Player Comments on Revolt

Well, it seems like some effort has been put into the game, but a lot can be done to improve the quality of the game.

First, have more backstory. Be more in-depth with your story, explaining fully why the player is in the current situation with a backstory.

Second, make your story less linear with more branching, as that would allow players to immerse themselves in a story. What's the point of a CYOA if you can't choose an option that you really want?

Third, don't have deaths that are too sudden, like a one liner, e,g. A rock falls on you, you die. GAME OVER.

Here it goes. I'd suggest, if you want to do a 'sequel' that you actuality start from the beginning, like this one, and fully expand it. Get someone to proof read out the spelling and punctuation errors. There's a good basis for a story here if you clean it up some. Also, I found the investigation of the room needed work. Saying almost everything was of no interest got on my nerves.

Not bad. A few grammar errors in the synopsis so I was wary before starting, but the story doesn't have so many that I lost my mind lol. I died several times. Kept hitting back and choosing different options until I got a death that felt better than the one-liners. More detail on the battle/fight scenes would be cool. Overall, not too shabby. Enjoyed.

I mean, this story has HUGE potential, but it only has one ending, and every other thing ends up with you dying. I was at least hoping there would be more endings, and like I said before, HUGE POTENTIAL. Author, please add more to this! It would be so great!

That ended way too suddenly, I'm not sure what happened

I simply activated the omega bot, and he killed me.
Wow.

I don'rt really know what happened at the end . . . leading a robot army would have been cooler if you actually got to chose different objectives and tatics

It's good certainly not the best but a tad short but good job.

Not bad. Pretty linear and just a suggestion make more than one path to win or different endings than win or die...

cool pics , boring game

Being able to branch out a bit from either one path or dying would be nice. I think you've got an interesting world here, so if you take your time with it then people can enjoy it more and so will you.

Short, a cliffhanger ending, and no quotation marks when someone is talking. Basic grammar was a nice touch-up due to the shitty stories flooding in, but other than that, it was average.

It's not a bad start, but it could use some improvement. You're story is way too linear, with actually only one set of choices you choose if you don't want to die. You could also try to write some more on your pages, one paragraph of text per page doesn't necessarily make a story bad, if it's a well written story with a good plot, etc. But to be honest, your story isn't. Like I said before, not a bad story, but could use improvement.

this game sucks guys don't play this game

Copyright with photos. Short story with do-or-die decisions. Obvious lack in creativity, details, and originality. Please take this down.

"You see several maps and pictures along with some notes. Nothing of interest." Also, there's a gun under the pillow. The city is under attack and you are weaponless and you run around the city and finding information [maps, pictures] and a weapon DOES NOT INTEREST you? Are you in for a suicide?

definately want a sequel!!! lol i wanna find out what happens to my character!!

Not bad. I'd say decide whether or not to make part 2 based on whether you want to, not what other people say. If you do make another though, you should put what people say in speech marks so it's not confusing.

it was good make another

It wasn't bad, but I didn't find anything especially enjoyable about it.