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Salutations! I'm Purr Lure and I like to read CYOA stories at my desk job. I thought that it might be fun to do a little writing myself after reading some of the legendary stories from this website.

I was absolutely astounded to find that not only were there lots of new members still joining but that the amount of people online is usually 100 or more during waking hours. I know most of them are lurkers like I used to be, but it's still pretty neat to know that an unadvertised older website like this still has daily activity.

I just finished the intro page and first bad ending for my first CYOA, titled "Queen Bee". It's based on a reddit writing prompt. I'll be working on it for a few more hours today. Feel free to browse it and give me a little input if you're bored! I think you can see a preview of it from my profile...? Honestly not sure how that works yet.

I'll try to read a few more forum posts and get myself acquainted before I go back to writing. See you guys around!

Edit: Whoops, I guess I need to post a link to my story! https://chooseyourstory.com/story/queen-bee

Your story reminds me of my story that I started. The first day I made it I wrote for like a hour straight and got 4 decently long pages written, then I just stopped writing. I now write on it for less than 5 minutes per week, but I constantly have ideas about events that I could add, I’m just too lazy to actually write. I hope this doesn’t happen to you and that you continue to work on it because you have an interesting premise started. It also reminds me of mine because of the inclusion of animals.

The story isn’t as descriptive as what it could be, I was really confused as to why she passed out as soon as she came into her dorm, and I’m not sure if I like your summary type introduction. There’s a really bad time flow, and I can’t tell if the beginning is her thoughts or a narrator. My story is written in the same POV as yours, and what I did to make it seem less like narrator telling the story is by using the word ‘remember.’ I started off mine with action, then had the reader witness a flash back to explain the character’s motives. I feel like you could also do something similar by starting off by going into her dorm and passing out, then maybe have her remember her past and how she regrets not believe it her parents and being rebellious.

Thanks for taking the time to read my story and respond, it means a lot to me!

While I've only been writing for a few hours the time is flying by. Every minute I'm occupied at work and not actually, well working is a huge stress reliever. So I hope that by treating this as a fun hobby instead of a second job I can keep writing without too many major breaks. But I'm sure time will be the ultimate judge of my longevity!

I appreciate the constructive criticism. While today has been more about building the skeleton I will absolutely be putting more meat on the bones before I publish. The intro certainly needs more details for full story immersion. As for the dorm paragraph, I will include a sentence or two describing the protagonist being exhausted after moving furniture and socializing with other freshman at her dorm all day.