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Hello there. Im fairly new to writing and this site as a whole, my friend showed me it a few weeks ago. I was wanting to see what people thought of something I just started, to see if its any good or not. http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-end-is-pretty-damn-nigh

Welcome to the site. I hope you enjoy your stay here.

Welcome to the site.

Not much there yet to give feedback on, but just as a general thing you want to make sure you proofread before publishing and also it looks like what you do have could stand to be broken up into paragraphs. I'm seeing a lot of actions and skips to different subjects all just kind of crammed together.

Did get a chuckle at 'aside from the obvious chest issue' though although unless it's a plot point that it's unusual/unexpected for the character to be female it's probably best to keep bringing it up like 'lol, tits' as the story goes on.

Anyhow I always recommend people take a little time to read and review a few other stories, especially the top rated ones just to get an idea of the possibilities and the kinds of things readers are looking for. (Reading the more details reviews can be helpful in that regard too.)

And just be sure not to bite off more than you can chew with your first story, even if you're used to writing regular ones CYOAs can be a lot of work and it's better to plan out a smaller scale story you can complete than get overwhelmed by a big project and wind up either rushing it out in a half assed way or abandoning it all together.

Good luck with your project.

:) Hi! Welcome! Your story sounds very intriguing so far. If you need some inspiration, I have this list of awesome stories/games I have found on this site so far. I use copy and paste to recommend these to people when I get the chance:

I especially recommend the works by BerkaZerka, Ogre11, and EbonVasilis. So far I have only been able to read some of each of their impressive works in the limited time I am here. I suspect all their works are awesome!

BerkaZerka’s Dead Man Walking (Zombie Survival) is extremely well written [I managed to get the best possible ending!] and kept my eyes glued to the phone I use (though it does have violence/gore and some language), he has also got great puzzles and games (Some of which I have still not completed. They’re awesome!). Ogre11’s awesome works I have read/played so far include: Spy Mission (You gotta see the different endings), Cryogenic Failure (Again, you gotta see the different endings), UFO at School, Alien Abduction, Finding the Muse (this will definitely help aspiring writers). Of EbonVasilis’s works, so far I have read his epic A Chosen Hero (I’ve got to read more of his works!). I have also played DavidG’s The Tower of Rowena, played cMitchell3’s Get out Alive, read Will11’s true story Climbing Beyond The Clouds, read MinnieKing’s inspirational message Addition, and read the short mouse hero story by pinkalily21, Alone in the Forest. There are great writers and future great writers to be found on this site.

I hope you have an awesome time on the site!