A second chance (DEMO)

One thing that I absolutely recommend is that you finish this before you publish this. Releasing demos is not cool, and stories get deleted for this. You can make it a prequel and have a much longer, finished sequel, but until then, I won't give a better rating then 1/10.

I also think you overuse the zombie genre too much. Try having a different theme, and finish those stories before making more.

should be good once you actually finish it and its not just a demo

1. Split up large blocks of text into paragraphs and indent.
2. Give a little more explanation and detail on zombies.
3. Extend the contact with the other survivors, People are an extremely social species and are more likely to be a lot closer together in tough situations.
4. That cliff hanger both got me extremely interested and really pissed that it ended so abruptly.

Not bad for a demo, but it would benefit from breaking the paragraphs up - too much wall of text going on here...