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Hello everybody, I recently joined this community (a few months ago). I thought it's a bit of a waste of everybody's time to post something when you don't have anything important to say. Today, I know awfully late, it struck me that not introducing yourself is rude. So why don't we all pretend, I got abducted by aliens right after joining and only managed to escape today? That's a bit less boring than reading a post about a newbie with nothing to say.

So what should I say about myself? I'm just another lurker behind a screen, who likes stories and games. And thanks to good old Google, I ended up here. But luckily, this is the internet and nobody can verify if what I'm going to say is the truth. So why should I just admit that I'm just some random internet spawn? I'm a master of words, who has traveled countless realms (conquered them while I was at it), and inspired awe and terror into all. Now I have descended in this mortal realm, in order to give a new meaning to the written word. I was only momentarily stopped by a few foolish alien invaders, who of course got crushed by me. In case that was a bit too abstract, it means: I'm totally awesome!

I'm aware that some of you may not completely believe me, but since you posses no proof (as of yet) that I'm lying, why not give me the benefit of doubt? English is not my first language, so don't go ahead and grab those few puny and totally unimportant grammatical errors, as 'proof'. To those that still stubbornly refuse to acknowledge my self-proclaimed greatness, it will be as if you just wasted a bit of your valuable time reading the introduction of some raving newbie. The choice is yours.

I mean, that's cool and impressive and all, but we have the Dark Lord of Death on this site.  So please don't be offended if some are not impressed.  :)

Certainly not, but since I'm new allow me to abuse the one perk that comes with it and ask what must seem a silly question. Who's "Dark Lord of Death"? I tried to look up his username, but I can't find anything. And I did brag a lot, but I didn't claim to be a reaper yet.

I'll just tell you to go read Necromancer now before 20 other people do.

Protip: don't tag anyone three times when it's suggested

Ah, ok I get it, silly mistake. I know who you're talking about now, I wasn't aware of the nickname.

Damn Mizal, you're a killjoy! :( My evil plan to tell this noob to tag EndMaster 3 times to get even more superpowers will not work now.
So uh, just go stab your eyes out or something, new guy.

I didn't read any of that but I trust if I missed anything important I'll be able to figure it out from context later.

Hi and welcome to the site etc. Let us know if you have any questions, and feel free to repeat any questions you might have already asked that I didn't read.

Thanks, you outsmarted me by not reading it. It all came down to the question: "What the heck should I write here?"

Hey new person! It's cool to hear you're just so damn awesome. However, I know a trick that'll make you even more amazing. If you're curious, just ask! :)
Are you planning on writing anything? If not, that's fine, too. You can also just read, and preferably leave reviews while at it. I recommend you check out the featured stories first, such as Eternal, Bestist Frend Jane or Dead Man Walking. Don't be an idiot and have fun!

Thanks for believing me on my word, not many would be foolish kind enough to do that. I'm however not 'planning' to write something, I'm already busy doing it! (this is not a bad joke, I mean a real story not this post)

Welcome. Even though you were abducted against your will, thanks for not being rude anymore.