Player Comments on War of Brothers

Wow, this was certainly something.

I must say that the biggest recurring problem in this game is the grammar, no offense but some parts were barely legible. Also, there was an abundance of links that went absolutely nowhere when clicked, and some of the scenes just literally made no sense. Characters had no names, army ranks, or barely any personalities at that.

Honestly, there's just so many flaws here. Flaws that outweigh the little positives that may be in this story. I'm not saying that this is a terrible game, but it's not the most pleasant reading experience that I've had on this site. But I do see that there's potential in this and that's what makes it frustrating when all is said and done.

This is something that I would like to enjoy, but as it now I can't really say with honesty that I immensely enjoyed this game.

The story was good, but the poor grammar and misuse of words (shocking people's hands instead of shaking them for example) made me stop for a moment to work out what it was trying to say, a fair few times. As Sethaniel said, it could be immensely improved by correcting such mistakes. However, I liked it, and I've seen far, far worse than this before. I'll play the sequel when it comes out.

Nice storyline to this story. A little confusing that you have links saying "shoot him" but those don't work, one has to use the gun item to actually shoot. This game would be *immensely* improved by spell-check and grammar checking. There are characters and plot here, but they don't come through as clearly as they could because of the confusing writing style. "You hand-shock everyone on the army" -- sounds like I have a joybuzzer. . .

Really good and interesting, it is very short but you could tell he put a lot of time and effort into it. I would recommend it and i'm going to be looking out for more of his works.

The sentence structure was awkward and there were lots of unnecessary capitalizations. I also feel like you could do a better job of making us care about the characters. Putting a little bit more effort in, whether it's fleshing out the characters, adding to the plot, or even just running it through a grammar checker, would improve your story significantly.
The item scripting was okay, but there were some places where there was a link to shoot someone as well as the option to use the gun.
Overall, a lack of effort made this story an unsatisfying read.

it was lit AF

Your game is chock-full of bugs. I started out choosing a gun, but decided not to pick it up, because why not. Before long, I find that I have to shoot someone but the page loops and loops until eventually you have to restart. If you want the player to pick up the gun specifically, force them to do so or something. I found 3 different looping pages and it wasn't very entertaining.

good game but it need's to be longer and you need more tools and weapons and a reason to use them differently.

Prrrty gooood

well first you need to work on your grammar dude, it kinda sucks to read it, i got headache because of your grammar wew

It was short and the grammar was terrible.

Gah! Crap! I'm a vet and this was appalling! Do some research on the united states army. Boss, army man. Actually try to write a story. Use names, ranks and some sense of how a war is like. If I want to enjoy something that isant an army story based on the army, I'll go watch Delta farce. Put more effort into this and it could of been great and edgy.

it just sucked

I like how you set it up, and besides a few spelling and grammatical errors, it was a decent game.

make a sequel

246. . . 8?

that was ok but some links didn't work

niiiicee

246

I see your games are very similar to one another..

Good story. Um... yeah.

Sometimes it doesn't let you click a link. And wasn't the War of Brothers the Civil War?

Well, some stuff is fixed and other stuff isn't. I can see you made a nice effort with the variables and stuff. :)

The army man who was Mike in a different costume? I don't get it.

Hey Simpsons. Per our msging talk, when you do that, you have to change the link so it doesn't confuse the reader. See Sethaniel's comment. And on some pages, you can't have it say things like "Move in a foot," when really the Use item will do that. Feel free to post on the Advanced Editor Forum for help - everyone will be glad to do so. An interesting game, but too many spelling/grammatical errors. Try just revising this one and see how it comes out! :)

Meh, bad. Or if not bad, painstaikingly below average.
And what the hell are: Bonachuras? I think you mean binoculars? Yeah... That barely even rhymes. As for the story, its pretty good. But its horribly excecuted and super linear. How many endings were there? 1? 2? Exactly. This isnt horrible but it could be alot better. Just my honest opinion.

A lot funner than I expected, although I didn't see any ranks or any use for the experience points in the storygame. Maybe some better spelling, but otherwise well done.

Entertaning
Good plot and storyline