The Mysterious House

Agreed with Tanstaafl, it wasn't terrible or anything. I think the author is pretty young, but they seem to have a basic grasp of grammar and punctuation at least...maybe this is a little sad, but yes, I now consider it a red-letter day on CYS when a writer knows how sentences work.

It definitely needs more detail though, right now it falls pretty hard into the trap of telling, not showing. 'Hannah realizes this' 'Hannah decides that' and etc.

Also for the sake of realism I have to ask, what kind of person walks by a strange house, sees the window is open and immediately decides to climb inside?

A person about to get a well-deserved shotgun blast to the face, that's who. Dumb bitch is lucky she only had to deal with a ghost since ghosts can't pull triggers.

The story was kind of mundane and suddenly had a lot of info at the story's end. Have you thought about maybe having that part as decision-making too? I feel it would help this story to receive higher ratings. Just sayin'.

Bit short...

Nice story. Cool haunted house. Thanks for writing this story.

The details were lacking in some parts, but when they weren't they made for an interesting story. It needs better choices however. At parts the only good decision available leads to the quickest and most disappointing ending. Also, some very random moments.

A pretty interesting plot, but lacks depth. Still good though. :)

Good Game

Much better than I expected. It's a little short; however, all in all, it definitely has potential.

Too short but still interesting-Joe
Interesting but I wish there was more to it-Bob

This was good for a short story. It could be longer and more descriptive. A decent effort