TheNewIAP, The Grandmaster of the Written Word

Member Since


Last Activity

8/20/2019 3:31 PM

EXP Points


Post Count


Storygame Count


Duel Stats

0 wins / 0 losses





Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Earning 2,000 Points Earning 5,000 Points Won the 2018 Epic Contest Having 1 Storygame(s) Featured Rated 95.6% of all Stories


Featured Story Bestist Frend Jane
After his best and only friend's brutal death, a seven-year-old boy sets out across the country hell-bent on fulfilling her dream. Along the way, he must overcome his deficiencies—both real and imagined—to assuage his own pain and guilt.

Winner of the 2018 EPIC Contest!

Thanks to everyone for pushing me throughout the contest so I could actually finish something for a change—especially the other contestants who were both helpful and competitive. And thanks to BradinDvorak for help with CSS.

Recent Posts

v20190002 Update on 8/16/2019 10:05:47 AM
I should've posted here for everyone instead of just Discord... I do like trophies so thanks for this!

Wtf is wrong with you? on 6/28/2019 8:22:28 PM
Traumas: Was homeless in 2nd grade and woke up with a 'possum snuggled up in my armpit once, and went without food for days at a time. Spent all of 3rd grade eating nothing but hot dogs or grape jelly sandwiches so I can't even look at those anymore. Nothing to speak of 'til after HS because I was finally old enough to work and child labor wasn't frowned upon back then. A grizzly nearly ran a moose over me and it was traumatic getting to the boat before the griz could make it there. Nearly cut my own leg off at the knee with a chainsaw. My severely obese neighbor waddled up the road to my house wearing spandex shorts and tried hitting on me.

Orientation: Not defective. Facing North since I'm at my computer desk.

Nationality: American.

Disorders: Dealing with hillbillies and retards and hillbilly retards on a daily basis. Working long hours, weekends and holidays, for far less money than I should. Not sleeping enough and sometimes too much. Overeating when I remember to eat at all.

Nothing really special, I guess. Just your average person.

Ask A SUCKubus on 6/28/2019 6:59:33 PM
There were strange things that happened at the house in the country we moved to when I was just starting HS.

There were knocks at the door and you could hear footsteps in random rooms at times when you were the only one in the house. I thought it might've been someone messing with us, but there never was anyone in sight when I'd rush outside to try to catch whoever it was. They couldn't have run the three-quarters of mile or so to the highway in that time and there were no hiding places nearby.

Lights would turn on and off by themselves. The toaster would pop up on its own. We had to turn running faucets off almost daily. I can't even recall all the other little things like that that were only minor nuisances.

Sometimes, the car would start out in the detached garage and then die the instant anyone would open the door to go check on it. The car's doors were still locked when we checked and there wasn't another door other than the big one that faced the house.

The closet door in my room would be open a crack if I woke up in the night. Even if I'd tied it shut or wedged something under it so it couldn't open, it would be flung wide open when I got up in the morning. And one time, the quilt I was using had been pulled off of me and dragged mostly inside and the door was wedged closed on it. With my baseball bat in hand, I cautiously opened the door to find no one in there.

My brother says that whatever it was that was there had followed him from there to every place he'd moved to. All I can say is that I'm glad it was him and not me.

50 words story thread. on 5/31/2019 2:09:26 PM
I figured I'd throw a few together since this thread is active again. So, here they are...

“I have always had a thing for soft, dainty hands. Yours may be the nicest I’ve seen in a good long while. I love how smooth your skin is and how perfectly it fits into mine, but if you don’t stop your damned blubbering I’ll cut the other one off!”

* * * * *

Joe loved Sally with all his heart. He’d planned out his proposal to be romantic in every detail. With butterflies in his stomach and holding back a goofy grin, he got down on one knee. He looked up with adoring eyes, cracked open the tiny box…and let one go.

* * * * *

As the rumble subsided and the smoke cleared, Jack slowly pulled off his mask to reveal the hollow sockets of a man who had gone through too much in the last days. The alien plantlife that had taken over was now iradicated and he was free to replant his garden.

The DUEL Stories - May 2019 on 5/28/2019 1:39:32 PM
There were some pretty good stories here, in my opinion. It wasn't easy for me to narrow it down to three, but here's my prefered order: 1 - H 2 - G 3 - J Great job everyone!

Interesting comments 4 on 5/25/2019 11:31:44 AM
Lol That shared experience is the whole reason Jane and Billy became such fast friends.

The more I think about this comment, the more I want to PM them and say "Sorry, but this isn't the real world where everyone is perfect and always farts rainbows . This is fiction!"

I won't, though. I'll just take the comment in stride and laugh at them for having such a narrow existence.

CYS Dev Thread on 3/19/2019 3:22:11 PM
If you mean not having the menu across the top, then I was having the same issue until a few minutes ago without even knowing it until I selected a theme in my profile. Now the site looks totally different. Edit: I changed back since my OCD or whatever goes haywire when the lowercase i's in labels don't show up. Plus, I'm not particularly fond of the subscript numbers on the main game pages since they're partially obscured by the line. But, that's probably just me.

CYS Dev Thread on 2/3/2019 7:57:25 AM
I didn't realize that that's what you were talking about in the former post, but an app for offline game creation sounds like something that would really be beneficial to a lot of folks. And by a lot of folks, I mean me. I've attempted to install Win10 in VirtualBox only to have it crap out midway through setup for some reason. I did manage to get Win7 up and running, though. It could be some time before I break down and buy a new computer since the four I have are more than enough to keep up with as it is, but I've been researching them online just in case I get a wild hair.

Poll (Sort of): Firstest Story on 1/4/2019 8:10:48 PM
I'm not really sure about my first story, but I remember doing one in 3rd grade where we had to use as many words from a list for a Halloween story and I managed to use every single one.

This is a bug on 1/2/2019 12:07:54 AM
Sauteed mole cricket