Player Comments on These Shackled Souls

OMG I love this game. So far I have only made it through once but I will certainly come back for more. I read the first few pages from most of the storygames that were submitted to this contest and there were so many good ones. Though, this is the story that I got immediately hooked on.

The writing is very light with short paragraphs that make reading a bliss and fit the playful tone perfectly. I wish for more stories in this style. In some places a dialogue tag would have helped me, but it was fine.

The two protagonists worked very well, and I can see how the first person helped to make it fly--clever choice. The tension created by the back and fourth was great. And really enjoyed the pacing which led to nice progression and eventual escalation.

The only complaint I could possibly come up with is that at times it felt westernized. The incorporation of Christian elements and western myths, as well as some word choice (when the guards du their 'job', not their duty, or when the sultan 'takes his turban off' rather than unwinding it) I felt a little bit like I was reading the Disney version, rather than an Arabic tale. This is probably a singular view and most readers will probably don't even notice it, so better ignore me.

In summary this is a fantastic tale. I will come back to it and read more and probably think about it even longer--but now I must go back into my lamp.