Player Comments on Hippopotamus Amphibius

Number of links vs. word count is impressive, although many of the links are nonsensical. Much of the events that the links lead to are nonsensical as well. There could be something interesting here, but developing an actual story to fill out each page would be required.

Good job on...splitting <250 words into this many pages? Maintaining an average of 14 words per page is no easy feat.

This will be taken down for low ratings soon. It would probably be a good idea to take a look at a few of the other games on the site to see what reader expectation are before publishing another. You can gain a lot of points and appreciation just by browsing other stories and leaving comments too.

This is a very short story.
It has a few very short sentences and paragraphs.

Some of the options are nonsensical.
Would you know what it means if you click on "bees" or a smiley?
I mean, the options should be based on what's happening at that moment.
Think about what's happening to the player at the moment.
If you can't figure it out yourself, try to describe it a bit better.
Then think about what logical options the player would take in this situation.
If the options are based on something not described before, describe it.

Not even going to be around long enough to justify a proper review. Other people got you covered for that.

Why does one of the end game paths have a reset option while the other ones don't?

Why are most of the choices fake choices?

Why are all your attempts at "lol random" humor extremely tame? Almost non-committal in some cases.

Why is "Amphibius" in the title if it has nothing to do with the story?

Some advice, don't post stuff publicly on the internet without first thinking about how it will be perceived by others, even imagining an alternate version of yourself is better than nothing.

Though I suppose you put very little thought into this. This isn't fanfiction.net though. People here expect quality to be put into published storygames, or at least some level of thought first.

I do agree with Ogre though, I have no fricken idea where this story will go! Its hard for me to wrap my head around what the hippo plush at the end symbolizes. Like is it an allegory/analogy for being paranoid of going to bed out of fear of not waking up? There seems to be an implication that the MC dies at the end, so how would there be a part 2? There's so much depth to this story! Every page is so dense! So much happening in each scene! I'm am in awe of this story you've written!

It's a shame it most likely will get deleted soon. If you want to do better, just read other stories on here and copy what they do (not literately though, that's plagiarism!).

Or don't...whatever floats your boat I guess! ;) :/

That ending where you end up in a coma was interesting. It raised several poignant philosophical questions, including a reference to William Shakespeare's Hamlet, "To bee or not to bee?, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Or to take arms against a sea of troubles."

I liked the part with the hippo

This is not only the most insane, weird, controversial, risky, potentially deeply offensive, spiritually serious, scientifically upending, philosophically inspired, personal, politically charged and mind-melting story that I have ever read, it is also the most insane, weird, controversial, risky, potentially deeply offensive, spiritually serious, scientifically upending, philosophically inspired, personal and mind-melting story that has ever been published by a living author.

I absolutely cannot wait until part 2. I mean, this story could go anywhere! The character development was so detailed and intense. And the hippo, that was just so realistic and imaginary at the same time it totally immersed me in the story. But part 2? Wow. Might it lead to a stuffed dog? Waking up in a bed? Maybe even successfully going to the bathroom! The possibilities are just endless for part 2. Who knows, this might even lead to an entire trilogy if the hippo can manage to make an appearance in part 2! I think I just wet myself, I'm so excited.