WouldntItBeNice, The Journeyman Scrivener

Member Since

1/21/2016

Last Activity

9/22/2018 6:30 PM

EXP Points

2,070

Post Count

902

Storygame Count

10

Duel Stats

31 wins / 33 losses

Order

Notorious Marauder

Commendations

52
As of 7/1/2018:

I won't be around much. Life has been happily kicking my ass. :)

If you want to know more about me, send me a PM. Anyway, I'm fairly nice but my writing abilities are less than superb. Still, that's not stopping me from improving!

Please rate my storygames, especially Solstice, No Quarter, Darius, and The Duet. My goal is to eventually have one over 100 ratings. Thank you!

 



QUOTES!
Mayana: "Wibn, your anime story is so bad that it'll give Leora depression when she reads it, turning her into a younger Myn."
Steve: "Wibbons, you're such a raging, closeted faggot that you're super pathetic, and thus, I can't even hate you and hope you learn to love the little girl inside you."
Ebon: "Just get good wibn."
Ebon (again): "I don't know either tbh. For some reason wibn pisses me off an absurd amount"
Corgi: "And apparently wibns has whored himself out in exchange for getting lashed in the nuts via whip?"

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Earning 2,000 Points Jointly won the 2017 Wilderness Contest Having 1 Storygame(s) Featured Rated 61.9% of all Stories

Storygames

4-Simplex

The barrier between impossible and possible is thin.

This is an entry for the Summer Slam contest.

You will be individually following Billy Joe, Runt, Virgil, and Slim.

Author's Notes:
Each character has their own storyline that is intertwined with the others' own storylines, so your choices will effect the paths of multiple characters simultaneously in little and big ways. A choice can have a large effect even if it does not appear to do so at first, so choose carefully. Sometimes, a character's storyline is blocked (by dying) until another character does something different. Lastly, try to be nice and try not to die, for it is very helpful to do both of those things.

Also, I am deeply grateful for Tyrannosaurusrex's beta-reading. Your imputes were very helpful. Thank you so much.


Featured Story About Darius and the Desert God

This's an entry to EndMaster's Romance Contest.

Just because I write something or a character believes in a certain belief does not mean that I endorse it. In fact, there are several actions in here that are detestable to me, but I included them anyway. Then again, there's also paths that I really like from a moral standpoint.

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? -- Mark 8:36

Also, thank you very much to Ikiriakos for beta testing my storygame! Your input was very helpful in clearing up some rather odd things plot-wise.



EDIT: I fixed some grammatical errors. Also, Darius is a prince now instead of a crown prince due to Steve's suggestion. I made a few aesthetic adjustments as well.

Claire of Lune

This was an entry for the Chaos Contest. Now it's just here for you to enjoy.

 

A frozen winter can be akin to Hell
So listen to this story that I will tell
Crazies throw the world into Chaos today
There's no way for me to keep evil at bay

Crazies should give you fright
Especially their bite
While the men act like beasts
Wanting tomorrow's feasts


Life as a Time Traveler

Steve is a time traveler, but he is not a superhero. He does not use his powers for battling evil or being evil. In fact, he does not even know what to do with his gloomy and crumbling life.  Perhaps today things will be different. Perhaps today his present and future will be saved by... quite a special person.

Author's Note: The endings depend on Steve's previous decisions. There is one special ending found half way through the game, one sad ending, two real endings that are found at the end, and the true epilogue that is the best ending. (The best ending has Stephanie in it in case you are wondering.)


Neon Genesis Evangelion
This is a what-if fanfiction for Neon Genesis Evangelion. If you want a guide on making the right choices, click this link.

Things you need to know:

The creatures called Angels are "monsters" that intended to cause the Third Impact to destroy humanity. They would unite with the original Angel in NERV's lowest level of their base in Tokyo-3. They are not heavenly angels.

Evangelion units are giant cyborgs grown from the DNA of the first Angels. They were built by the paramilitary organization NERV who combats the Angels with their pilots all of whom are (by necessity) fourteen since Second Impact occured fourteen years ago.

Rei Ayanami is the First Child: pilot for Eva unit 00. She recently died… sorta. Rei is not normal to say the least.

Asuka Langley is the Second Child: pilot for Eva unit 02. She lost the will to live and is now in the hospital after being suicidal and depressed.

Shinji Ikari is the Third Child: pilot for Eva unit 01 and the son of Gendo (the secretive, asshole leader of NERV). He just killed the final Angel who happened to be his new best friend. Now, he's depressed as well.

Description:
Kaworu, the final angel, died. All is set to start Instrumentality; however, Gendo realizes Rei's rebellious nature and delays both NERV and SEELE. With both sides manipulating for their own benefits, it leaves the pilots with more time. Their world, bodies, and minds are broken. Could Shinji, Asuka, and Rei heal before it is too late or will they only hurt each other more?

Now, I thank my amazing beta.

Mayana, you are the best beta reader ever. Without a doubt, this storygame would be horrible without your help. You found countless errors, made me change countless awkwardly worded sections, and had me clarify parts. In all, you read way over 100,000 words diligently. You countless hours of toil has helped this storygame improve immensely.

Maya, you went above and beyond what anyone could expect of a beta. You have my dearest thanks and gratitude.

No Quarter

This is a fan fiction of Led Zeppelin's song "No Quarter".

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It is also an entry for the New Frontier Contest.


Solstice

This is part of the School Based storygame contest.

This is Lawrence's final few days at Hawthorn School. Things become... memorable.

There is also an indirect sequel to one of the endings (the one with the highest point value). Here it is.

EDIT:
After two years, I want through and made a few slight changes. I polished a few things and made several grammar and spelling corrections.


The Carnival, Ginny, and I

This is the story of Ginny and Ethan's times at the carnival. As the years pass, can Ginny and Ethan's friendship continue or will their paths no longer intertwine? Will Ethan overcome his avid dislike of roller coasters?

Can their friendship bloom into something greater?

EDIT:
Okay, after viewing the comments, I too realized the massive error I had created in the original ending. Thank you Briar Rose, Bucky, and Steve24833 for you comments. I truly mean that. In fact, I burst out laughing (at my story) when I read the comments,especially Briar Roses. Thank you.

Now, there are two endings. The first is the original (with a few small changes), and the new one is much different from the other one. (They also wrote to each other because this story took place before the internet became widely public.)


The Duet
This's an indirect sequel to my storygame Solstice. You don't need to play it to understand this one. I did have fun writing this. I've been meaning to return to Hawthorn School for nearly two years.

You never got along with her well. Cerise acts very abrasive. For the past few weeks, she's been raving about the talent show for your middle school. It's a big deal. Parents come in to see their kids perform, a rare opportunity to show off when you hardly ever see them. And Cerise likes to show off, a lot. The day before the talent show, you're confused. Why is she hiding behind a tree crying?

If you're wondering what the piece Jesus bleibet meine Freude sounds like when it's mentioned in the story, here's an audio file.


EDIT: I fixed the grammar errors that I could find. Also, the jacket choice does matter. One of them opens up a choice for you later on that wouldn't be there otherwise.

EDIT #2: I had a hilariously unfortunate error. Essentially, I had a wrong link that caused 60% of the story to be skipped yet still seemed logical enough to not throw off the readers. Shoot. Well, that's fixed now.

Waiting for the (Trump) Train

Alternate title: WIBN Parodies Annoying Stuff

TRIGGER WARNING: If you personally know Trump, have ever heard of Trump, know anybody who knows Trump, know anybody who has ever heard of Trump, or has political beliefs of any kind, please do not play.

None of your choices have any effect. If you do see a choice having an effect, then you must be clearly wrong. Heck, it isn't like this is a site where you can choose your own story or anything.

The story is told though you own choices. Don't argue with me. Your choices have no meaning, but the entire storygame is told through your choices.

Also, please do not comment or rate my storygame. I published it not to improve my abilities as a writer. My feelings will be hurt if you even think about commenting especially if your comments are not nice. Also, men cannot comment because sexism or something.


01Test
unpublished

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NGE: How to Win
unpublished
Don't bother clicking the play game link. Everything is in this description.

So, you wanna win my storygame Neon Genesis Evangelion? First, this storygame has two different types of choices. One is a bad choice that'll just get you killed. The others seem to be mostly harmless but turn out to be game changers later on.

As a general rule, take action whenever possible and try to build stronger relationships with the three pilots. To be more specific...

Choice 1: Attempt to Fix Them. I'm evil, so if you choose the other option, it won't seem to be important until the end. If you don't choose this, then you can't get the True Ending.

Choice 2: I Want to Pilot My Eva. The other one results in suicide.

Choice 3: Protect Her. About twenty pages from now, Asuka will die unless you choose this option.

Choice 4: Either one is fine. I initially planned otherwise, but I ended up really liking both. You can win after making either choice. Also, sorry. You have five links now with no choices. I feel bad about that.

Choice 5: Fabricate a Lie to Explain Asuka's Scars. Yes, that's a long title for a choice. Again, this'll matter at the end.

Choice 6: Comfort Him. Again, this one is important. It's also one of my favorite scenes of my story.

Choice 7: Pilot the Eva. You'll die in a few pages if you don't choose this.

Choice 8: No. Don't submit to Gendo. Ever.

Choice 9: Relent. Don't kill Shinji, so stop choking him.

Choice 10: She Leaves for Her... Family. This one matter to get to the true end.

Choice 11: Try to Be Nice to Rei. This'll matter at the end.

Choice 12: Feel Sympathy. This'll result in a victory in the upcoming battle.

Choice 13: Fight!. I even put an exclamation point on that one. Keep Asuka from dying, please.

Choice 14: Save My Friends. Don't let them die, okay?

Choice 15: Steal Adam. While rejecting Adam leads to an ending that I'm rather fond of (it's titles Leave and contains the words Ayanami Park), stealing Adam leads to the true end.

Choice 16: Begin Instrumentality to Revive Them. Yup, you'll do the very thing you tried to prevent the entire story. This choice will not appear unless you made the right choices for 1-15.

Choice 17: Live. Enjoy the ending. I even have a picture and Ode to Joy!

SPACE NOAH
unpublished

The Mountain of Scath Dubh
unpublished

You are a weary traveler in a mysterious land.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-mountain-of-scath-dubh


Recent Posts

How long does it take ? on 9/21/2018 10:11:27 PM
It took me about a month to make my most successful storygame, About Darius and the Desert God. It took me one day of planning and two days of writing to make my favorite one, The Duet.

Cello Suite No 1 on 9/20/2018 11:44:44 PM
It's a liniar story, so it won't be a storygame, but I will post a link to it in my profile when it's completed. I'm much too fond of this story to hide it from y'all.

Cello Suite No 1 on 9/20/2018 11:43:30 PM
I'm not drunk. I was in a rush and only used the message bow under Ford and Brad extension thingy. It doesn't have spell/grammar check. I'm a sloppy typer. The excerpt was written in word doc (07).

Blair has a key and goes in like that all the time. She would've announced herself, but she decided to stare at him playing instead. She also isn't a polite person, though you gathered that already.

I addressed the cello thing in Undr's reply. This also applies to the next paragraph too, but Blair is an overreactor on top of all her other problems. She's a self-absorbed bitch who slowly transforms into someone quite nice. This's in the transition period where she isn't that good at the "being nice" thing.

Dang it. There's another prepositional error. Also, I did accidentally switch him and then.

I like writing about music. I'm glad I didn't suck at it. Blair is pushy, and she isn't good at being empathetic. I had a fun time molding a background that'd make her present state understandable though. She eventually gets less annoying. Too bad I didn't post an excerpt from where I introduced her. She was a horrid person.

Thank you, Mizal!

Cello Suite No 1 on 9/20/2018 11:22:00 PM
If you have good critiques, I'll gladly accept them regardless of newb status. (They're good crituques too.)

Hm, I've been trying to write more based on how I speak just to make my writing not so dull. Some of my local slang got in apparently. In is right, but I often say at irl anyway. Blair selfidentifies as German (where she grew up). Maybe I should've mentioned that. This's the first time she heard anything reletively "home" until now.

Blair does have the keys actually. Nothing weird about that at all...

Why did I use of? Weird. Thanks for pointing that out.

Plot answer: Ezekiel is a pretty reserved kid, so doing something that she had no idea he could do and do it with a lot of emoton. Her surprise wasn't that the piece was being played but who was playing it.

Ouch, that hurt. I should've been able to catch that.

What was wrong with this one?

I thought this one sounded weird. I couldn't figure out what it was though. Well, now I know.

I agree. A short exceprt like this is hard to feel anything towards the characters. Thank you for the review though! Seeing another person's perspective helps a lot. For example, it seems as though I've been making mistakes with minor words like with, for, and of. I wouldn't have expected that.

Cello Suite No 1 on 9/20/2018 5:44:04 PM
Well, this's just an exceprt of something I wrote a little over month ago. I'm just wondering to see if y'all think I'm getting better or not because the last "real" thing I did here is several months old. Thanks.

Background info for know what's going on-- Blair has been having a bad day, so she went to see her good and largely only friend Ezekiel. Ages: 15ish. Location: an appartment in a city. Blair: bossy but tries to be sorta nice to her friend. Ezekiel: thughtful but doens't express himself much and has no self-confidence.
ALso, italisized words are inner thoughts from Blair's POV.

ZZZ

Blair takes the stairs up. Of course, the elevator would be faster, but the act of doing something relieves stress. Even if that something doesn’t help, it’s better than sitting around like a lazy bastard. As she walks to the front door, she hears something surprising, maybe one of the most surprising things since she arrived at this stupid country. She opens the door quietly.

Yeah, I’m not hearing things. It’s a bit slower than the tempos she’s used to hearing, but an old piece of music lofts out the door. She recognizes the piece immediately. It is German after all. Bach’s Cello Suite, number one. I didn’t know he listened to this stuff.

She steps through the doorway, ready to congratulate him on some sensible taste of music. Still, she feels a somber tone, maybe a bit reflective. There are happier versions of it for him to listen to. Maybe she could buy him a better set. She peeks from behind the doorway to the living room. Yeah, I have such a g-

Holy shit.

Ezekiel sits on a chair, looking out the window, but he’s playing the cello. This music. This haunting, solemn rendition. It’s Ezekiel, her Ezekiel. Blair stands frozen in place. Her brain tries to comprehend this sudden change to how she views him. Music is one of the many doorways to the soul. If this’s his soul, then it’s a damned dark place. Plus, he plays the cello like a professional. Where did he even get that cello?

Then, the music stops; the song ended. He leans back, eyes still transfixed to the setting sun. He visited his mother’s grave today with his father. What did then he do? He took out his cello and played THIS. He needs a friend’s help. RIGHT NOW.

Careful to not let her footsteps make a sound, she walks up to her roommate. “Can you play the prelude to the fourth?”

She startles him to where he almost drops the cello. His entire body jerks to face her. “W-what are you… Um.”
She gives the warmest and most sincere smile possible for her. “The prelude to Bach’s fourth cello suite. Could you play it for me?” I always thought that one was upbeat.

“I, uh.” He looks down at his cello. “It’s the hardest one, and I’m not really good at this.”

She walks in front of him and kneels down, forcing his lowered gaze to be on her.

“Bullshit. That was amazing. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but please play it. Play it happy, for me.”
He gulps and closes his eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Please.”
“Okay.”

Blair sits down in front of him. He messes with his strings for a moment. Then, he raises his bow to the four strings. Music flows forth.

His face twists into a contorted disaster. Rage, sorrow, joy, so much more. It’s all there fighting for control. Still, the music plays. His hand dances across the strings. He opens his eyes. Somehow, they’re both dead and alive, burning with energy and passion but broken and numb.

The notes stream into each other. Murmuring onwards, they connect to form the melody. True to his word, it’s happy, but there’s something hidden behind the happiness. Madness and loneliness. The music increases in notes and tempo. His fingers fly as if possessed. His breathing quickens. Nothing else matters in this instant. It’s just the music, the creation of auditory ecstasy.

Then, the music stops; the song ended.

“Sorry. I made some mistakes, and others played it much better before.” He grimaces. He sets the cello down in a case by his feet.
“Maybe you could play more for me in the future?”
“What?” He looks at her puzzled.
“I like your playing, Ezekiel. I’ll be flattered…” She blushes. “If you’d be okay for letting me hear you.”
His eyes light up. “You really mean that?”
“Yes.”

Blair smiles, and he smiles back.

ZZZ

There you go. Is this at least better than what I used to put out?

EPIC Contest - The Contest to Rule Them All on 9/19/2018 11:50:11 PM
I know of only three who seem that way. One of them still needs 15k more though, but he's trying to make it. Other than that... no.

Ascendant: Ebon's EPIC Motivation Thread on 9/19/2018 5:06:02 PM
DOUBLE SHAMED

My OCD and Ratings on 9/19/2018 4:53:09 PM
I ain't twelve nor am I ever worried about storygames getting unpublished. Not all of my storygames are bad though, just most of 'em. I just track ratings obsessivly. Some storygames go up over time (like my story The Duet) others go down (yours apparently?) while some just fluctuate (my story Darius). Also, yeah... your story is a lot better than most of the crap, including mine, here. Don't worry about it.

User of a Username: Inspiration on 9/17/2018 8:52:20 PM
Thanks. Still, there's a reason why no one calls me by my username though.

User of a Username: Inspiration on 9/17/2018 7:49:08 PM
I took my username from a song named Wouldn't It Be Nice. I regret my descision because WouldntItBeNice is friggen long and just plain odd. Plus, the song brings up very bittersweet memories for me now. :( With a do-over, I would've gone with WonderBread, Wunderbar, Baka, or something else odd like that. :)