Player Comments on Love Triangle
This was a rather fascinating love story.
While the premise is certainly interesting, I can't say that the presentation of this was the best. There were numerous amounts of typos that were present in this story, and pages that lacked much in terms of text. I couldn't really see a reason as to why I should pick one love interest over the other, because both didn't really seem to do much in terms of standing out to me.
The romance in this just didn't feel very genuine, and the girls had their moments of being somewhat horrifying. I mean, wanting to kill themselves or the reader at times, but I guess that was supposed to make a point that love makes most people insane, or drives them to do crazy things.
Anyway, my advice would be to better proofread your story for grammatical errors and slip ups. Also learn how to flesh out your characters more and make them feel more realistic, add some depth to them. I can't help but feel that those two things would have went a long way in making this a more enjoyable and fulfilling storygame.
I can't say that this is the best love story that I've played, but this was certainly quite a interesting game.
This just lacks polish in many crucial areas.
on 3/21/2017 6:02:34 PM with a score of 0
Grammar and writing could really use some tidying up. There were typos on nearly every page, and a simple proofread could have eliminated them all. My favorite was "feel8ngs" when pulling back from kissing Jen in the car. I guess the story itself was okay, if not a little confusing in the beginning, at least for me as I got a very early and abrupt end. I feel like this could be fleshed out a little more to encompass more plotlines instead of one choice leading to end and another continuing the story. Furthermore there could be a little more build-up and history on the characters themselves, more than "your girlfriend" or "your best friend".
on 7/10/2015 1:11:08 AM with a score of 0
I loved all of the options and it was so fun! I will let my friends know about it!
-- halley on 2/27/2021 4:07:03 PM with a score of 0
I wuv it!
on 1/27/2021 11:38:09 AM with a score of 0
i think the suicide attempts were a bit much...
on 12/9/2020 9:56:41 AM with a score of 0
Being caught in a love triangle is VERY hard. But fixing the problem within just days is unbelievable. I mean, choosing between two girls in just days or weeks? It sounds like a womanizer to me.
on 7/30/2020 5:29:18 AM with a score of 0
The story is quite entertaining inspite the fact it's not very long or detailed. I picked the Natasha ending before the Jennifer ending because in real life, sadly, not everyone has the guts to admit that kind of thing to their crush. Especially if it's a childhood crush.
But despite all of that I think this is a pretty good story. It only needs more work, more detailing. I think this could be one of the finest love stories of all time.
-- Dominic M. on 1/2/2020 5:36:25 PM with a score of 0
Grammar and spelling needs polishing, I reccommend getting at least a few proofread checks before completely published. The characters are awful, they're manipulative and unpleasant at times (i.e one literally kills themself because the reader doesn't pick them.) that it made me wish for option 3 where I either go homo or leave both of them. I would like it if the characters' history with the reader was more fleshed out rather than just your friend or your girlfriend. Overall, the premise has potential, but the excecution leaves much to be desired. Please take this critique with a grain of salt and I hope to see you improve your stories in the future
-- Ami on 8/31/2019 10:11:15 PM with a score of 0
... Both the girls sound like people I would want to stay far, far away from.
on 5/25/2019 5:09:32 PM with a score of 0
You asked which one I would pick, and honestly they both seem manipulative and overly jealous. This love triangle is just a generally bad place to be.
And also isn't a love triangle where all three parties love each other but nobody knows it and so they're all conflicted about who they can talk to, or am I dumb and thinking of something else?
on 5/7/2019 9:42:27 AM with a score of 0
I like it it's such a good story, and it's perfect length for me with lots of, like, plot twist-ey things
-- Meghan on 4/27/2019 12:22:30 PM with a score of 0
It's really goodif you get the right ending
-- Eathen on 10/29/2018 12:57:29 AM with a score of 0
Broken pic, not much effort into it, linear and kida boring. Um...sure...I died...because of a love triangle..wtf..
What should I say about a story with two lines in every page? Writing style isn't catchy either.
on 9/23/2018 9:46:11 AM with a score of 0
Love it if only there was more chapters????
-- Tiut on 5/31/2018 11:02:03 AM with a score of 0
on 5/18/2018 11:48:56 PM with a score of 0
So it took me awhile to find the somewhat good ending. But it was worth it. It was short but enjoyable.
-- Nerdy_Girl on 5/15/2018 8:11:29 PM with a score of 0
-- Amanda Moore on 4/26/2018 2:52:17 PM with a score of 0
Very nice done very well
-- Erza Celeist on 2/12/2018 9:13:19 PM with a score of 0
Interesting story. Really, if you already have a girlfriend than your other friend should respect your boundaries and not try to get with you in the first place, surely? The scene where Jennifer just gets on a plane and dies just came out of nowhere though.
on 9/18/2017 9:00:20 AM with a score of 0
Well this was...interesting. The romances seemed forced at best, and the reader also doesn't get to see any personalities, let alone character development, throughout the story. This wouldn't be THAT bad if the two girls weren't completely insane. Note to everybody out there: if your significant other threatens suicide if you leave them, you are in a toxic and emotionally abusive relationship. It's not romantic! Both of these girls need thorough psychiatric help and the mc shouldn't have chosen between them, but rather called the suicide prevention line.
There was one other discrepancy that I cannot overlook. Why and how is this kid taking physics and algebra at the same time? Physics requires a strong understanding of upper level math classes. Maybe my high school was different, but it was required to have completed Pre-Calculus with a 'C' or better in order to enroll in physics. The mc is only in algebra and even if I give you the benefit of the doubt and say he's in algebra II, he's still not qualified for physics. Maybe I'm just way overthinking this small discrepancy, but I believe taking algebra and physics at the same time is, if not impossible, report card suicide.
Overall, it was a fun read because the bad endings and even the good endings were so overdone, they were funny. If this is really based off real life, please tell me that you got help for these mentally ill girls and didn't date them. 3/8
on 4/21/2017 4:51:52 PM with a score of 0
In the last chapter it was mainly everything falling apart and you would just hit next or Jennifer/Natasha. I really felt the drama at the beginning though.
-- Morganis on 10/1/2016 6:53:59 PM with a score of 0
Personally, the characters weren't really unique to me and I couldn't see a difference between the two of them. The story felt too rushed and dramatic.
But if you want a quick read that you can possibly chuckle at, go for it.
-- Ruby on 8/5/2016 12:12:46 PM with a score of 0
I like Jennifer better
on 8/4/2016 3:59:02 AM with a score of 0
Honestly if your girlfriend is willing to die if you break up with her thats when you know when to end things. Plus you already have a girl best friend who has been with you for 13 years....
on 8/1/2016 3:10:25 AM with a score of 0
really good, wish it was longer and had more drama though.
on 5/16/2016 8:09:27 PM with a score of 0
I made a love square basically.:P
on 3/19/2016 12:16:39 AM with a score of 0
The premise is promising, but then there is just no freedom nor any real choice and it gets really blunt.
on 1/26/2016 3:16:53 PM with a score of 0
I like it, but there is some bad grammar and spelling. And I kind of wanted a choice to say neither. You should add that.
on 1/20/2016 8:36:26 PM with a score of 0
In that last comment I did not mean to be so harsh, that was based on the "good" endings I think, but there are some good things about this game, 1. the story is not that bad, it is one of a kind, there are A LOT of horrible story games one this site, this is not one of those horrible one's, but no I did not like it, but it is my OPINION, if you are reading this then play it, it may even inspire you to make your own story game
-- j.k.w. on 8/23/2015 2:36:53 AM with a score of 0
It was honestly stupid. Because to one it wasn't that long and for two I would rather play the episode story but right now its not working... If it would of been longer I would if loved it
-- Trista on 7/26/2015 4:09:13 PM with a score of 0
You my friend are sick! How could you only give us these options?! Like either they both are hurt then go off dating your best friend or one dies or both die! The plot is good but the ending is horrifying overall good job I liked it even though you made me think really deep and go into the Depths of my soul on the choices lmfao jk XD
-- kianna on 6/19/2015 3:28:55 AM with a score of 0
It's okay, the plot is nice, and the choices are all relevant.
on 4/23/2015 9:05:19 AM with a score of 0
I wish the two endings were more... different.
on 4/17/2015 2:17:16 AM with a score of 0
This was fun
-- Lotr on 3/20/2015 8:40:24 AM with a score of 0
I broke the Love Triangle and lost? I would recommend either picking Jennifer or seeing if you can interest them in other guys and start a sort of Love Pentagon, though that might get confusing... good writing but the pages were too short.
on 3/10/2015 8:13:04 AM with a score of 0
I think you should pick Jenifer.You have known her from childhood and well,I think it would be better that Natahsa
-- Warrior girl45 on 3/5/2015 7:40:21 AM with a score of 0
Ir this is real pick Jennifer.........would you Esther Have 10 months over 10 years or 10 years o ver 10 months.
-- crystal on 3/2/2015 10:39:20 PM with a score of 0
It's not bad, but your could add more stages.
-- hi on 11/9/2014 6:38:39 PM with a score of 0
dat ending dough
on 11/8/2014 7:28:26 PM with a score of 0
Oh my god! This is amazing. I chose Jenn, and Natasha dated Chester, oh my God, emotional.
-- Juliet on 10/26/2014 1:21:49 PM with a score of 0
makemore parts please
on 10/17/2014 4:25:21 PM with a score of 0
this is sorta weird
-- Tristanna on 10/5/2014 10:18:49 PM with a score of 0
Jennifer all the way, but that part with the cutting kind of ruined the mood.
on 10/3/2014 6:22:06 AM with a score of 0
lol this is wack
on 9/21/2014 9:04:55 PM with a score of 0
It was pretty good I liked it.
on 9/10/2014 8:18:03 PM with a score of 0
I made on choice at the begining and it ended the game i never chose jenn if i did natasha probs wouldve jumped out a window too or killed herself in another way. But the game was good 7 stars bro.
on 8/24/2014 3:09:27 PM with a score of 0
i love it! maybe next time its a girl.....
on 8/19/2014 8:29:46 PM with a score of 0
I loved this story it was amazing, it was kinda like what happens in real life. :) Can you make more?
-- lovedit on 6/25/2014 8:07:24 PM with a score of 0
Not going to lie - I wish there was a choice where you didn't have to choose either of them. The single life isn't that bad! And like a previous comment said: you're young. Don't think that you're obligated to choose between both of them to make ONLY THEM happy. Make sure YOU'RE happy as well. Otherwise, pretty suspenseful story.
on 6/16/2014 11:16:54 PM with a score of 0
Honestly...? I'd pick neither. You portray them both as manipulative bitches. I get the fact that these women are suppose to reflect real people and that the feelings you have, caring for them, are real. However, nothing in this actually made me feel like either relationship was worthwhile.
... Seriously, girls killing themselves over you when you're fifteen? Actually, scratch that, if a girl is unstable enough to kill herself over you, period, regardless of what age you are at, then you don't need that kind of drama.
I understand losing a loved one is hard on anyone, so I can identify with feeling like life has no meaning if someone you truly loved is gone.
But, dude, you're not dying, you're trying to figure out how you feel and the best choice for your life. You're also too young to do... anything, really. You can't even DRIVE without an adult present, it's kind of ridiculous to be so serious about someone.
... I know, it sounds easy for me to say "dump 'em both," but you asked my opinion and my honest-to-God opinion is that someone who isn't content by themselves will not be happy with anyone else. Also, if they can't be happy -for- you, it's unlikely they'll be happy -with- you. Selfishness and jealousy have no part in a serious relationship.
on 5/1/2014 11:04:10 AM with a score of 0
If this were real, I would try to run away from the problem. I wouldn't be able to handle that. I know this sounds dramatic, but I would've picked neither of them. But I was able to break the love triangle in a good way in this game, and I do think it was worth playing. Thank you!
on 4/2/2014 12:04:25 AM with a score of 0
As opposed to many "love triangle" stories where one girl is the obvious correct choice, you tried hard to show the protagonist's feelings for both girls, as well as making both of them seem like appealing choices.
A lot of the game was very linear- when there are only a few sentences per page and only one choice to make, you could condense those into one longer page.
on 3/28/2014 5:16:18 PM with a score of 0
Thank you. I'd usually do the same, but one cant live without me and the other one cries every time I'm around another girl, so its very complicated. Since I knew I can't run, I made sure the player couldn't either.
on 3/28/2014 11:22:59 AM with a score of 0
I Like it, Personally at how the writing really hit me since the writer had happened the same experience. Honestly since I am an introvert, I would usually prefer silence or run away from my problem, which in the end doubles it.
on 3/28/2014 10:04:49 AM with a score of 0
on 3/26/2014 8:57:00 PM with a score of 0
This really happened.... I'm still stuck about what to do... was this good? :/
on 3/26/2014 8:55:33 PM with a score of 0