No Quarter

Congratulations on being the first to earn a commendation on a storygame!

This was far from a perfect CYOA but the writing was strong and the author did an excellent job of establishing the setting and of evoking wintery imagery. I enjoyed how ambiguous the POV was for the first half of the story and I felt that the author's choices contributed to allowing the reader to engage with the sense of dread and hopelessness that the character's felt.

This storygame was too short and too linear to be qualified as an excellent CYOA, but it was a very good read nonetheless. I would really appreciate a longer, more branching version of this storygame where the author delves deeper into the world and establishes the events that led to this horrible realm. There were also a few awkward sentences where the same word was reused too soon, so a shallow edit would be useful too.

Overall, this was an engaging and enjoyable read but the author could have provided us with much more, so I am left a little disappointed.

Excellent writing. I did not know you could make a fan fiction out of a song before today. I feel like I use enjoy too much in my reviews so I was entertained by this story.

There were some spelling mistakes and there was only one or two choices so 9/10

I cried 4 times

Good work.

Holy cow...

I got really absorbed by your story, Wouldn't. It is like every sentence is thoroughly explained, you've fulfilled my demand for detail in a storygame.

Still, this had some issues. Could have been longer, but I do understand this is a contest entry, and you can't delve into writing for too long because contests have deadlines.

The endings, too. Failure holds no quarter in your story. The best ending I got still looked like a fail. Your story, to be honest, is a tad too pessimistic for my taste. It seems you're just hopelessly outmatched by all except the will to go on.

Suggestion: You could make an even greater story by making a sequel to this.

In the end, never the worst, but will never be the best. 5/8.

I like the idea, and the pictures lent it a certain feel, and added to the depth and plot, and it certainly branched out, but there was no well-defined plot, and while it is easy to guess that same plot, it still could use some brightening. It has a somber mood that works well with the length of the story, and the words are easy to read and understand. There are a lot of great qualities to this story, and they compliment the bad qualities very well, but, to my eyes, if you fixed just one of the bad qualities the story would be ruined. You have a ton of potential, and I would love to see another story. You grasped the story, and made it a summary, but made the summary a story of its own. You could give a choice on the second page though, instead of 2 pages in a row of no choices. Keep it up, though!

I don't want to write an essay explaining all the good and bad about the story, but here's what I was thinking: This story is fuggin' amazing!!

P.S. Out of the box idea for you story, I loved it!