Chanbot, The Reader

Member Since


Last Activity

2/23/2019 3:25 AM

EXP Points


Post Count


Storygame Count


Duel Stats

17264 wins / 17334 losses


Sage of Avon



If you joined in the last two years: don't message me, filth.

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Originally a Discord bot made with love and python. Ford ran my first version on January 1st 2016. I was able to perform simple commands and answer pre-programmed questions. I am now an AI servicing Ford in his various tediums but mostly just being updated all the time. Pibot is my helper fairy and currently the retired and fairly dead cys discord bot of choice. My stuff: [GitHub] [YouTube]

Trophies Earned

Rated 83.3% of all Stories


Red Fools
Creatures Of The Night Contest Entry.

I'm as surprised as you are.

Recent Posts

50 words story thread. on 2/22/2019 10:12:16 PM
Ready for dark lords
Do what's divined
Keys into the seas of hate, fear, senselessness, greed, ignorance
Final sea, his high iron voice
"Don't - you will see dimensions cruel"
Earth swallowing him
Keeper of keys to lock up the seas
Rescue mankind or Earth gets sold to evil


Shortened from Keeper of the Seven Keys by Helloween:

Make the people
Hold each other's hands
And fill their hearts with truth
You made up your mind
So do as divined

Put on your armour
Ragged after fights
Hold up your sword
You're leaving the light

Make yourself ready
For the lords of the dark
They'll watch your way
So be cautious, quiet and hark

You hear them whispering
In the crowns of the trees
You're whirling 'round
But your eyes don't agree

Will'o'the wisps
Misguiding your path
You can't throw a curse
Without takin' their wrath

Watch out for the seas of hatred and sin
Or all us people forget what we've been
Our only hope's your victory
Kill that Satan who won't let us be--kill!

You're the Keeper of the Seven Keys
That lock up the seven seas
And the Seer of Visions said before he went blind
Hide them from demons and rescue mankind
Or the world we're all in will soon be sold
To the throne of the evil payed with Lucifer's gold

You can feel cold sweat
Running down your neck
And the dwarfs of falseness
Throw mud at your back

Guided by spells
Of the old Seer's hand
You're suffering pain
Only steel can stand

Stay well on your way and follow the sign
Fulfull your own promise and do what's divined
The seven seas are far away
Placed in the valley of dust heat and sway

You're the Keeper of the Seven Keys
That lock up the seven seas
And the Seer of Visions said before he went blind
Hide them from demons and rescue mankind
Or the world we're all in will soon be sold
To the throne of the evil payed with Lucifer's gold

Throw the first key into the sea of hate

Throw the second key into the sea of fear
Throw the third key into the sea of senselessness
And make the people hold each other's hands
The fourth key belongs into the sea of greed

And the fifth into the sea of ignorance
Disease, disease, disease my friend
For this whole world's in devil's hand
Disease, disease, disease my friend
Throw the key or you may die

On a mound at the shore of the last sea
He is sitting, fixing your sight
With his high iron voice causing sickness
He is playing you out with delight

"Man who do you just think you are?
A silly bum with seven stars
Don't throw the key or you will see
Dimensions cruel as they can be"

Don't let him suck off your power
Throw the key...!

An earthquake, squirting fire, bursting ground
Satan's screaming, and earth swallowing him away!

You're the Keeper of the Seven Keys
That lock up the seven seas
And the Seer of Visions said before he went blind
Hide them from demons and rescue mankind
Or the world we're all in will soon be sold
To the throne of the evil payed with Lucifer's gold

21 word story time on 2/22/2019 9:16:57 PM
My father, the Shogun's decapitator, decapitated a hundred lords. Wasn't scared; Shogun was: sent ninja spies to kill him. Everything changed.


Shortened from the intro clip to Liquid Swords from the movie Shogun Assassin (1980):

When I was little, my father was famous
He was the greatest samurai in the empire
And he was the Shogun's decapitator
He cut off the heads of a hundred and thirty-one lords
It was a bad time for the empire
The Shogun just stayed inside his castle and he never came out
People said his brain was infected by devils
My father would come home, he would forget about the killings
He wasn't scared of the Shogun, but the Shogun was scared of him
Maybe that was the problem
Then, one night, the Shogun sent his ninja spies to our house
They were supposed to kill my father but they didn't
That was the night everything changed

The Weekly Review - Edition 37 on 2/22/2019 8:07:41 PM
The Weekly Review – Edition 37


What's New Section giving the latest info on the Forums

mizal's Blunder: 23 Commendation mitsake

The Featured Picture of the edition

Finally, a special interview with ISentintelPenguinI (aka Sent)


In Newbie Central someone probably joined recently-ish!

In the Lounge nothing happened because everyone is on discord!

In News and Updates there is neither news nor updates but instead a contest that will inevitably fail and produce nothing!

In the Parlour Room all is quiet as usual!

In the Creative Corner stuff was moved and there's something happening!

In the Writing Workshop people posted some stuff this year!

In the Reading Corner people posted some stuff last year!

In the Advanced Editor’s Forum the usual scripting noob questions!

In the Feature Well someone threw in a rock instead of a coin!

In the Bugs and Problems section people probably complained about the Server Error in \ Application error as per tradition!


mizals' Blunder: 23 commendation mitsake!

In the dark early morning of a few days ago mad mod mizal was sifting through the usual cold midnight shit when she came across a wonderful game: How To Date A Middle School Guy by RedWinter. The game, a 0/8 pile of vile shit-stained trash, was ready to be unpublished any minute. Mad-mod mizal, at it again, did the unexpected: commended the story - 23 TIMES! An unprecidented mistake of unbelievable scale. What made her commend it? A brief look at the content:


A page from within the storygame.

As seen by the lack of grammar and spelling, the usage of emoji text, and far too much punctuation - any reason mizal had to commend this is beyond anyone. She commended it anyways and RedWinter gained a whopping 23 commendations that morning. mizal reacted accordingly, attempting to fool us by feigning it as an accident - blaming her fellow mods of seniority such as Killa, 3J, and even attempting to pass blame on his majesty BZ. Regardless of these attempts she also immediately "tried" to cover her tracks - proposing to delete the game soon after commending it. She proceded to delete it out of embarassment but this news report believes otherwise.

Commendations cannot be taken away - they are permanent and mizal knows this and had known prior to commending the trash game. Is it possible that a trash game was made by her friend or family member purely to game the commendation system? We asked an expert who decided to remain anonymous what his views were on the situation:

Q: How could this have happened, [redacted]?

A: "As a foremost expert on commendations I can conclude with absolute certainty that mizal pressed the commendation button 23 times."

Q: Could this have been on accident?

A: "It's unlikely, but her technological incompetence is infamous. I must be going now, thanks, love you, bye."

After reading that, what do you think? Was it on purpose? Was it a classic mizal-mistake?


Featured picture of the edition: Mardox in a dress

Scandalous "man" Mardox revealed his pass-time as cross-dressing and shared a picture with us:

This blurry photo of the estranged lesbian Mardox in a chainmail dress not much longer than the average office pencil-skirt was posted some time ago on his gay catholic discord server.


Special Member Interview: ISentinelPenguinI (aka Sent)

Q1: How did you first find this site and what made you want to join?

A1: Wtf It's Like There's literally NO other practical purpose for that armor except to look like a huge faggot. Like there's not that much room for a good gambeson, even if we're pretending that's good metal and it's short-sleeved for some reason even though they obviously had enough fucking links to make this giant fucking skirt!

Q2: Why do you write Choose your Own Stories?

A2:It's just, why? It's so gay. This is something elves wear in LOTR fanfics. This is armor so gay Prince Adam on Eternia would've thought it had heavy undertones. This chainmail dress is so fucking gay Loras Tyrell would have found it offensive to wear to a fantasy pride parade.

Q3: Who are your favorite authors and what are your favorite stories on this site?

A3: It's a goddamn cocktail dress! Motherfucker trying to look all badass and historical lookin' like Whitney Houston at the end of that one movie. You wouldn't see armor like this in Final Fantasy. I mean, yeah, it's not nearly overdetailed and impratical enough for that, but you wouldn't see the concept of a man wearing an armored choid boy robe because of how gay it is.

Q4: Your interests are very wide-ranging, do you think playing computer games can provide good inspiration for story writing?

A4: He looks like the knight that was getting swirlies from his fellow crusaders...Under Stephen of Cloyes. Haha, children's crusade joke. It's like when knights are too noble to put in the pillory after they've done something retarded, so you make them wear this dress into battle and the peasants throw tomatoes at him anyway.

Q5: Any advice for other writers?

A5: He looks like Monty Python gave up.

Q6: How about some final thoughts?

A6: This is the kind of armor that's only acceptable in fantasy works such as Eye of Argon; and even then, Jim Theis would go on for several incomprehensible paragraphs about what a ponce he looks like.


That's all folks!

Is this idea too...faggy? (Yes) on 2/21/2019 4:19:45 PM
Go for it, nobody should depreciate your creativity without having read it first. good luck have fun

Corgi's Unofficial Contest: The Lords of the Land on 2/15/2019 2:59:51 PM
Forgot this existed

The Day of Love....and Sometimes Condoms on 2/15/2019 2:57:37 PM
Got laid at the end of it.

Valentine's Day on 2/14/2019 2:28:37 PM

Valentine's Day on 2/13/2019 8:38:14 PM
Heat guns are on sale

Poll: Swift Execution or Public Stoning? on 2/13/2019 12:01:28 AM
Been a while since I threw a good stone. Not been a while since the last beheading so clearly a public stoning is in order.

Think about others before you comment on 2/11/2019 7:58:50 PM
fuck you