Adventures in Hollywood

Player Rating3.11/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 25 ratings since 04/04/2018
played 123 times (finished 26)

Story Difficulty3/8

"trek through the forest"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level2/8

"choking hazard for children under 4"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 6. To compare to the movie rating system, this would be G.

Tags

You are a new actress that moved from Texas to California to make it big. You thought it would be easy, but you couldn’t be more wrong! Between life, work, and making a mark in the big city, you’ve got your hands full. But will it all slip through your fingers?

Good luck!

 

Player Comments

Wow, that ended pretty quickly. The writing style is excellent but it really needs to be longer. 4/8
-- Xerxes on 4/17/2018 10:26:53 AM with a score of 0
Too short. There were a couple of options (Like randomly dying from a burger) that don't belong in the game at all.
-- Saltiner on 4/16/2018 2:19:59 PM with a score of 0
The actual writing is fine in the technical sense but the story itself was just kind of...well, not a lot happened, and it was very short.

I'd have rather seen the main character actually established within the story itself rather than in a side page with things like height and age and a paragraph of background info. (Although that last bit left me pretty curious about her father who must be insanely well connected if he's getting her into hotels and restaurants for free in Hollywood itself, and I can only assume he had something to do with how quickly she was able to land an acting gig...pretty sure the typical experience of small town nobodies trying to make it big is a bit more difficult!)

Still, nothing wrong with a fun, simple story and for a first time effort it's not bad, I just feel like a lot of opportunities were missed to give the protagonist more personality, or to make the events of it more involving. Right now the biggest challenge to overcome is getting a stain on your shirt.


-- mizal on 4/8/2018 10:52:20 AM with a score of 0
Honestly I would not be reviewing this story if it weren't for Mizal. Your potential really shines with this, I can definitely tell you have some skills. I don't think I can say anything that hasn't been said already except that it didn't really seem like you put your heart into this. I can tell you're a good writer, but you definitely for sure need to add a better pacing because the story itself didn't entertain me except to show me that you'll be an excellent writer someday. It didn't seem like this was your baby. You're a good writer though so I hope to read more from you on this site.
-- Killerainbow on 4/6/2018 11:13:59 PM with a score of 0
As Ebon said, it would've done better if it was longer. Some of the choices also seemed random; however the writing was fine.
-- WouldntItBeNice on 4/5/2018 2:28:23 PM with a score of 0
I’m rating this a four, for the sole fact that it has potential. The writing was very brief, but it wasn’t bad.

It just needs...more. There isn’t very much here, but if expanded on significantly, I could see this being a pretty solid story.
-- EbonVasilis on 4/5/2018 10:49:51 AM with a score of 0
This is OK.. really.

The characters and the grammar is just fine. It's just WAY too short. Also, some "bad endings" are just way uncalled for and a little. There should be some hint or something like that. Anyways, decent game. But I wouldn't play it twice. 4/8
-- LukeDaNoob on 4/5/2018 8:34:27 AM with a score of 0
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