Player Comments on Life

I'd like to say I enjoyed myself, but this may have been the worst story i've read in a while.

Ok, listen, I understand the occasional "your," and "you're," screw up and maybe a few misspelled words throughout a storygame, but the grammar in this was horrible. Come on, did you even try? There was even a link that had an exclamation mark, with a comma and a space before it. Grammar matters.

Also, you screwed up with the branching. In one path, you can barely try, but somehow you still end up having a ton of money. Many paths led to the same ending.

Transitions were choppy, and sloppy. Neither of those words are good, as silly as they sound when used in a sentence together. You were pretty much saying a sentence, then somehow leap to another sentence with almost no relation to the other. That's not how you write a good storygame. It makes it very linear.

Character development was almost nonexistant. Work harder on your plot, branching, spelling, characters, and effort.

1/8.

NO. I hated this SO MUCH. Very rushed, and the branching is terrible. Heck, that "5 years" doesn't do anything! Bad grammar as well! Very boring too.

I think that this was by far the best work of writing i've read in my entire existence. This story was creative, well paced, thought provoking, and most of all thrilling. 10 out of 10 from me and would highly recommend.

Honestly this is the most rushed story I have ever read. There is little to no description on any of the characters. If you choose to ignore your feelings while in college on the first outing with the opposite sex, you end up lonely for the rest of your life and the two of you never hangout again. Really shouldn't the main character be focused on college. Shouldn't they have had that option later after hanging out a few times.
Then if you choose to confess you feelings you're married after 6 months. You could be marrying a horrible person. Everyone who has been in a relationship knows that people are good at pretending they are something their not for at least a year. There is also no story on the relationship at all. They kiss, then 6 months later you propose, you get married, you have a child the end.

Decent, but much too short.

needs slightly longer track and items

trash

BORING!!!!

Cute, short story.

its strangely short but its a good time waster

Cool, should be longer

That was really short.

A bit too short. Way tooo short

Great game but plz make more opitons

this is a very short game and its kind of pointless, its up to you if you want to play.

Uh, not a good game, I wish it could have been written like the actual life game, also, that was not very descriptive at all, it was not thought out. Looks like another game was made in like 1 or 2 hours, to improve, dramatically improve the time you use to make a game. A game should take more than just an hour to create, the best gamers tak a long time, but are rewarded with featuring of storygames or even points. The secret to good games is the time that is put in to the game, as well as grammatical errors being fixed, and havine a unique concept.

Very short, not enough detail. 1/10 would not play again.

Literally, choose your own boredom.

Too short. It needs more text in each page.

I ended the game quick, wedding a Florida, 3 girls and 2 boys.

So simple and cute

wow good but too short it would be fun if it was longer

I finished that in barely a minute.

Too short and I can't tell what gender i am

What a perfect life.

It's not bad, but not good. It needs to be more longer. The diea is solid and could be turned into a great story with wide web of choices.

it is ok

Really Dude This is sad.

This is certainly a good idea and reminded me of a game I played a while back but you didn't put much effort into it. You could of described things A LOT more and added more options so we could experience more of the protagonist life. Also the gender thing is just lazy in my opinion.

not much to it

The board-game is better.

It's too simple, and there's an infinite loop...

Wedding was at a church, with many people. You guys had a great time, and got great gifts.
You guys have no kids, but you guys love each other dearly. You have a lot of money, and you guys ended up moving into a huge house. No papers were ever filed for divorce!

The one path spawns the same page.

One thing I have to say that bugged me is "you guys". When you were talking about the main character and the girl, you would say "you guys". So in one paragraph (and it was short) I counted about five "you guys". You could have made it longer and more specific too. But it was fun to play. 4/8

Cool story bro.

Not good. Skips too much time at once, not descriptive enough, just a few choices long.

Okay game. Really short.

too short and... too short.

Maybe add some more job choices?

Weird that you get to choose whether you tell a girl you like her or not, but you can't choose whether or not you want to marry her. :p

kid you are bk BK I tell you BK!

Eh???? I was expecting this to be a bit longer, this was too dry, too cut and paste. You need more choices, more things of what to do. This didn't really cut it.4/8

the choices are so obvious

my life rules!

I liked the nice amount of options. It felt like I was really in control. Also the spelling was good and that's always great to see. The only bad about this game, and the reason why I didn't rate so high, is that it was a bit unrealistic. When I say that I don't mean it couldn't happen, it just happened to fast. There was no real development.

Nice second try.

4/8

Rich and famous.

i wish life was this easy to get a good ending! he hee

Okay.

Nice game. I'm looking forward to the Third World expansion pack!

It's not very detailed, and I got stuck on that Wedding page. Despite this, I have to say this storygame is better than your previous story.

I actually loved it. Keep up the good work.

Oh, and a few punctuation errors, I said that last time but this is a little more specific.

Pretty good, at least better than your other one. I did see a few errors, but not that many.

I think this game's better than your other game. However, I pretty much agree with what uglick said (the exact name of the page was "Wedding, !" (which itself is a grammatical error)). Don't lose confidence, you're getting better!

This is a lot longer than your last story, but still doesnt have enough links per page. try to have more than two per page for a game like this. It wasnt linear so good job with that. The gender being non specific realy weakend the writing, what probably needed to be done was give the option at the beginning to pick your gender, then all you would need to do as the writer would be change the gender specifics to match each side of the story. Does that make sense? There were also a few errors. There was one link that didnt do anything when you pressed it, it was the only link on the page and it just looped you back to the page you were already on. This link is called "wedding,." if I remember correctly.