Hero's Quest ep.1

I'll admit I found it somewhat humourous that upon death you're worrying about people laughing at you, but I think that part was there because of your lack of understanding of how people react to death rather than intentionally as a joke so no points for that.

The first half of this incredibly short storygame is totally linear. The whole storygame is linear, but the first half is especially so. You can't predict the consequences of any of your choices, essentially making them random clicks. Every option aside from the "right" one leads to death. Try making multiple paths next time.

Your storygame looks very unprofessional. There are multiple spelling errors. One in particular is repeated so I can tell it's not a typo ("gaurd" instead of "guard"). There are multiple "A New Page" pages with "A New Link" links, and your death pages have no End Game or Restart link.

Needless to say I'm not looking forward to episode 2.

This story is incomplete. Actually, it isn't even a story. One minute, you're in a room (which you don't even know about the room until you make a decision to leave or stay) without description. You know nothing of the main character, there are pages without links, there are blank pages without text of any kind other than the standard script when new pages pop up. I get the impression that you typed up half of the story in a minute or two, then said, "No, nevermind. I'll just put it out like it is," and left half the pages blank. The least you could have done was give us ore of a summary than one sentence when there isn't even a destiny to be had.

Fucking horrible Story!

Me: Woooooaaaaahhhh...
Yeah, you might not want to do it in parts (Unless the parts are decently long and don't leave much of a cliffhanger). 5/8

Thank god I finished the story. I kept getting pissed off at the lazy "New link" page.

Incomplete.

I'm sorry, but this was very difficult for me to follow. Put a little more detail into it, if you get a chance. Also, you might have someone proofread it for you first. I gave it a 2/8

Errors, not evolving. Boring.. Sorry.

I don't know what to say.

awful