Gower, The Reader
"He was slightly less unfun"
Articles WrittenDialogue Punctuation
Recent PostsDuel! Kind of! on 5/23/2019 7:59:07 AM
Maybe tomorrow I will make a new thread, with a post for each bracket. That will help keep the discussion organized (ha).
My R&J Summative on 5/21/2019 9:02:07 PM
I am honored to be asked, but I just cannot evaluate Shakespeare essays during my non-work time lest I perish.
Poetry prompt: Week 15 on 5/19/2019 5:43:11 AM
Will review later in detail, but 4 points.
Watch Ficsean FAIL spectacularly! on 5/18/2019 8:39:26 PM
Since I received no stories at all, I guess everyone loses!
Watch Ficsean FAIL spectacularly! on 5/17/2019 1:54:40 PM
Nah, it's in the ballpark. I think 1052 is fine.
Poem because why not on 5/17/2019 1:54:01 PM
My first thought is that I wish you didn't use the "reap what you sow" cliche in your repeated sestina line.
You thought of a strong theme for the sestina, and that's good--not always easy to do.
Now I'll get into critique.
I thought you might think about whether some of the lines make sense on a literal level--I wasn't sure what it means to say man is a "bone you must not throw" or when you say that "well wrapped gift tied with a bow" "burn bridges" along with death and war. Or that "their stupidity will not tier." I get how death and war can burn a bridge, but not how a gift can. Maybe you mean the metaphorcal meaning of "burn bridges." Simiilarly, I'm not sure about "survival is dire" on a wholly literal meaning.
Now I just realized you meant "tire" rather than "tier"--right? Yeah, the spelling is affecting the meaning here, and that's something to work on--like "lier" for liar.
Spellcheck--use hyphens for compound adjectives (well wrapped should be well-wrapped) and use apostrophes for possessives: "mans"
You've got a good first draft here. Now I would recommend revising to make sure that the poem's literal level works, meaning-wise.
Watch Ficsean FAIL spectacularly! on 5/16/2019 9:32:38 PM
Not necessarily centered upon an egg; just that an egg must be skillfully worked into the plot in some fashion.
Watch Ficsean FAIL spectacularly! on 5/16/2019 7:16:13 PM
Not *always* but certainly going back to the IF Duel conventions as laid out in 1566.
Ah, I see--you mean those dinky things called duels that one settles with RPS or toggle. No, these are grander affairs.
Watch Ficsean FAIL spectacularly! on 5/16/2019 7:07:57 PM
Excellent. The weapon is zombie short story, and the length will be approximately 1,000 words.
The secret ingredient: an egg.
You must include an egg as an element in your story. Weaving it in skillfully will of course be noted by the judges.
Please anonymize your story and send it directly to me; I will post the two stories here without names, so people can judge the stories wholly on their merits. You have two days, starting now.
"Bored" on 5/16/2019 6:50:07 AM
We are all looking forward to what "u" can do in your first story here, particularly the short story duel that you have yet to accept.