I often see at the start of horror movies. Instead, there's an immediate appearance of Tamara, Arthur's mother...and thanks to the previous work done, I knew immediately that her presence meant that something was seriously, horribly wrong.

There was something really ominous about the initially picture-perfect sight of a family sitting down for a meal together, only to begin showing signs of the things that had killed them. The creepy, disturbing sights of Tamara and Emilia were done really well, but I was a bit disappointed that there was more of an illusion of choice rather than any true choice. Arthur is told that he can walk away, but I didn't find a path where that was possible at all. And most of the choices I made resulted in Arthur being killed by whatever his mother had become (I'm still not entirely clear on what that was). I was determined not to end the story until I'd found out what the gate was...but even then, the only choices were death and death. However, that final haunting image of the spirit wandering the deserted corridors of the house will always stay with me.

I would have liked to be able to explore more of the house; to have less information dumping at the beginning, and more of a gradual reveal of what happened to Arthur's family as the story progressed. That way, the scene with the family around the dining table (for example) could have been even more creepy and ominous.

I did like the use of first person in this storygame, but again, I would have liked to have the story expanded upon. It was entertaining once it had picked up, but by that point, the storygame ended so quickly, I didn't get a chance to fully absorb the horrors that Arthur was experiencing.

Durwood Mansion tackles a tried and true method for a ghost story - estranged/last standing relative inherits the Old House - but it handles it well. Rather than trying to spook the reader on every page with scares and jumps and things that go bump in the night, the author fills this tale with a sense of almost remorseful retrospect. As much as Arthur Durwood never wanted to go home, it still was once *his* home, and it still is home to the spirits (and memories) of his family.

Early on, you have the choice of how Arthur handled the murder of his mother and imprisonment of his father - becoming a media personality and selling the story, or channeling his frustration and anger into physical training. At first it doesn't seem like there was a difference between these two, but later on the distinction becomes more clear. I think there is a bit more meat on the media personality route's bones, but they both lead to similar endings, albeit with the addition of an extra character factored in.

The story doesn't branch out too far from its main trunk, and aside from the death endings there are ultimately two ways to end the story (either opening or closing the gate, though in one path you go it alone and in the other you have your sister beside you). I think these endings can all be satisfying in their own right depending on how you view them. I thought they were fitting for the content in my opinion.

** CHARACTERS **
Ghosts and scares aside, I find Arthur's position to be a relatable one. Returning back to a family estate after decades of separating yourself from your kin for whatever reason will undoubtedly invoke a turbulent menagerie of emotions in you - many negative but some surprisingly positive if not nostalgic for "the good times." I think that, albeit to a lesser degree, this is a circumstance that is easily understandable, and I understand why Arthur reacts the way he does throughout the story. That's a major credit to the author: making this protagonist's actions and reactions believable.

I feel sympathetic towards the undead Durwoods as well. Arthur's sister and even his father he so passionately hates (for, up until a certain point, good reason) are tragic victims in their own ways. Within a single scene at the dinner table, I glean a hefty serving of details about the dynamic in my former family. I get a glimpse of the truth of the house as well, though honestly part of me wishes for a little more connection between the mansion and the portal beneath it (and the other part of me understands that it isn't totally necessary for that to exist to still understand the story's themes).

** WRITING **
This is a pretty well-written story. Descriptive and consistent in tone, I think it succeeded in keeping my interest in the story and making the setting feel alive (or, um...dead?). The figures of speech sprinkled throughout, especially when relating to setting the mood or describing the protagonist's surroundings, contributed a lot to the visuals of the story.

The author is able to switch between tones quite effortlessly. As an example, Arthur's first encounter with his family beyond the spectral plane at the dinner table begins solemnly and nearly nostalgic in a way - nostalgic for those pleasant Sunday dinners with his family again, before the upper-case Incident of the story happened and everything went to the dogs. Once the reader gets cozy with this setting, the author changes gears and slips in more of those classic horror aspects of rotting corpses and people-eating abominations. It doesn't feel like a rug is pulled from under the table at all, though; it's a smooth but entertaining transition. All throughout, the sensation of dread is encapsulated perfectly.

Some minor grammar/spelling issues (ex: "could" in places where "couldn't" should be, as with "towering" instead of "towers," etc.), but nothing glaring. I think the high quality of the writing itself balances out these trivial SPAG mistakes quite easily.

Additionally there are some points where the writing makes it seem like the POV tense shifts, namely this excerpt for example: "...each step a subtle betrayal of physics and just enough to confuse the senses and make your eyes question what your feet insist is true." I don't believe it was the author's intention to switch between first-person and second-person here, but I think the writing of this line makes it a bit jarring to read at first. Just a nitpick though.

** RATING **
This story is masterfully crafted throughout, and I think it warrants a read from horror enjoyers. It does a good job of exploring themes of regret, loss, and longing for what once was/what could've been/what never can be. I do wish there was a bit more to the story, maybe having Arthur explore a bit more of the house and unlocking memories and flashbacks in that manner before the dinner and gate sequences.

Aside from that, though, I really did enjoy this story!

6/8.

The writing in this story is so good. That dinner scene was terrifying!

I'm not going to lie, I slogged through it. That says nothing about the quality of the writing, it was very good, just... not my type of book. But the plot was interesting and I liked the family.

This is one of the best written stories I've seen here. Excellent use of description, including subversion of expectations with use of metaphors and figurative language. Just excellent.

Also, the literal descriptions are really nice as well.

Emotionally, this story does capture the dread of the ghost story archetype, but more importantly, it captures the REGRET of that archetype. That flavor is probably the best part of this. The sense of lost control, of being unable to fix the past, being stuck in a state of grief, shame, and sorrow, with just a hint of terror and anxiety.

So, overall, I very much enjoyed this. Well worth the read.

This was really good! I appreciate the conscious choice to focus on world-building before providing choices to the readers. You took your time to set up the characters well and I think it works stylistically with the story.

The imagery and the description of sensations is pretty important for a horror story and again, it was handled really well.

The actual choices seem a bit... counter-intuitive I guess? The result doesn't always seem very easy to predict. For example, you have the option to sit at the dinner table or walk away. Walking away seems to be the better choice, but turns out actually accepting the offer to sit down is the path that leads to the more satisfying endings. It didn't affect my experience too much I suppose, but I still thought that I'd mention it.

In conclusion, really good story with strong imagery. Good job!

There certainly wasn't a ton of branching, but I really enjoyed the writing and Arthur's character. No SPAG errors that I saw, but I also consistently miss those. The dead people felt dead through the way they were described in words, which may seem obvious, but when dealing with reanimated corpses, a lot of people get it wrong, and I really appreciate it that TrueParanormal got it correct.