A Witch's Inheritance

Player Rating5.96/8

"#115 overall, #3 for 2018"
based on 125 ratings since 01/08/2018
played 2,157 times (finished 162)

Story Difficulty4/8

"march in the swamp"

Play Length6/8

"It'll be a while, better grab a Snickers®"

Maturity Level7/8

"anything goes"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 18. If this were a movie, it would probably be R.

Your mother was cast aside by your father for certain 'unnatural' practices. Raised by your overly strict father, you always felt as though you didn't belong in the village, and the way the other villagers treated you didn't help. So, what are you going to do about it?

~December Contest prompt #34: The protagonist is the village whore. But she's also a witch!~ 

(This story sort of ran away with itself and I ran out of time, so I hope there's enough 'whore' and 'witch' in it to qualify.)

Player Comments

Wasn’t quite sure what to expect from you initially. It was little surprising that you picked the witch whore topic, but you did and made it work for you.

The writing was consistently good. You described everything pretty well. The protagonist was fleshed out along with the various characters she meets in the various branches which you also had enough of for the story not to be linear.

I know one of the complaints I’ve heard about this one is that it’s mostly a series of unfortunate events and the protagonist seems to be on the receiving end of continually getting kicked in the face.

While it’s probably the sadistic side of me (Which is all of me) that was one of the main reasons why I liked this story. Everything that happens is just one bad thing after another that I couldn’t help but laugh and enjoy! While that probably wasn’t your intention, that doesn’t matter, I liked what you wrote for my reasons.

And besides all that, there are a few paths where she does okay, so its not all bad.

It was a real shame that you didn’t finish this one in time for the contest because this probably would have gotten at least third place from me.
-- EndMaster on 6/23/2018 4:07:06 AM with a score of 0
Looks like a good intro and description of the story. I am always at least slightly put off when I read that the author “ran out of time.” I understand that may have been the case for a contest entry, but the author can always take the story down after the contest is over and finish it. I have seen many authors take that route. Either that, or simply live with what’s published, make it a complete story, and leave that line out.

I like the first page and the start of the story. I like the italics showing me that this is the past and setup for the story. I really like that I have a number of options on the first page as well. From a quick glance there, it looks like these options really have huge effects on the story, which is really great! Of course, because of those varied options, there appear to be a number of ways to end the story really quickly. I do appreciate the options and that they don’t lead back to one another with no effect, but some of the endings really do appear almost too soon.

I like the writing and the story. There are lots of good ideas in here, and I really like all the branching. Some of the pages are longer and have good dialogue and descriptions in them. I find it interesting that almost all of the endings allow me to restart, except the Peaceful ending. Nicely done, I do encourage you to write more, whether it is with this story or another!
-- Ogre11 on 5/16/2018 3:52:41 PM with a score of 0
The idea is a great one, and i enjoyed the characters of the various storylines. However, it seems quite rushed with a lot of very quick endings and then the winning ending that seems as though it glazes over what could have been a fantastic story with lots of personalised choices. I think you should work on expanding the story from the swamp onwards and perhaps even a few of those rather quick ends at the beginning could be fleshed out, to not be so sudden.
-- ThatWeeKyoGirl on 7/12/2018 12:15:05 PM with a score of 0
...even in the best possible ending, it still seems like such a sad story. Still, it is definitely worth a read through, seeing how it is so exquisitely written a tale
-- Almaz on 7/6/2018 7:18:31 PM with a score of 0
surprising twist at the end. :)
-- jess on 6/20/2018 12:33:21 PM with a score of 0
nice job. i finished it and it was great.
-- perin on 6/14/2018 12:48:37 PM with a score of 0
I liked it he was slightly a bad role model for younger readers though
-- bookwizard93 on 3/6/2018 11:10:53 AM with a score of 0
wish it were longer
-- blob on 1/22/2018 11:31:59 PM with a score of 0
Well written, it could have had more to it. I'm assuming the victory in death ending is the main path of the story, which wasn't as long as it could have been. There could have been more branches and decisions during the witch training, which could have made it more interesting.
All in all it was a great story though, and I hope to see more from you.
-- corgi213 on 1/21/2018 12:10:50 PM with a score of 0
Might as well just write a damn book cause I felt like there were no choices.
-- bcr101 on 1/21/2018 5:34:54 AM with a score of 0
Show All Comments